I almost don't even remember you..
I keep going back to try but
You feel like a dream.

One where the memory is fading
Like when you try to hold on as
You wake up
But it's slowly disappearing
As the morning sunrise shines through the window..

Sometimes I just want to fall back asleep
To make it continue.
Other times, I'm glad it's just black.

My mind is breaking down
And I'm speaking words at walls.
I see them float out of my mouth,
Letter by letter
Like the Alice in Wonderland
Caterpillar.

They float and stick along the brick.

I'm so done. I'm so sick.

I can't keep speaking because it doesn't get through
And it doesn't matter what I do.

I keep asking, is it all me??
Am I the one with a problem?

Then I can feel my mind start detaching
When it goes through all the possibilities
Until the thoughts go so fast that my mind can't even see them anymore.

It starts to slow down then turns into one giant bomb.
And I can't stop...

My reality is twisting and turning.
Leaving me behind
And I can't make sense of anything anymore.
I'm ****** up.
I have a broken mind.

I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.

give me sappy
every-time
if it makes things
easy, lighter
more Human
then YES
let this
be MY
poetry!