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Darling please don't leave my side,
For night is drawing near,
And I've nowhere to hide.

My demons are coming out to play.

They come out slowly, one by one,
And play until the rising sun.
You see, they dance, dance, dance,
Leaving me in a morbid trance.
You see, they sing, sing, sing,
Until I lose control of my breathing.

They push, push, push.
And they shove, shove, shove,
And they scream, scream, scream,
Until they get bored and leave.

They come again with blades
And soothing words
"This will help"
"It'll all be over soon"
Then they cut, cut, cut
Until they've had enough.
Then they kiss away my tears
And say "sleep tight"
"We'll be back tomorrow night"
when you ask me: how do you feel?
what i say is: I'm good, how are you?
when i really mean: I'm scared. of loosing the fight,
i  feel hopeless, i almost lost last night.

when you ask: do you want to eat?
what i say is: no I'm not hungry. i had a big lunch
when what i really mean is: yes. i haven't eaten in days.
please tell me to eat because i will if you tell me to.

when you say: you look sad, are you aright?
what i say is: yeah I'm fine. i just finished a sad book.
when what i mean is: no. I'm not. please help me because
i feel lost. and alone. I'm scared.

when you ask me: why don't you smile more?
i say: i don't know
but i really mean: i feel to alone to smile.
and i don't have the energy to.

when you ask me: what wrong?
all i say is: nothing
but inside I'm screaming: i feel like i can't breathe.
the sun is to bright it hurts my eyes. can you help me?

so listen to my words and if i ever say: I'm alright
know that I'm most definitely not alright.
its okay its not your fault you didn't hear
i hid my thoughts
but i live in fear.
yeah this happens on a daily basis
I ran out of tears to cry
So I cried my blood
I'm sorry
upside down
twisted round
problems weighed
yet gravity held me

blue eyed babe
with arms out wide
no reason to hide
you held me tighter

recalling a feeling
to never feel again
you took it away
with the simplicity of a kiss

the flutter in my chest
you are responsible
so I'm going to ask
*is this what love is?
Christmas time again,
Time for joy, and time for love.
Time for peace, and time for a holiday feast.
Tis the season.

But...
For me, it's time for...
heartache, and depression.
Time for brokenness, and hopelessness.

Family troubles, money tight,
frustration, crying...
it's all the same...
Christmas isn't a movie for me.

Filled with memories,
from Christmas past,
trying to forget,
yet here it is again...

Every year we try,
and maybe we'll get it right,
maybe, it'll be ok...
maybe... It'll finally be Christmas to me.
What can you say?
When you love someone
Who hurts themselves

            I'm here for you.

                I love you.

                    It will be okay.
i love you sweetheart
No
No I'm not doing it because everyone else is
No I'm not wrong
No I'm not worthless

No I don't want your pity
No! shut up!
No I'm not "sad"

No I'm not broken, I'm just different
No you don't know me
No! *******!

No I know what I am
No! ***** you!
No I don't want to be perfect for you
yeah no
#no
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