Constant frustration and exhaustion occurs when at school
Panic, anxiety, rage, and sorrow
Yet silence is all I project

School is for work, which I am dissatisfied with
I'm a free-spirit, not a soldier of society

Boring, oh so boring!
I have more to believe in life than the standard "school"

School makes me frown, and I constantly look down
But it is the only way out.

-cc

Looking up from a dark, cold well
I see a peak of light up above in a vast distance.
However, seeing the light makes the distance feel shorter.
The light is close, but not in my reach.

Throughout my life I had been pushed closer and closer to the edge of the well, and finally was pushed to the bottom.
Realization soon overcame me.

I must reach the top.
I must fight my way to get there.
I use all my strength to climb the brickwall and am of great distance from the cold, dark ground below me.
However, the light from above keeps getting further and further away as I climb.
I will never reach the top,
But knowing I'm fighting to get there, is all I need to be satisfied.

-cc

There are flapjacks singing in the rain
Elephants who are calling my name
I look over at a kangaroo playing a card game
Am I insane?

Flashy colors with flying llamas
A pink panda, is my mama
I see a dolphin who looks like Obama
I need my salsa

In my car, I see dancing spaghetti
It's moving its noodles, like wobbly jelly

You are reading this, yes I can see
But look around, it's not all what it seems
Psychedelic and hallucinations
It's time for tea,
and celebration

Oh hail! The flying nun!
Here comes the cheetah's run
Never look into the sun
Because that is where this has begun.


-cc

They're going to tell you to not get involved,
they're gonna say it's not your place,
but when you know something is right,
you're going to fight for it with all your might.
No matter what happens,
no matter what they say,
you're going to stick up for what's right
and Fight Fight Fight

-cc

Power is love.

And the love for Power is strong.

Twisted normality of our fate is strong.

And the love to destroy something with power
is stronger.

Secrets The very word triggers a flood of nervous, guilty feelings.
Why?
Do we all hold some sort of deep secret?
We all have them, some have many, while some have just one, but that one
holds more intensity than gravity holding Earth together.

Our own self denial cannot run from this this very word.
We run from lies, love, and pain.
But truth be told,
We cannot even simply run from the word, let alone secrets themselves.

Destroy yourself or heal yourself up, by asking yourself
Why?
Why do I get so anxious about
Secrets?

Guess what? I wanna die, not all the time, but every night.
I love to soar through nature's door, but when society kicks in, I don't anymore

No one can see behind one part of me, and it's sad to say,
Part of me wants it that way
But there's another side, that wants to strive,
Out from the hole
its been it's whole life

And if you're too blind to see, I guess it's all on me.
I'm done trying to show
I just thought you ought to know

But now I'm done, I'll just sail away
And just go back to the struggle of each day.

Don't feel bad, it is what it is,
I was just the girl who fell
into it.

-cc

The mind is what disrupts and corrupts the soul.

-cc

I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of being afraid to spread my wings and fly.
I'm tired of fearing regret and
I'm tired of of feeling regret.

I'm tired of being independent.
I'm exhausted in the most severely way possible,
and I'm tired of getting used to pain & neglect.

-cc

I don't want to belong to anyone,
not even myself.

It's a pretty sad thing
Having to try to contain
High Anxiety

It's a pretty sad thing
Having to deal with someone
Far from who you are
    At times like these

It's a pretty sad thing
When you loose control of
Every emotion known to man
Yet not know the complete cause

Loosing it. Loosing it completely.
But then I ask,
"Have i ever really had it together completely?"

Self control doesn't exist when these outbreaks occur
My mind wanders from every corner
My heart races
My mind spaces

And I have no one to blame
Not even myself.

It's a pretty sad thing

-cc

the sunset is bleeding into the room
all the secrets from within
will make themselves known
when the winter breeze comes
and takes you away

Why can't we go back to the memories that made us blind?
Ignorant, but at least we were happy back then.

