Sometimes, the words don’t come.

The consistent stream of consciousness, ceases.

I am left with nothing to say.

There is a beauty in the broken mind.

Like an abandoned building taken by nature.

It is not that my mind does not work.

It is that it works too fast,

And I am left behind,

Scrabbling in the dust,

Desperately seeking a connection,

In the discarded fragments of thought.

I am fighting a losing battle.

I fear the white flag will soon arise.

And signal the end.

I rolled over and the sun skulked through the curtain,
That ****** gap, I knew it would be a burden,
With one eye open I stretched, and reached the ash tray,
My last cigarette, "I might quit today,"
Checking the time,
Quarter past nine,
And again I'm late for work.

Head thumping and regrets from last night,
Makeup down my face, mmm what a sight,
Who was that guy? He's gone anyway,
Probably picked him up on the way,
Jumping out of bed,
Smoke clouding round my head,
I dragged myself to the bathroom.

I promise myself everyday is a new one,
Sitting on the toilet, what have I done?
I dread to check my texts and call log,
I wonder how many people I snogged,
I jump in the shower,
It's now half past the hour,
Shall I just call in sick?

It simply isn't an option,
I need to get up and function,
But everything is a struggle,
I wonder if there's any ***** left I can smuggle,
One more for the day,
I'm not an alcoholic by the way,
It's just a little assistance.

In case you were wondering, I only went,
Out twice this week, all my money is spent,
You can't blame a girl for having some fun,
After all, I worked hard for my sum,
Anyway, I better be gone,
Work have been ringing my phone,
I guess I'll see you next time.

I always found myself checking my phone,
That excitement I felt when you would call,
With you I felt safe, you were like my home,
I was comforted; with you I'd not fall,
But something has changed, you are different,
I do not think that you are right for me,
You don't call as much, maybe I'm distant,
You tell me you love me, but I don't see,
How you could deceive that someone you love,
And I wanted to believe you, trust me,
But it seems that I am not good enough,
You took too long for me and you to be,
A little more than friends with benefits,
Don't call me now when I post glow up pics.

Life hasn't been easy, sometimes it gets really tough,
I grew up in Plymouth, a place that's really rough,
My parents both drug addicts, didn't show me love,
And now I always wonder, if I'll ever be enough.

All the kids at school used to sit and make fun of me,
The girl that always had clothes which were *****,
Then I glowed up, starting growing *****,
Now the same kids wanna slide in my DMs like, "what's new?"

I worked hard just to get where I am,
So please forgive me if I flex on the gram,
Hustle in silence, everyday I grind,
Always made sure that my bills paid on time.

Moved out of home when I was just 17,
Started realising that I could live a dream,
Went from living on the streets,
To paying so all my friends could eat.

I had to grow up fast, so I could see the world,
If I hadn't, sure I'd still be a little girl,
No worries, no stress, no tears in the bed,
Nothing to complain about, no anxieties in my head.

Talking about anxiety, depression and stress,
Let me tell you, I still know how to impress,
Bury the anger, the pain and aggression,
Only thing to shout about is progression.

Enemies of progress, will never see you succeed,
So is that really the type of energy you need,
Started meditating so I could just be free,
Now all these fake ******* tryin' to be me.

I haven't written in a while,
I couldn't think why,
Then I realized,
I am happy.

It seems that my best pieces
Came from the bottom of my heart,
With all my soul
I would write.

It feels like ages since
My last mental health relapse,
And guess what?
I am happy.

On a good day we read down

I am beautiful
You will never hear me say
That I am not worthy
And I know
It may be hard to understand
I tell myself but
It's your problem
You don't see my worth
And I know
It isn't my fault
You will never hear me say
I am ugly


On a bad day we read up

Love (down)

I love you
And you will never hear me say
That I don't
I know
We are meant to be
I can't believe that you think
You're not beautiful
I'm sorry but
You are mine
You can never say that
I'm lying

Evol (up)