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Brenda Mukisa Apr 2018
I guess I've dreamt of you for as long as I could read.
So I imagine you.
Large old buildings. Chilly weather practically all year
Amazing accents. Amazing places to see and belong
Probably amazing people....
A place so written about with rich amazing history.
Please let me see you.
Let all roads lead to us
Let us happen in this life time.
If even in my sleep I'd still say London.
Brenda Mukisa Apr 2018
I am looking for fast love
the kind that touches me and tingles spread
the kind that smiles and I can not not smile back
the kind that laughs loudly with me over funny stuff
or holds me tight on cold nights
or just because he can
the kind that gets matching tattoos and stays
the kind that kisses me with need and want
in between ice cream with cold lips
or on hot days when we think no one is watching
the kind that makes breakfast with me on weekends
in pajamas or just his shirt
we can watch movies all day with his hand over me
small or deep kisses anytime whenever
calls to say they miss you because they did not see you last night
eats out of the box and drinks wine from the bottle on lazy nights with me.
says they love me sincerely and I see it in their eyes
I do not know how long I have got here.
so a fast love is all I have time for
meet me, hear me, know me, understand me and love me quickly
a fast love is all I have got time for
loveme, lovemwa and love ME.
Brenda Mukisa Apr 2018
You are,
Mother of mine.
So small yet so wise
worrying about small things too much
perfect must be perfect for you to appreciate
you'd build a mountain out of nothing in every sense
you've loved me proudly, fiercely and protectively

Worrying about me on days I choose not to notice
having all the hope in the world in me
you belive in me
but above all... you wish me too much best.

Mother of mine
she dances on busy streets when she is happy
holds information of bigger towns in a small town
smiles wholly
tells every one who cares to listen that I will visit
stays up all night waiting for me.
And sits with me till the sleep comes for me.
takes time off to hang with me all day

Mother of mine
I will try my best to love you as much as I know how
I wish to hold your tender small body and hug you forever
pour all my love to you
to show you how much I love and care for you.
I may not scream it, but I love you.
Dearest mother.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
Met
I met you.
you walked in, perfect sense of style and classy phone
your big beard didn't make sense to others but did to me
it seemed to make you so male and perfect and I liked that.
I didn't see you as perfect, I just saw you as mine possible.
the kind of attraction didn't make sense to me either
I cannot point out what I loved most about you.
I just loved you with a love so gentle, perfect and innocent.
I think I'm over you until I remember you and sometimes it feels like I will always be gripped.

I met him.
He walked through the corridor.
with his hat on, full jumper, jeans and African print back pack.
he looked perfect in his shorts...had your sense of style.
but most importantly, he had your beard.
then he removed his sweater and showed his tattoos.
he smoked like a chimney and drunk enough not to get high.
I always hated the smell of cigarettes until I met him
maybe it was the way the smoke mixed up with his cologne.
giving him his unique scent that I hold onto on a t shirt in my closet.
I couldn't wash it in case I lost that scent, so I just kept it.
one meeting, many hugs, one kiss one night....
and he was gone too.... forever

I met you through another
its what I tell my self because I cannot seem to forget you both
the guys with the beard.
you made me look at beards different.
he added tattoos and cigarettes to the list.....

I miss you both.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
i.   the first time I saw you, you sat on the floor
at my house, I'd never met or seen you.
You smiled and said my name, then my sister's.
you seemed like the kind of person that belongs.
that fits perfectly and can be held onto.

ii.  we were perfect, making merry and laughing at things
it looked bright for the both of us.
that first night, we promised each other that we could always work it out.
no matter how rough it could ever get.
if only we had seen us now.

iii.  you jeer at everything I do or say.
according to you I am mean and unloving, disrespectful even.
according to me you are selfish, mean, bad hearted, bad mannered, uncultured, disrespectful, childish, unforgiving, filled with anger and jealousy, not moral-ed ..... and all the things I shouldn't have ever met.

iv.   its because of people like you that unmeet buttons should have existed.
Hate is a strong word, but sometimes I feel it when I think of you.
I have been feeling terrible these past few weeks because of someone in my life.....just had to vent here.
i. the world doesn’t know what time is. it has no sense of lovers falling apart after 3 years of loving. it doesn’t feel the clocks turning or the people ageing. it lives in a quiet routine of breathing and sighing its discontent into the oceans and into its angry volcanos. and it continues turning without the notion that its rock show age far before its waters do.

ii. do you regret what decisions you’ve made? looking back, i really wasn’t the one for you. but that doesn’t mean i didn’t try my hardest to believe we were all that existed. when you look in the mirror, does your reflection let you know that you’ve lost a little too much? I could have told you that myself.

iii. dogs like dying alone. it’s some sort of ancient pack instinct. weakness is hidden, death is quiet and discreet. i wonder if that’s why people start separating themselves before they shut off. death is a lonely thing. especially when all you have is yourself. the least you could let me do is hold your hand.

iv. you left me in a few short words and a text. you didn’t come visit me. you didn’t even give me the half-hearted dignity of a phone call. were you with her as you broke my heart? was she dousing you with shots of whiskey, telling you that it was the right thing? if you got closure, then at least one of us got what we wanted.

v. i’ve never been left behind by a bus or anything. i don’t miss my opportunities very often. but you were the first thing to ever leave me behind. even when i yelled and waved my arms. i’d never missed an opportunity until i started missing you.
Things that nobody talks about:
The desperation of loving someone who doesn't love you
How the sun feels warmer when you've spent a year being cold
The feeling of weightlessness after crying yourself to sleep
When he stares long and hard at you and smiles softly, making your eyes feel shy even when you are not
How people who used to exist in your orbit still take chunks off of your surface, even when you've taken so many hits you hardly exist.

Things that nobody talks about:
Even when you've moved on, even when you've found someone who loves you more, even when you've discovered better things, your skin remembers things best forgotten.
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