I remember the pain,
The gut-wrenching pain-
That consumed
Me
I remember the quiet that followed,
The dead silence-
That soothed
Me
The sound of your voice,
A voice that had used-
Me

i don't know how it happened
it all just sort of did
the first time you burrowed yourself inside my chest
was the last I ever hid.

YOU TREAT ME LIKE **** BUT THEN YOU KISS MY NECK AND ALL OF THE BAD THINGS FADE AWAY AND MY THOUGHTS ARE THE SMASHED GLASS OF LAST NIGHT'S ***** BOTTLE AND THE STAINED LIQUID ON THE CARPET AND I CAN'T BREATHE BECAUSE YOU ARE TOXIC BUT I CAN'T LET YOU GO

someone told me time heals everything
but time is not gluing my heart together and fixing the spaces where you belonged
time is not erasing the image of your body, lifeless and cold
time is not healing anything
all time does is stall.

17 years of looking for the sun,
and my god how it has let me down

he looked at me like he had never seen me before,
he looked at me like I was the first bloom of the season,
like I was the Holy Ghost every religious ******* is waiting for
like I was the creator and you were the protector and our touch was everything unseen
he looked at me through eyes unhardened
he looked at me selflessly and gracefully
he was the beginning and I was the end
and together we flowed,
endlessly