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im meant for this world --just as branches naturally stretch toward the sun's warm light, as roots whisper to the earth and draw water so the plant may bear fruit, as water flows in deliberate motions --gentle, but can break down even the hardest of rocks into sediments, into sand as countless as the stars.

i feel most true when i can feel but cannot see. most true when the fierce breeze of open plains strikes through me, as if my lightness is not enough to blow away my desperations; i have to find meaning in the comparisons between the street's restless hum and the oceans breath... if i close my eyes hard enough, it could feel the same, i could change.

i am meant for this world, and i am so afraid that if i am not, i must eat every moment that has touched my skin; i forgot why my skin is so bruised.......

i am meant for this world, but perhaps i am simply not meant for other people !!!
wrote this as a letterboxd review on a 2005 film directed by gakuryu ishii :))) i love watching films and writing poetry :))) it's the only thing where i feel most true,,, when i watch films, i don't need to say my name, all i need are my eyes to see and my ears to hear :))) i love art :)))
Jun 7 · 31
[ ]
[ ]
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Hear, the crumbling of the Earth
Here, the end of Venus' birth
As I lie in bare land with bare feet and swollen eyes
I found that my cries mean nothing in a rock where the air reigns in a voiceless bound
--My cries mean nothing in a rock where every part of my being is the Earth itself, resound

I.
Hear, the crumbling of the Earth
Rumble, tumble, crumple, stumble, crumble
I clung to my lungs as the minuscule particles start to dwindle
I reached for my nostrils and felt the spills of aeolian thrills
I opened my mouth and tasted the brittle sand from a forsaken land

II.
Here, the end of Venus' birth
My love, disintegrating, shattering in robust fragility
Fluvial murky patterns, ruining steps of vitality
Disintegrating, shattering in quiet intensity
Tides formulate the next city of Venus' death

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At last, I lie in bare land with bare feet and sunken eyes
There will never be a winning fight against the inexorable decay of time
In the name of violent rage and anger --I gnashed my teeth
Until my jaws begin to fracture,
Teeth,
        falling a
                        p
                              a
                                    r
                                           t,
                                                there was never a fight to begin with...
i wrote this last year for an earth science project,,,, looking back, i think this piece is missing something,,,, i'm not thinking too much about it though, the right words will come to me, one day! one day! but for now, this is enough :)))
my vines will grow and cover it all

im 17
and i am at the edge of an undefined unrest

i still don't know what i want in life

i want to become something...... i think?

or i want to completely be nothing,,, run somewhere far away
maybe?

or walk into belligerent traffic

maybe i just want to create

but anything i touch is only reserved for me

my existence is a place where only i can access it

my love so small it spills only within the crevices of the earth
and only there --i can be found

i don't know anything in this world but this moment

i don't know anything but what i feel inside right now

and right now i am unknowable!
entering senior year! wow! i dream to vanish! not to die, maybe? but really,,, i don't desire death, just nonexistence... at least 5 minutes??? idkkkk!! i just don't feel real :3333
Apr 15 · 115
04/23/2024
A punch is a touch
For too much there is love
And for too little there is death
A touch is a punch
For too much there is death
And for too little there is love
the vines will grow and cover it all
Apr 4 · 308
Russian Dinner
A body
  --aloft a state of tranquility
posthumous jurisdiction
  of failed sanctity
pulling on triggers
  bound by religious testimonies

Do I have to force
  these confessions out of me?

I've run out of words
  to describe this iniquity...

Yet, it seems like...
  I've forgotten
That despite the beauty of my soliloquies...
  I am still not well

The water is not deep enough
  to house a village
My breathing too shallow
  to be considered devout

Should I force these words
  out of me?
Protest these cliche metaphors
  and punch the gut that claimed I couldn't?

I have written a thousand testimonies
  yet none are enough to remember my salvation
What remains of my body
  but the skin and bone found on my knees
    mapped the entirety of this blasphemous tragedy
wrote this a few days after my 17th birthday while eating on an unfamiliar house
Mar 25 · 323
Untitled
it's hard for me to let you go,
you look like an angel
--a deviant against God,
beautiful and forbidden
--against impermanence

ever-lasting;
a taste of ambrosia
a touch of Midas; gold
--yet rarer than the birds
that seem to circle around
--your crown;
not of thorns,
but early morning dew

and the fruits you bear;
not of love,
but grief
--and indelible prints
pressed on your skin...

you make my heart beat,
for once it never moved,
until my shadow was seen.
it's hard for me to let you go.
old poem from when i was 15
Mar 25 · 87
dear
oh what a dear
my dear girl
how dear

your pearled tooth
and whirled sway
how you put your words together in a lyrical way

oh what a dear
my dear girl

how dear you appease
your father's anger with ease
how a kiss on the cheek is enough to cease
the infinite possibilities of uncertainties

oh what a dear

my dear girl, you say
  there's no world for you here
and i fear,
  that you've said all the words you wanted
    me to hear

oh what a dear, you might have been.
you remind me of old poetry,
niche collections of trinkets,
a cracked pavement and lilies.
the amalgamation of everything i please,
and everything i miss so dearly.

oh what a dear
my dear girl
how dear you have been
i wrote this while waiting for the next class and while listening to ruth by michael cera... i'm not experiencing writer's block anymore! yey
short breaths, short breaths!
  under a crescent moon
i'll descend with you to the deepest of depths
  --my grand misfortune

i have considered the ocean
  and sunk onto the earth
my bare feet swimming on the grass' motions
  for despite drought, a shower of chance is enough to drown me with
    mirth

i have considered the lilies
  and have caressed them, oh so lightly
laid my hands on the soil with so much ease
  fingers, frolicking, dancing idly

i have considered your existence
  and once have i ever been filled with persistence
for love is sufficient unto love
Mar 10 · 154
202122
my bated breaths felt like winter...
timpani drums next to my lungs...
sticks and stones for my bones...
only little wood lingers inside me

if a fruit can have a heart
  can it be planted within me?
    i have consumed mine
      exponentially
i miss writing, im burntout
Feb 26 · 82
feb 26, 2025
maladaptive interjections
of past woven together
to craft a lace
--so beautiful, inviting

sinasayaw ang tinta
ng bawat guhit
sinusulit ang mga kahit

pale interviews
bloodsucked veins

walang makita kundi kita
i can't write
Jan 2024 · 49
A Taste of Rebellion
O blissful sin
From the mind's anarchy
The longing taste of repugnance
And crippling dancers on the tongue's testimony

As the hour fleets unknown
A murmuration of frequency
Is forced upon me
Like the naivety of a child's rebellion

I stand longingly
And wait for death's proclamation
--So I whiff a stick of wood
And stare as the element of Earth waver

The first, I puke of retaliation
Second, I enjoy the satisfaction
Third, I experience the body's emancipation
Fourth, I embrace the end of an operation

At the final act, of my Earthly bounds and desires
I neglect the chance of an association
The truth of incarnation
As the smoke of wood lingers on the roof of my mouth and nose

— The End —