I know there are millions of you
That do not want to think about things
Like politics, politicians and rules;
The boring stuff those discussions bring.
You’d rather watch the game and while
You drink your beer and sit and cheer
And love whoever you want to love
And hate who you like to hate and jeer.

Hey Hey Hey
USA USA USA

But the big problem in this country
Is that there are people out there
Who will take advantage of that and
Steal every dime you have to spare.
They will lie to you and steal from you
And legislate away your rights gleefully
Because they know what you are feeling
And use it against you shamelessly.

Hey Hey Hey
USA USA USA

They are very happy that you don’t
Want to be bothered with all that.
So when this country slides down
Down the tubes we'll all tip our hat
And remind you what you did to help;
You did absolutely nothing. You played
While adults around you did the work.
Now you raise your kids the same way.

Hey Hey Hey
USA USA USA

Sometimes I just have to admit it.
Things are happening and I don’t get it.
What the hell is going on here?
Is an explanation from anyone near?
It makes a kind of sense, if you squint
But soon it caroms off on another bent.
I mean, it’s all in my native language, true,
But so much of it feels like visiting a zoo.

My life can turn into a monkey house
And without a decent kind of warning
And suddenly I’m dealing with issues
That weren’t there in the morning.
Some batch of politicians on the right
Are busily trying to steal my serenity
And maybe even trying to imprison me
And at least take away my dignity.

They say they are doing all of this
In the name of holy Jesus Christ
But it still works as a ripping off,
And an indecent but legal heist.
I may not be an attorney myself
But I was also not born last Tuesday.
These rotten scalawags in suits
Are trying to take my rights away.

It makes a kind of sense, if you squint
But soon it caroms off on another bent.
I mean, it’s all in my native language, true,
But so much of it feels like visiting a zoo.

It always amazes me that these jerks
Somehow manage to sleep at night
Because it’s plain enough to see
That what they do really isn’t right.
For example, for two hundred years
It was legal here to own negroes.
But that it was an sickening atrocity
Was as plain as their white nose.

But they held cotillions and soirees
And treated slaves like breeding stock
And sold off the black babies which
Seemed to happen around the clock
Because it made sense to these Christians
To ignore everything that Jesus said
And treat these people barbarically
From their birth until they were dead.

Sometimes I just have to admit it.
Things are happening and I don’t get it.
What the hell is going on here?
Is an explanation from anyone near?

There are plenty of modern references
Like treating immigrants as villains
When every white person in the USA
Were immigrants, most of them willing.
But rich people here are so upset
That these people are not the right kind
And that gives the rich white people
An excuse for them to be rude and unkind.

I could go on and on with this complaint
For pages and chapters without end.
I’m still waiting for someone to tell me
“Enough! We conservatives agree and say 'When!'”

I don’t want to play in your yard
I don’t want you to play in mine.
I know this is going to make you angry
For me that will work out just fine.
You don’t know how to play with others
And don’t know how to have any fun.
If ever there was a big doody brain
Look in a mirror because you are one.

If we don’t play the game so you win
You want to pout and whine to us all.
Too many times you have thrown big tantrums
And when you left you tried to take the ball.
Or you threw it so far away we had to run
To get it and bring it back to the game.
Every time we tried to give you a chance
Everything turned out exactly the same.

You don’t know how to play with others
And don’t know how to have any fun.
If ever there was a big doody brain
Look in a mirror because you are one.

We all believe your parents are the reason
You can’t handle the way life really is.
You’re fine as long as you are winning
You crow and brag you’re an amazing ****.
That’s not what happens in the real world;
Things do not always go your way.
So, now you have to deal with the facts.
None of us care to ask you to play.

I don’t want to play in your yard
I don’t want you to play in mine.
I know this is going to make you angry
For me that will work out fine.

****** rednecks and tabloid editors,
Choosing a big-mouthed wussy,
Voted into office a ****** predator who
Brags he grabs women by the *****.
He goes on and on about himself
Blows that he is highly educated
He only tells lies, braggadocio, or
Unpresidential rot that is R-rated.

