there’s more out there
more to everything
I know it, I feel it, I long for it
To have it and hold it in fullness
Not for just a short second to have it fly away
Like a feather in the wind

The trees are hiding it in their roots
The ocean is hiding it in the waves
The sky is hiding it in the clouds
The earth is hiding it in the mountains
And God is keeping it hidden inside of me

I cant see It but I know its there
For I have felt its fleeting presence
In dreams
Music
Art

What is the emptiness that takes us after we see hear and feel something wonderful
After it ends
I don’t believe in temporary
I don’t believe in a rush that ends
A plant that dies
A beauty that is destroyed
An innocence that is lost

There is something out there
A deep indescribable something
Waiting for me to take hold of it
A constant force that breathes likes my lungs
Beats like my heart
And lives like my soul

An all encompassing
Never ending
Unbreakable
Incomprehensible
Peace

That is what is waiting for me
Oh my soul how it groans
How it pains and aches
How it cries out from within me
Asking for sweet release
Each day growing louder
Stronger
And more painful
all for this

I want more
No, I need more
I need more or I die
I need more or there is no point
I need more or there is no purpose
I need more or there is no sense
No sense to anything I do

I must live a life that is more
And if I do not
Then I am ruin
My passion is lost
And I have failed the call of my heart

Lord, let me be more
Or let me die

I love you like a single drop of rain
The ones on cloudless days
The ones you never expect
Of all the places I could fall
I fell into your hands

And you looked up and wondered
where could that have come from
but I looked down and sighed
where could I ever go
but into your hands

Oh I am tired of soft words
I want to yell and scream and curse
I want my heart on the wind
Not inside my foul chest

All my thoughts and pains
Pressed in, pushed down and falling over
Struggling to find space to rest
like a subway with no exits

the panicked mothers’ child cries for all to hear
with no one kind enough to let her sit
and comfort the innocent cries of her babe

the constant chatter and commotion
of all the people, and all the languages
so many words said
and so few understood

the pushing, shoving and pulling
all for the golden prize that has become the seat
if only to sit and rest

all my thoughts and pains
warring for a place to sit
but there is no place
there are only the doors
the doors which never open

There you are
Finally, I see you
I’ve been waiting for this moment
How foolish was I
Thinking you were so far away
When you were always there
I was just too blind

Blind to the restless earth
As it cried out for me
Asking for my hand
To only reach out
And touch it, feel it
Breathe it
Yes I think to myself
This is who I am

I just want to feel the wind on my face
Feel the soft touch of your breath on my neck
To move my eyes
As they glide from the untouched landscape
From the silent trees and still waters
Into the deepest peace I know
found in your eyes
The love of my heart for you

See me true for who I am
For all the strange and lovely things
the things that scare us all
and that bring us to our knees
all that I feel
All the things I feel for you
My love  
How id love you to know

So just let go
And dive into my presence
There are no walls to break
No boundaries to cross
All you need to do is jump
And I will receive you completely
I will love you infinitely
I will show you what it means
To love