this is you
and this is me
and this is us

this is the late night phone calls
about futures we are too sure of
the midnight drives
across miles we aren't scared enough of

the butterfly kisses
the chubby cheek kisses
the french kisses
on your bed

this is every night
I've called you crying
because my sister is too sick
to function normally

this is every day
you've called me fuming
because your dad makes you madder than you've been in months

this is you
this is me
this is us

this is the feeling I get in my gut
when you tell me you love me
this is the calm that takes over me
when your lips are pressed to mine

this is the tears that well in your eyes
when you look at me for too long
this is the quickness of your pulse
when my hands are in your hair

this is the closeness I feel to you
and you to me
the understanding we share
the laughs
the tears
the beauty
the bad

you, me, us, we
we are not our distance
we are not the miles between us
we are not the doubt
the fear
the complications

we are friendship
we are love
we are us

this is you
this is me
and this is us

I have seen sunsets
lovelier than you,
and you are not as
powerful as the ocean;
and cheesecake tastes sweeter
than your lips,
your hair does not quite
outshine the sun,
and a light breeze in May
is gentler
than your gentle hands.
I love the sound of your voice,
but there are symphonies
lovelier,
and the words of Neruda
are more well-versed
than any that you've spoken;
and yet,
your inadequacy leaves me
enchanted
like nothing in this world,
and I wouldn't live
or die
for sunsets and rhymes
but I'd live and die for you;
there is nothing
in this world
that I'd compare you to, and
some things are more beautiful,
but they don't mean as much.

I'm not supposed
To want to kiss your lips
& make sure happiness
Finds it's way to your day.
Giving you romance tips
Between my acid trips
& pretending
It's all okay.
Because it's wrong.
I'm not right.
And now I'm off
On a different flight
Descending
Burning
Rotting in hell.
& I don't know
If you could tell
But I'm pushing up daisies
Maybe I'm crazy
Just because I want you
To call me your baby

the problem is I can't.
I can't trust anyone.
I have issues going across railroad tracks without making sure once, twice, three times that a train isn't coming.
when I muster up courage to look in a full body mirror, which isn't often, I check my reflection five times to make sure a scar isn't visible.
when I read ten word poems, I count each and every word seven times.
so why would I trust him when there is no proof to check nine times?