i want to be the goddess that i know is within me, but i feel like just another blurry face, a passerby on a crowded sidewalk
i want to display unconditional love and understanding because that's all i've ever wanted shown to me
there are so many beautiful things that i want to say, but i'll cry if I say them
their beauty overwhelms me
that's the effect I want to evoke
like a garden angel, the light I shed will illuminate all shadows that meet me
my voice will flow gracefully and gently like honey
people will shield their eyes from my beams, but i'll soon make them able to face anything
the warmth within my heart will be powerful enough to spread to others, and their warmth will spread too until there is peace or at least piece of mind

ending things before the begin
shutting people out before they get a shot at getting in
there's this piece of me
that's scared of everything
and she's ruinin it for all of me
I'm scared to look but I wanna see
all that I'm running from
how bad can it be?
I'm a let it all catch up with me
baby keep runnin
one of these days I'll tell you everything
one of these days I'll give you all of me

talk to me, i say
but what is not said is what matters most
respond in ways that suit me
without any hints
keep your interest
and don't forget

my silent demands,
hidden motivations,
and careful, sweet inception

i mean no harm, always with some form of a smile
don't want you too reeled in,
but never detach completely
and never grow sick of it

if i keep up my end,
i think you'll stay
both of us working out of fear
neither of us knowing the other's intentions,
always coming back for more
of what we do not understand

i tell secrets in the form of poetry
each of my subjects is a special fruit hanging from the limbs of my mind
once they become too heavy, i must pick them,
tear them open, and reveal their matter before they become spoiled
not for the world to see, but more so for my own relief
i'll place my subject right in front of me for dissection,
but only when it's ripe and i am fully ready
my subject transforms from a drunken pith into a gem,
from a simple thought into a sonnet
this form of expression is the only thing keeping me from endless suffering
writing frees the subject without its knowledge,
and it frees me from having to protect it any longer
for it is a burden with which i have a sporadic love affair

let's sit across from each other
lay down our weapons and shields consisting of words and see what the silence makes of us
see what truths surface
maybe we'll stifle a laugh at first-
a natural awkward reaction to the taboo act of staring at someone without reason or explanation
to look directly into someones eyes to (if nothing else) reassure them of  their own existence
to remind them that they are seen
and so pass the first thirty seconds
two hundred and ten more beautiful horrible seconds that unfold themselves between us
and once they past we are again allowed access to the gift that is expression
to communicate, talk, listen, laugh, cry, ask, answer

but what if when the silence ended
when the honesty presented itself?
when we were stripped bare; made simple?
what if after all the wordlessness and contemplation there was nothing left to say?

If our bones are,
Made of stardust,
Our hearts must,
Be made of something
More.
Perhaps within us,
We each have,
A beating star.