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I remember that it hurt, seeing you hurt.
These lives we lead so different but intertwining;
Each filled with its own pain and anguish.
I don't want it to hurt.
I just want everything to be the way it was before
When I was slowly falling for you
When there wasn't a care in the world
There was only you & I
But right now,
everything hurts.
Being with you hurts.
 Jun 2014 C Michael Higgins
Akemi
Swore I felt your flesh
Push through my dreams
Your gums soft against my tongue
Metal braces tearing through me

A phantom residue
From the crawlspace of my mind
An unconsciously yearning
For love
No longer mine

How the **** can I move on?
With the scent of your breath
Lingering in morning mist

How the **** can I move on?
With the sweat of your skin
Soaking my fingertips

This ache is unbearable
11:21pm, June 22nd 2014

A recurring dream of mine,
or maybe a memory.
My spirit is one that has been through much.
My eyes have witnessed too many tears.
My heart has ached, and felt like granite.
My soul is imprisoned by good and evil.

And, yet I feel a spiritual need to cling to hope.
Spirituality is there for those who have been to Hell and back,
(So they say)
I've glimpsed Hell in my family, through secrets and lies,
they multiply, until you lose count.

Now, I wasn't beaten, molested or deprived,
I just had to live in a village where everyone knew everything.
About you, your family, your soul. Imagine that.
No freedom to be unique. To be you.

You kick, you scream, you try to be free, to flee,
but, the village brings you back,
time and time again.
It feeds off your fear, your hate.

Village life is not quaint, picturesque,
or even idyllic, it's full of grudges,
jealousy, hate and even ******,
(or two)

Families feuding over long forgotten grudges.
Families related, through marriage and hate.
Families haunted and taunted by their past.
Families dying with secrets on their lips, and in their hearts.

Along with this came religion,
as many chapels as pubs.
And as many ghosts as the living.
Walk through my mind, walk through my village.

Come, meet the dead
© JLB
21/06/2014
you left a massive impact on me.
i have scars of both the mental and physical variety from you.
i fell too hard and too fast.

why am i falling again?
why do i want to see you?
why do i want to apologize?

i hate that i miss you.
i hate that i think you're a monster.
i hate that you hate me.
The stardust would settle
The moon and the sun would become one
I hope all my questions have found the answers
The day I would evaporate into the skies
The day this soul of mine would become an ***** of nature
The day darkness would settle onto me
The day my bones are ashes
The day I would get all that I have been asking for
Silence, darkness, peace.


I would still live on
This heart would beat forever
The rhythmic melody would still play
Like a faint radio tape behind my cold mind
I would still be painting colors behind my closed eyes
I would still cry a million times
I would still greet you your first good morning
My soul would still find shelter in you
Even buried under this earth I would breath
Because these make me who I am.
Blindfolded I look forward
To the blessings of death
Beyond my ignorance
There nothing left...
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