i always seem to be sitting
in the middle of intersections
like a traffic light that hasn't
hung itself yet, always
seem to be waiting in the
middle of the ghost town
of where our love was first
built. there's a hospital
down the road where the
waiting room chairs are
much more morbid than
the hospital beds and
every electric heart rate
line sitting on the screen
of the heart monitors flatten,
make long beeping sounds
like an alarm clock, like a
wake up call; they make
long beeps like the ringing
i hear inside of the phone
when i call the owner of
the voice mail i've seem to
have made a home out of.
they took every place
we kissed and turned it into
a church that closes on
Sundays and holds a choir
full of people that lost their
voice in their own war. i've
been in the line for the
confessional for about two
years now because every
time i go up to say how
badly i want you to feel it
back, i let the girl wearing
your t-shirt cut in front of
me. the sidewalks only
seem to crack when they
remember how it felt
when you walked on them,
when you gave the ground
its purpose. one of these
nights the traffic lights will
come to their senses,
drop into the intersection
and crumble right next to me
because it's not like they have
anything to stop or at least
slow down because this is
a ghost town, & nothing is coming back.

You may not have been birthed in the soil,
and granted,
you will not blossom
when spring melts winters wake
but inside of you
grows a thousand gardens
full of exploding stars.
You are of the earth
and your ashes
have been constructed with stardust,
and set free with the wind.
So you may not have a pretty face,
and your body may hold stories
of too many moonless nights alone.
But if you reach inside,
you will find a forest
for a ribcage
and a restless ocean heart.
So don't ever let anyone tell you
you are nothing.
You are a galaxy
holding a million different planets,
and my dear,
that is not nothing.

11:16 PM
each time i attempt to sleep, each time
i try to push and shove the thought of you out of my head, i fail. miserably.
1:27 AM
every moment spent with you engulfs my brain. every smile, every laugh we shared, the time you first asked if you could kiss me. an ocean full of memories i'm drowning in.
2:01 AM
i realize my days and nights have lingered on for weeks now and still you aren't here, nor anywhere near. still you are away. still you are there. while i remain here, in this bed, hopelessly missing you. hoping wherever you are, that you are hopelessly missing me too.
2:33 AM
i realize you'll never be here.. ever.
2:47 AM
my bed feels so empty and i can't stop tracing over the place where your body once filled the empty space. keeping the other half of my sheets warm.
3:13 AM
you've managed to make it through another night of running through my head. i keep scratching down things that will allow you to escape my brain and rest on my pages, but i stopped, because i got jealous of the pages, and wanted you to rest in my arms.
6:39 AM
the sun is starting to peek through my blinds. his eyes now opening, waking up to kiss the horizon good morning. i prepare to close mine, forcing myself to sleep, and imagine kissing yours goodnight.

When the lights go down
We look at each other
And you follow the curve of my face
Before your lips make one of their own

1049

Pain has but one Acquaintance
And that is Death—
Each one unto the other
Society enough.

Pain is the Junior Party
By just a Second’s right—
Death tenderly assists Him
And then absconds from Sight.

You fire at will without thinking
Thinking is only believing when it’s real
It’s real when it’s not
Sixty years in the making
You came to this land you proclaimed
Sixty years ago
It was peaceful with no remorse
All those who seen each other hugged and shake-
Hands they known to be as one humanity

As minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years gone
We seen lives treated like ants
New leaders were conjoined to unite nations
They say “We are only peacemakers.”
They’re the ones making the weapons
They’re the ones who keep killing
As a retaliation of self defense
But who started it?
Who robbed the land when it was beautiful
Who continued the ways of ******?
Who repetitively inhere the Massacre?

You fire rockets like it’s the Fourth of July
You even celebrated standing there with elation
Is this humanity? Is this right?
Is this the peace that nations conjoined to create?
'They' pay their taxes for you to commit crimes?
Is this the world we really wanted to live in?

Do you really believe-
They’ll use their own flesh & blood as their shields?
They’re in an open-air prison
In no rhyme nor reason will make them falter
They don’t believe in power
Only in power of faith and hope it’ll end
Yes.
It will end.
One day.

When that day comes
What you preached with your accusations
Your fake cries
Your fervid pretense of justice
Your deaths that you started
Your ‘media’ that corrupts minds that were blinded-
By your mendacity, armed with treachery
With pure dejection & cowardice

*The whole world will know then
Who brought upon pain
Who suffered the prolong unfeigned pain