I know not what I am
But I sure as hell am scared
Sometimes I catch a glimpse
and wish I had not dared.

I haven't been myself I mumbled,
it's been a short 4 years.
Yet everyday I am humbled!
to be honest with my fears!

Surviving off whats left of my self loathing
are the devilish voices that I used to feed.  
Watering my mind's garden is refreshing
and THAT'S the energy that I need!

I don't want to be made
to feel broken
For wearing my heart out on my sleeve.
Stop making me feel broken
for wearing my heart out on my sleeve.
But I would like to thank you

For making me feel complete.

I have finally noticed

That I am all that I need.

be with someone who starts a fire
brings the kindle
glows when you are near
and brags about your warmth
not someone who retreats
when you crackle

be with someone who wants to sink deeper
than the choppy surface
behind your sarcasm
beyond the distance
and still sees your worth
not someone whose scared
by your preferences

i am washing my face
he still wont look at me
i am dancing to his music
he still wont look at me
i am timidly talking to him
he still wont look at me
i am watching him talk with you
he watches you so carefully
i wonder what he sees
when he holds your gaze considerably

when I say
I want to run away
please take me seriously
when i say i feel alone
please reassure me i am not
lately I am trapped like a dog
inside myself
no love gets past this cage
I don't deserve it anyways
the voices yell
and my doubt lends an ear
when I joke this is it I'm going to leave!  
simply tell me
don't?
please, stay awhile?
Wake me up to the harsh reality
that people care and I am not alone.
when I show up for you,
and they open the door
isn't that all the reassurance you need?
Tell me
don't be silly and ask them to chase after you
because it is only your doubt that will follow