I am your reflection

There stood a stranger in my mirror,
who did everything I did  like a game of simon says,
I've never seen this stranger before,
But he was always there when I was,
his presences had a heavy feeling like there were
weights in my stomach,

“I am your reflection”

That's all the stranger would say to me,
I must be day dreaming,
Cause how can my reflection be a stranger.
That's what i had thought,
I had thought you were merely nothing but a man who stood in front of me.
Yet I came to learn that you were anything but a man,
You were the monster under my mothers bed.

“I am your reflection”

See I grew up thinking that you left me,
Like an unwanted toy at a park
And all I thought of was why I wasn’t good enough.
I pointed the finger at me,
And  ignored the idea that you weren’t there
Because you were venom to my mothers life.
That fake smile she gave me
That laugh she fakes to sound happy
It's all because of you.
She left you,
Hoping that you would no longer be thorns to the roses of her life,
But she couldn’t run away from those times with you
Because she was reminded of them whenever she looked at me.

“I am your reflection”

Not once did she mentioned to you that she wanted to
But you didn’t care
So you took a piece of her
Leaving her with an image of you,
Her being reminded of you was her personal hell,
And for most of my life knowing about you
was mine.
When birthdays came  
i feared that someday
I wouldn’t distinguish you from me
I’d break this mirror if it let me stop seeing you
But I knew it would only prevent me from seeing you,
And not from looking like you

I am your reflection

You standing in the mirror seemed like my destiny was inevitable,
That soon I would become the reflection in the mirror,
Doing everything you do,
And doing everything you did
Because I am your son.

I am your reflection

Though our blood runs the same,
I made it my life goal to be everything you weren't,
Cause I am more than just a reflection of you,
While i live my life i know one day I may meet you again
No longer behind the mirror,
But as a ghost from a distant past
Forgotten and irrelevant

I am my reflection.

Some days I feel like a sailor lost at sea
Sailing the endless ocean not knowing
if I will ever find my destination.
Sometimes it’s like I’m surrounded by a cloud of fog, blinded to the point where I can no longer
tell where I came from or where to go next.
Some days I want to see a light from the distance shining through that fog
Calling my name
Showing me where I need to be.
I wanted you to be my light house,
Clearing the fog around me
And letting me know that my journey ended with you. But I felt so lost when I was with you
Maybe because the lighthouse in you,
never wanted to turn the lights on for me

There was so much on my mind that day
And yet it felt like nothing was good enough to say.
You never had to worry
All you had to do was look at me with those marvelous emerald eyes
And you had me picturing of a life where I could stare endlessly at them.
like a beautiful fire you brought warmth to me
And while the flames of my heart danced
I couldn’t stop but be mesmerized of everything about you.
What a cruel fate it is,
To know that you roam the very realms of my dreams
And no longer the realms of my reality.
It seems pointless to write these words about you
To have these thoughts of you
When it could be that I’m no longer a name that leaves your mouth.

What is it that I am feeling,
Every night I lay down and stare at the ceiling,
Missing something that I once had.
And I’m mad because I let it slip through my hands,
Stuck listening to the same jams,
Reminding me of the happiness that once filled my heart,
At what part of my life.
Did my life start to go downhill,
Pills enter my system,
Meant to make me feel,
But the symptoms make me more distant,
With reality becoming more like a fantasy,
And trying to survive has become a routine,
Because i’m constantly remembering the gleam in your eyes,
Which kills me,
It’s like drowning in a sea of memories,
And every time one passes about you,
I sink further into the deep,
I keep wondering what my world would be like if I hadn’t met you,
If I knew would my night skies be clear,
Why did you disappear?,
You left me in this void,
And destroyed what made me human,
It was all an illusion you made,
Just to corrade my emotions,’
Here I am hoping and coping with the idea,
That I live in fear,
I intoxicate myself with beer,
Trying to numb whatever feeling I have for you,
But it will never undo the history we had,
And it’s sad to say,
But it’s the price I pay,
For continuing to walk down this road,
With this load that does nothing but bring me down,
And I continue to surround myself in the dark,
So it’s no wonder they call me one of the ******,
Because I chose to live in the past,
Instead of in the moment,
And it’s made me live in torment,
I’m crying for help,
But I’m afraid for anyone to help,
Because the last person to help me,
Is the reason I live in this hell,
But I hope one day that someone will tell,
That I fell from the top,
And my happiness was robbed,
I hope someone is there,
To make me feel that someone still cares,
And somewhere someone will,
But until then I must fill the hole in my chest,
And rid myself from this depressed place,
But don't think it’s too late to see the light,
As I write I realize how great my life has been since I filled mine,
And as you read I hope you start,
Because you belong here,
No matter what others say or do,
And I know you forgotten how to smile,
But you will get it back even if it takes a while,
What you desire is someone to admire you,
But what you need is to admire yourself first,
You think you’re cursed,
But you are just a prisoner of your own mind,
Who needs to find their way out,
If you thought this poem was about me you are mistaken,
This poem was made for you,
To help break you out.

