Truly blessed
With this fascinating day
Filled with joy, lights and wonder

Delicious food and the comfort of family
Thank you friends, thank you family
And thank you Earth for a joyous
And most cherished
Birthday Celebration

My subconscious is another world
It drags me into the luring apparition of
Love and fear

This world is filled with what I want
At the base of it all
It's another world I'd love to live in

But this earthly world drags me back upon each wakening
The reality of love and fear
But it's not worth it
And it's not what I want

Thus every waking moment
After experiencing my dreams
Is a nightmare, and a torturous reminder
Of what I don't have
And of what I can't feel.

I love you.
But you hate me.

That's fine, because I hate myself, too.

I love not only you, but your hatred towards me as well.

The worst day of my life was when it was ripped away from me.
It was a just a dream but suddenly it was real.

Can I go back?
Can I go back?

I'd give anything to go back.
To relive to very dream that set me free.
But now I'm caged up again.

Can I go back?

It's scary but true that I'd rather die there than live here.

I don't know what to say to them.
All they do is distort my own view.
All they do is try to condemn
My own world that I've created through you.

How could they know what I haven't said?
How could they share what they don't understand?
It makes me want to stop wishing I was dead.
But at the same time, to wish I was under command.

One that's not my own, because when I'm free to my own self,
I reveal too much.

The end will come, and one can only wish it's the end of life.
It is worse.
It is the raging war of pain that will fall upon you.
The day, the moment that will last for what seems like a lifetime.
You'll cry, scream, not care, see things, remember things,
You'll be introduced to the new beginning of pain.
You'll be utterly Insane and it will all be from one being.
You can try to run but you can't avoid that the end is on its way.

I have no freedom.
I have no freedom from the beginning to the end.
The only control I have is what I write through the pen.

I thought I knew how to swim
But I'm drowning.

I don't think I want to even try to save myself
I'm in too deep of an ocean where I've grown comfortable in.

All I do is dream but never try so I deserve this.

sigh la vie
and c'est misery

The life of a shining young star
Would have yet to come so far
If life didn't take her

The dreams of a shining bright sun
Her whole life had yet to come
But the end ended all means

Ignoring the rain drizzling down
Wiping away despair
Allowing distance, drama and reflection
Is a crime

Ignoring the clouds
Forming your heart
Forming your thoughts
Bringing clarity
Wrapped in confusion

Such beauty
Such natural explosions from within
Must not be ignored

Infinite is an endless quantity,
But it is widely known

What I feel, is a feeling too strong

No one can see it,
But all can hear it

No one believes what they can't touch,
But once something touches them,
They're suddenly believers

All we speak, all we write
Is recycled through time

But the feeling,
The feeling we share -
Will always be there

Washed up illusions
Painted by the most insane

They’re floating in a fiery space
Where they’ll never land the plane

Do they even care of
How they are, up there?

They’re drowning oh so elegantly,
Destroying slowly all they meet
Because inside they feel so beat

They are so wrong, can’t you tell?
But whom will truly break the spell?

Alas the last year of this
Dreadful decade
Is coming to an end

Last year was a rollercoaster
Though in the end I realize
I had fun

Not expecting much change
As I feel its not within my range
Though it will be a transitional
And educational year
Spiritually, socially within myself

It's there, I can see it
I can feel it pulling me

Disaster and disappointment
Can only discourage me for so long

Because the sun's radiance is there
I can feel it driving me towards
Success

tous les sentiments sont universels ❄
☽ le passé est dans mon coeur et
❥ mon coeur est dans le passé

Le passé ♔
➶ pas Mon passé
pour le moment ⁎

Look at all He has done.
Look at all He has given you.
Isn't it great?

Look at the opportunity.
Look at the chances.
Look at the memorable moments.
Isn't it all so much?

Do you see all He has done?
Do you forgive Him?

There she is, like a wildflower sitting on top of the world
You can see her, you can breathe her air
But you cannot touch her.

If she didn’t want to be found out
She wouldn’t dangle so close to the ground
Right?

If she allowed me to see her colors, smell the scent
And feel the petals,
She must want me to know more and more.

But I cannot obtain more.

No one seems to care, am I the only one
Who does treat this wildflower in an unheeded manner?

I admire the beauty, the mystery and the brilliance
Coming from this flower.
This is no typical flower, even if it is,
The fact that it is stuck up in the air, is unfair.

I cannot help but desperately crave to bring it down
Bring it down to ground level
And hold it tightly in my hands.

Even though it is out of my reach,
Even though I keep discovering more about this wildflower,
It will never be enough.

I will never learn enough.
I will never stop craving more.

I'm very unstable but everyone knows it's looks that are important

I love the world, even though I've subconsciously made it my enemy.

Behind this madness is a secret
A secret that can only be uncovered
Through a hidden door, past a hidden hallway

Speaking to you, telling you to follow
But not to fall

Behind this madness is a secret.

This rejected validation from those I think I love
Is making me question why I'm even alive.

And who am I alive for?
If I'm living for me then why am I not happy?

Nothing makes sense anymore
But when did it

Don't tell me this isn't a movie.

It is, I just know it.
The characters are all aligned.
Everyone is benign.
Life is divine, and it's a movie.

How could it not be?
The scenes are graphic, the thoughts are real
and the effects are that of, a movie.


I'm not real, but I am real in this movie.
He is a character, she is a character, and we all bond
We all get along and are perfectly placed in the scene,

the scene of this, movie.

All it is a routine.

A routine of shining bright, then dying out.

Feeling it all, to feeling nothing.

Being everywhere, to disappearing to nowhere.

It's a dangerous, addictive routine.

It must be stopped, but alas it lives on.