You have cut me up
and placed me beside other
shinier, redder apples.
you've given disapproving glares
and shaken your head,
arms akimbo.

You're trying to keep me in a box,
away from the "dangerous" world outside
but then you'd shake your fists
at my browning flesh
and putrid body.

I'm just an apple.
Why can't you see me for what i am?
I'm not the biggest
nor the juiciest.
I have yellow spots on my skin
and bruises on my flesh.

Why don't you love me?
Why can't you stop
comparing
and judging
and complaining?

You are my apple tree.
you made me.
Why can't you see
I'm trying
to be the best apple
that i can be?

It's not enough.
it's never enough.

I'm. Not enough.
and i never will be.

i missed that
tiny white pill
it stops
me from chattering.
i tremble without it
buzzing.

you might
perceive me
as still
but i am erratic.
shivering.
tiny white pill
stopping the

wide eyed
teary
expression.

it keeps me
kissing you
it keeps me
sane.
it lets me dance

but you
make me sing.

are you
a tiny
white pill?

Just ten minutes was enough
To build up the longing
That would last, and definitely hurt
While I wait for you to return

It was so innocent, so gentle, so pure
Just a simple lean and I knew for sure
I needed, wanted, yearned for more
I wanted to see what life had in store

You asked me a question, just a mischievous thing
But it came out and I started thinking
Turning and looking at your face (I nearly wanted to run)
Elbowed you gently, smiled and said 'this one'

Perhaps one day I would look back
And see that was when it had just begun
Maybe one day I will turn to you and say
You are the one

I'm sorry, I drank all your sake
Again, I left you some money
    On the desk - I'll be gone in the morning
      Like the rain.

You have always forgiven - forgotten
  A tinture of both mixed in the palette
    of your heart withstanding
      Me.  My black swathes

Of Beauty and Pain. You conceive
  What I feel when I glance
    At the flowers I trampled
     With my boots

Yes, I've been meaning to buy you flowers
  But it's too cliche - too conventional
   For our approximations of love
    Like cherry blossoms in the wind

So instead, I drank all your sake. I'm sorry
   Again, I left you some money
    On the desk - I'll be gone in the morning
     Like the rain.