Now we know everything and we get sad easily.
Sad over what?
Over the things that were lost from us?
The things that are now lost, are softly remembered as a dream.
A dream that we can never get back again.

It will never come back.
We can't go back.

She did not care.

Why should she?

What's new to make her feel a sudden wave of emotion?

This is the world she is used to, this is the world she has been shaped to know. And to survive for her own well-being, she can't care.

And she won't care.

She won't care because she cares too much.
But obviously she doesn't care enough to not become what the dystopian world wants her to.

You think you can make it Disappear
Lock it up into the highest bell tower, throw way the key;
Erase it- the words from your speech
And pretend it never breathes

By keeping it away, the power grows stronger,
meaner,
But you wouldn't know that.

The girl in the backseat
Wants to eternally leave ,
But you wouldn't know that.

Growing sicker and sicker from the disease,
It's here to stay, It'll never leave
I can hardly breathe!!!!

But you wouldn't know that.
And you don't seem to care to even try to know that.



-cc

A beautiful suicide is what I wish to succeed
Let the Earth take me in as it's own.

It's time to leave my lively throne.

-cc

A scripted scene is what I dream,
and the lines are what I read.

A made up tale is what I fail
to see as make believe.

Everything is forced, and
practiced, and drawn.
What does it feel like,
to sing my own song?

A scripted scene is what I dream,
and the lines are what I read.

Are they blind to what's wrong?
Or is it I who's truly asleep?

It's very important when it doesn't make sense.

When it doesn't make sense, everything is bliss.

Everything is fine when it doesn't make sense.

We miss things but it's okay because it doesn't matter.
And it doesn't make sense.

Everybody loves her
Because of her face and her voice
But maybe it would all be different
If she actually had a choice.



-cc

For once I'd like to walk down a glowing,
Stranded street and not be alone

For once I'd like to see more than what
Is in front of me

I watch people move fast,
Dream big,
And walk.

There I am in the back,
Down and blue,
I don't ever talk ...

But no one has said anything to me
That would allow me to

I have a lot to say, just no one to say it to
No one cares enough

They aren't fascinated enough
Therefore I'm not good enough

Go ahead, ignore me and all my glory

Beautifully swirling
With gratitude
Looking around at all
The warmth from the heart
Has brung

To the table
To under the tree
To the clothes we wear in unison

Looking at all the glistening lights
They shine so bright
So festive and cheery

Family lifting up spirits
When the friends knock them down
True ones there for you
Will show you through actions
By sharing more than material objects

Words and actions
Swirl me into gratitude

There lives a world

Where nights are calm as war

And we have yet to explore

Beyond the biased box.


A violent storm breaking in

And running their home,

Taking everything that,

Even the children own.


Installing fear that none can hear

With their backs to the door,

Discerning false information with only an ear.

No eyes.


Will it ever end? When, why?

Because doves don't exist on either side.

Parfois je me sens que je suis morte dans ce monde.

C'est difficile d'expliquer, mais si je dis ça, la société pensera que je suis folle.

Tout le monde a peur de la vérité.

The sweet serenity
Of sipping hot cocoa
❄️
The joyous laughter
Coming from the screen
❄️
The silly symphony
Echoing from the instruments
❄️
The jazzy chorus
Humming poetry
❄️
The cold winds blowing
The soft snow snowing
All during Wintertime

The sky looks down on me, trying to lift my spirits
What it odes know is that I admire it greatly and that I love it so,
But what it does not know is that no matter what crosses my path, I can
Never truly be happy. Why? I've no idea.
I wish it would go away and leave my presence, but then would my eyes
No longer see poetic wisdom within the standardized society?
I would no longer see or feel the realsm of ones true emotional state.
Why be blinded by a lie? Beautiful, yes- but a lie it truly is.
I'd rather know and accept the tragic truth.
Being overall happy is a goal in which is not in reach and achievable.

-cc

Pain is like a drug

Once you feel it in your body and mind,
You can't get enough.

It's not good, but to you it's enough.

