The astral bowl was full of green smoke,
the tin roof, the fairy-light canopy;
two friends suffered in greed.
The backwater shed,
a monument of beer cans
blow listless on the lawn.

One says,
"I have not given up on my dreams
I have grown tired of sleeping through them."

The other, an insomniac, glistens:
"Merrily, Merrily, merrily, merrily..."

The television was on mute.
A flag assembles from the garments
retrieved at the end of the war.
A red-eyed stare
as they lament
the dried rivers in the carpet.

One says,
"There are eyes on me all the time
so I drink myself blind after work."

The other, a pessimist, decrees:
"you drink to steel yourself for the cliff-face-
no idea where you are going."

The sky was granite
as they ****** outside.
One turns to the other and says:
"I try to live an honest life
but it always feels like a lie."

The other, still *******, replies:
"we keep our secrets close to our person.
Now please - tuck yours back inside."

The pressure’s building up
I feel like soda that’s been dropped.
I feel like I’m about to explode
And I know that soon I’ll pop.

I know what’s about to happen
And I need to escape this room.
Where I go, I don’t know.
But I need to flee the impending doom.

I need to get to the clinic.
There I know I’ll be fine.
They always knows what to do;
But can I make it in time?

But no, it’s too late.
My soda bottle has blown.
I am no longer able to move, for
The seed of anxiety has grown.

Now I’ve collapsed, and
My rational side has died.
I can’t handle this-make it stop!
My strength is again being tried.

All the techniques I’ve memorized
Have completely flown my mind.
All the things I have prepared
Are suddenly unable to find.

“Don’t forget to just breathe!”
Ah, yes, the mantra of those “helpful” ones.
Well, here’s a newsflash for you-
Being told that helps NONE!

My lungs are overworking now,
And my heart is beating fast.
And every single breath I take
I fear it might be my last.

My hands have spiders in them.
My brain has gone offline.
My vision’s getting foggy;
Please- just don’t pass out this time.

My mind is leaving my body
And it’s floating freely in air.
I’m no longer able to feel anything
Please help me; I’m so scared.

Now I’m descending back to my body
And I can feel every atom around me.
It’s too much-make it stop!
Why can’t anybody hear my plea?

Luckily I calm down
Before my monster gets his way.
He’s returning back to hiding now
But I know he’ll soon come back to play.

I love, I am , I desire, I.                   I hope, I pray , I need,I
Love.                            W.             E.                                See
        I.                 ­              I.             V.                                  I
         Am.                            L.   O.                                Know
              I           ­                     L.                                     I
               Desire.                                                      Feel­
                         I                                                        I
      ­                    Will.                                       Love
                                I.                          ­              I
                                 Have        You        Fear

Rest in peace, my darling.
                            Sometimes I feel that we should wait.
                            Just a second, hesitate.
                            One more moment, contemplate,
                            The inevitable that is destined to us.
Rest in peace, my darling.
                            I wish I hadn't, Pain, invite
                            Freely in a fiery thought
                            A life anew, a love, ignite
                            In that first new friend I sought.
Rest in peace, my darling.
                            Before we plead and seal our fate,
                            Let memory briefly resonate.
                            On others, lost at last, too late.
                            To deter our hearts from another's future.
Rest in peace, my darling.
                          But then, I think no new regret
                          Could wish your existence never in mine.
                          For though there is pain, newly beset,
                          I cherish the happiness since whence we met.
Rest in peace forever, my darling.

I pinned my hair in curls tonight
It took an hour or two
But when I wake and undo my work
I'm not dolled up for you

Because the blush on my cheeks
Is not made of powder
The pigment on my skin
Is composed of anger
And contempt for you
Where there used to be love
Is a constant fight
My heart is an open space
An area that I'm not sure
That I want you to occupy
Anymore

You pushed me past my pushing point,
I won't ever let you through
So now don't you see? Reality?
I'm dressed for me, not you.

Her eyes had cast down,
burning into the tiles below,
I didn't know white linolium flecked with black spots could be so interesting.

But to her they were.

To her it was more important,
to prove how much I meant,
by showing interest in a
dirt smudged walkway,
over sharing a passing glance at me.