As I see you
Laying next to me
As the ghost
That never seemed to fade
Away from the
Destroyed shine of you
In my ajar mind
I was spooked
Like a child
I ran away
From what you spoke of,
Words I thought
You would never produce
Out of your vocabulary
I remeber words
Tripping out of your mouth
And into the treadmill
Of my mind.
Still running
Cutting deep,

Packing my bags
Was the hardest part
Of living with you.
Not the scratch marks
Left on my cage
It was the idea
That no matter how many bags I packed
I couldnt slow down those words.

You see,
You are my past.
Standing as the brick wall
In my future.
No matter how black and white I am,
You, my past
Will find the murky gray spots
On the crack of my skull
And keep running on this treadmill

Funny how Someone can
Asunder a heart of thine
And thou still dost adore them
With all thy riven smithereens

My love, please come to me,
In my life thou dost linger
A love from my sweet past
That beamed than many a star

My love, long have I endured
A heart sundered by love
Though wherever  I wander
Thy sweet love I still dost crave.

Oh my love, come back to me
So we may pick these riven pieces
That like sea waters scattered be
And I'll smoother thee with kisses

Together we'll never sunder
For my love will be thy love
Beaming so bright forevermore
As thy  love will be my love

Blissfully we'll dwell ever after
Like twinkling stars in galaxies
With our enchanted passion
Effulgently lingering in perpetuity.

Could you love a broken man?
One who's been to hell and back?
Could you love someone who would cling on to the first sign of affection?
Could you love someone who has felt betrayal?
Could you love someone who would love you unconditionally?
Could you promise your love to me and only me?

I can't help but think of you and feel hatred.
I am full of love and empathy but for you it's different.
I hate you for what you've done to me.
I hate you for making me hate.

What makes us love?
Can it be reduced just to chemical reactions?
What makes us decide we want to spend the rest of our lives with another person?
Will there ever be an answer?
Does there need to be an answer?

Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and never wake.
Too often, my mind will break.
Internal suffering nobody else will see,
bouts of sadness, moments of glee.
The highs and lows in quick succession,
is this more than just depression?
Is there more the quacks didn't find?
I just want to know what's wrong with my mind.
Can I be helped? Will I be helped?
Will time tell?