He boasted he could shoot
Someone dead in the street
Even that ugly deed would
Not cause his defeat.

It turned out to be
Unfortunately true!
That’s the kind of thing
Ignoramuses will do:
They vote some dingaling
No matter how disgusting
And decide this grifter
Is definitely worth trusting.

He's just bright enough to see
That suckers love a good show
So he’ll dance and sing to them
For three and a half years or so.

He said he keeps the best
People to back up his boasts,
And when he chooses one
His accomplices all toast.
It won’t be very long until
As his TV show has inspired,
He’ll open that ugly mouth
And snarl out “You’re fired!”

He knows he can keep on
In his lucrative term of office
If he just keeps the rich happy, and
Fools who can’t see he’s bogus.

He’s busily going about
Taking the rights of the poor
And wadding all of them up
Then kicking them out the door.
The only people he wants to succeed
Are him and those ***-kissers
Who hang with him out of greed.

He's just bright enough to see
That suckers love a good show
So he’ll dance and sing to them
For three and a half years or so.

You are a 2017 conservative?
And proud.
A dedicated believer in Jesus?
I say it loud!
You believe in the Constitution?
As far as it goes.
Is there something wrong with it?
Every Conservative knows.

What would you change if you could?
We’d throw out foreigners.
But weren't all Caucasians foreigners once.
Don’t be a dunce.
But, we were. We came from Europe.
That’s just an excuse.
You doubt what I just said to you?
No, but it’s a ruse.

In what way is what I asked a ruse?
It doesn’t fit the issue.
So, equality for everyone is no good?
It’s as thin as tissue.
There are people who are less deserving?
You **** right.
Like who? (I find this all most unnerving.)
Anyone who isn’t white!

So, just the white people in our land?
You got it now.
Doesn’t the Constitution say they are equal?
That’s for those who bow.
Bow to who? Of who do you approve?
Christian Whites, of course!
And the rest can just go die or move?
I’ll say it until I'm hoarse.

It seems that you don’t approve of this country?
Just the government.
But, isn’t it built to serve and protect all of us?
That’s not what they meant!
The founding fathers didn’t mean all of us?
No, they meant Christian Whites!
And what about the rest of us citizens?
You were never supposed to have rights.

So, non-Caucasians are God's only people?
That's what I said.
But Jesus was a Jew, and not a Causasian.
Put that out of your head.
But you wouldn't let him have any rights today?
Jesus would see into my heart.
I wonder if he heard all this, what he would say?
You think you're so smart!

The Talking **** is babbling
He’s not quite capable of reason.
He’s busy patting his own back
Every day, every month and season.
The Talking **** is assuming
As usual that we can’t think.
But we know for a certainty
That a talking **** still stinks.

The Talking **** is promising
All the miracles he will perform.
He’ll take credit from others
After all, that’s his norm.
He’ll put down the good efforts
Of those who came before
Who actually did the good work
While he worked on his golf score.

The Talking **** is not required
To make very much good sense.
He has his Nazis beside him
And a crowd of the politically dense.
He says what he knows pleases
Those who are not quite bright.
He chants the hateful dogma
Adopted by fools on The Right.

How are things at the country club?
Was the glitter group too much?
Was that hot young rock star there?
Did you try to get in touch?
Did you catch the ear of
That famous new playwright?
Did the paparazzi catch your act?
Did you do your thing tonight?


Who got mad and who got drunk?
Give me all the dirt.
Who got ****** and struck a blow
And, oh yes, who got hurt?
You see now I understand;
I’m your after dinner lover.
When you’re going somewhere publicly
You find yourself another.

And I guess that’s just not good enough
To keep me satisfied.
To be the after dinner rose
You tried so hard to hide.
So call up Central Casting
And find yourself another.
For I am not content to be
Your after dinner lover.