I'm a mess,
Surrounded by a cloud of darkness,
made up of people who are heartless,
That always leave my night skies to be starless.

I still remember our first date,
It was a beautiful sunny day,
The sun's warmth would wrap around us like blankets,
While the cold breeze would kiss our faces,
we walked down a path together that day,
A path filled with beautiful melodies and flowers,
It was such a beautiful scenery,
A scenery that you couldn't keep your eyes off,
Yet the scenery didnt have my eyes,
You did,
I couldn't keep my eyes off you,
You were something out of my wildest dreams,
A dream come true,
I couldn't believe this was real,
So I grabbed your hand,
Slowly feeling your warm touch,
As our fingers interlocked,
But it still wasn't enough proof,
So I pulled you closer to me,
Staring deeply in your eyes,
Bringing you closer,
until our lips met,
This time I knew I wasn't dreaming,
Because I felt something that I had  never felt before,
And that was happiness,

It has been years since that sunny day,
The days now have become more windy,
With the cold becoming more brutal than ever,
But that didn't take the warmth wrapped around us,
And that's because we had set a fire,
A fire that ignited in both of us,
A fire that cast away every shadow,
We believed this fire will forever keep the darkness locked up,
But we were both wrong,

Because the sun that once shined so bright,
Is now covered by dark clouds,
And the cold breeze that once kissed our faces,
Is now hitting us with heavy blows,
There was nothing warm anymore,
Only the cold was there to hold us,
I reached for your hand,
To make sure you had enough fire in you to keep you warm,
But it was too late,
The cold started to extinguish every last flame dancing in you,
Blowing the fire out like a candle,
Now it was only a matter of time till the same road we walked on,
Seperates to two paths,
With you going one way,
And me the other way,

I bring you in,
Knowing this may be the last time I ever will,  
There was nothing but the sound of your heart beat playing in the air,
Thump, thump,
Thump, thump,
Thump,
Thump,
That's when a faint whisper echoed in my ear
"thank you"
And the beat that once played,
Stopped,
Tears start rolling down my face,
I didn't want to open my eyes,
I didn't want to face the reality,  
Because that would be toughest pill to swallow,
Knowing that you will only live in my memories now.

Hold me close tonight,
I need your arms wrapped around me
Before the pieces of me tumble like a game of jenga,
I'm trying my best to see the last page of my story,
But I think it's only a matter of time till I decide to end my story,

So hold me close tonight
While you fill my head with beautiful fantasies,  
Before I decide to insert lead into it tonight,  
Intoxicate me with your voice,
Before I intoxicate myself with deaths poison tonight,
Give me the oxygen that I have been gasping for,
Before I decide to close the path to my lungs tonight,

Pull the mask off of me,
So you can see past the illusion of my smile,
So you can see that I'm in need of help,
Hold me tonight,  
Before you have to hold the stone with my name on it.

We were both searching for love,  
Yet we didn't know what love was,
Because we both never felt it,
And we were never taught how to love,  
We wanted this idea of love,
So it's no wonder why we plunged into each other's lives so fast,
But I guess we went to fast,
Because we didn't catch each other,
We went through each other,
Taking only the things we were fast enough to catch.