Enough to feel pleasure and validation
Enough to feel some sort of love
Enough to accept over time.

And over time it begins to morph into
what you call your life.

We breathe not with our lungs. But with the wires.

We feel not with our minds, but with the wires.

We love not with our hearts, but with our idols and false illusions, created by the network.

We are in a machine. Welcome to your life.

Everything's fine.

Dreaming of all the great times
Watching rain fall, fall, fall

Wanting it all, reaching out
Watching the clouds seemingly shapeshift

Moving forward in such a manner
Faster than train, higher than a plane

Until

Suddenly the lights come flashing
So quick, breathing is not an option

Was it all for nothing?
Was it for an undetermined legacy?

The lights come flashing
Flashing forever

I never thought I would be one to live through the end.
I thought by the time my eyes were open, it wouldn't come for years,
after my eyes had been long closed.
But in reality, in which i'm living, the end is here,
and I am witnessing it's tainted glory.

Now when I think back, I realize I had been sailing
not only through my years,
but of the years leading up to the complete end.

The loss of time. The loss of the past.

We aren't supposed to not change things, but we don't change what we're supposed to, and we change the things we're not.

  I am witnessing the biggest natural disaster amongst humanity.
Why me? Why now? I had not prepared. Now I'm stuck at a
crossroad because of my lack of preparation.

Sometimes I'd like to die, but i cannot leave this tragic world behind.
I must fight. Not only for myself,
but for what little life is left for this world.

-cc

Go to the place where your dreams lie
Walk upon the steps that will set you free

Others will laugh if you fall
They will ridicule you
AS if they are something greater than human

They are guided by too much sense
And fear

But you can allow yourself
to be persuaded by sheer
Curiosity

What do I feel?

Sometimes I feel like a song
Sometimes a beautiful song, other times an overwhelming wreck of a song

Sometimes I feel superiority to others
Sometimes I feel lower than dirt

Sometimes I'm mellow and monotonous
Sometimes I'm hyper and anxious and paranoid

Sometimes I'm devious, callous, and shallow
Other times I'm sensitive, over dramatic, and emotional

Sometimes I feel none of these, sometimes all.
So when the question is asked, "How do you feel?"

All I can say is:
Nothing. Or . Everything.

It seems fictitious, but it is indeed real.

You can bury people and you can bury treasure
But you'll never be able to bury the truth

Each time you try, it becomes harder to hide
And quicker to realize.

Life is game and without the mind to find
All the things in time, will turn into a lie.

Keep sharing.
Keep sharing it all to the world.
Keep sharing what you don't care.

Keep preaching what you don't know
To people who don't care.

Keep pretending you feel, just to fit in.
Keep pretending everything's OK,
Everyone else does it.

Keep believing what you don't see.

The world is so new
Yet you have lived here before
Your eyes are gold
But your mind is old

Wisdom possess you
Wonder and patience runs through your veins
Your beautiful blue eyes
See more than just the surface

Creative
Intelligent
Innovative
Logical
And
Emotional
Angel of goodness and imagination

Entering my own daydream
Where birds fly with the wind
  When I can be free
And where time has no end

  Sitting with myself with wonder
About the cruel, dull world out there
  Wishing someone will bring thunder
To the quiet planet, the most rare

  Hello, is there anyone like me?
Who sees the world now
  And how the world should be?
If only the one's I want, knew how

  Lost in thought it may seem
But for now, my reality is not a daydream



-cc

How could you say such thing?

Have you forgotten what you experienced?

Deny it all you want now.
But it will catch up to you one day.

And that day will be a disastrous dream come true.

Just wait.

I think I'm insane, but isn't everyone?

If you're not insane, that what value do you have?

It's utter torture dealing with insanity,
But from afar it's quite lovely and cinematic

It's all cool and aesthetic,
Until you're the victim

Struggling like a confused lab rat,
Don't worry you'll adapt to the pain and confusion

But smile for others, you're their show.