They say love can **** you,
And it's true
love is suicide,
To fall in love is like tying a noose around your neck,
The more you fall in love,
the tighter the noose gets,  
Maybe that's why I felt so breathless
Everytime I saw you smile.

I get the Feeling like I'm stuck in a small room,
A room filled with mirrors reflecting all the things I've done wrong,  
A room surrounded by the sounds of my pain and agony,
A room that seems to cave in more and more as I grow more alone,
I was so used to being in this room,  
Until you painted a door into it,
And now I got a taste of  heaven,
I just wish you were still there holding the door,
But I guess you got tired of trying to show beauty  to someone who all their life has seen ugliness
the door is still open,
But I can't make a choice,
I'm torn apart from knocking on the doors of heaven,  
Or opening the gates to hell,
Im so used to the demons filling the Cracks of my heart,  
That it's hard for me now to let an angel hold me.

Late at night I toss and turn,
Forever stuck in reality's hold,
With demons laying next to me,
And monsters prancing in my head.

They say sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me,
Yet it's words that Pierce through the skin faster than any weapon,
Your sticks and stones may break me,
Yet the pain of that can fade away,
But a single word can cause pain for eternity,
A Pain that we never forget,
A pain that forever haunts us in our sleep,
It's like a wound  that never scars,
It just keeps open as a reminder,
A reminder of the day when we realized
Our hearts can be damaged,

Where did our hearts go?,
Did they disappear as soon as we lost ourselves?
Or are they still in our bodies being prisoners of war,

It's almost as if having a heart is a sin,
And showing you have one makes you the devil,
No one wants to be the devil,
Yet we act evil,
I fear the day when the concept of having a heart extincts,
Because we would be in a world that's filled with demons who are mistaken for angels,
And angels no longer exist.

You said that Im different,
that I'm not the same person you fell in love with,
Yet I never changed,
You were blinded by my perfections,
That you didn't see my flaws,
And just like an artist falls in love with their painting,
You fell in love with the painting you've created of me,
You never did know who I was,
You only knew the person you thought I was.

A cold breeze passes through me,  
It seems it happens everytime you are near,
How can you look so full of life?
When everything inside you is dead,
It's crazy to think that someone who was so close,
Has become so distant,
And someone who left you sweet memories,  
Has become the reason for your pain.

Late at night I lay awake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take,
This world of mine is too much to bare,
These demons of mine don't play fair.

All I ask is for me to depart,
Cause I'm tired of this Life,
It's tearing me apart.

So send me an invitation,
So I can feel a sensation,
I beg of you to end my story.

Sometimes i wonder if your mind holds me dear, as mine does to you
If my smile strucks you, as yours does to me,
It seems it's only when I look into your eyes that I feel happiness
That only your voice can guide me
And only your warmth saves me
I lay down everynight hoping that my melody reaches your heart,
That my words reaches your mind,
That my roses reaches you,
I hope that in the end my gifts are as good as the ones you keep giving me.

Sometimes I wish I can find my monster in the dark places of my room
It's better knowing that it's all in my head
Then to see my monster through a reflection

It's time to wake up,
Watch as the fantasy you've created crumbles
As every painting you've created rips
It's time to wake up,
Look around as you see your beautiful lie become ugly
And your warm summer days become cold winter nights
It's time to wake up,
Hear as the noises of the day transform into the silence of the night
And the once busy streets change into abandon dreams
It's time to wake up,
Because there's no use hiding reality's blows
if it eventually disguises itself,
As the shadows of your lies

When I saw only dark,
you showed me the light
when I can only hear sadness,
you played me a melody
when I had no one around me
you came to me
but now that you're gone if feels like all the  roses you had left
are slowly dying
And I try everyday to keep them alive but they just won't stay
Soon enough all these roses would die and this field would be nothing more then a graveyard full of demons
I guess it's best that I give the roses that you've given me to someone else,
and hope that their graveyard
turns into a field of roses.