Ryan - Hello Poetry

Ryan Jun 2015

Open

I opened up recently, and it feels
amazing.

This is the first time I can think of that I've turned to poetry out of happiness rather than anguish.

I just went back and read every poem I had ever written.

My conclusions were thus:

The thing that hurt me and caused me pain was never who I was, but rather the fear that people would see the real me.

Now, I have shown myself to all the important people, and life has gotten so much better.

I knew I couldn't be
closed
forever,
but I never expected openness to feel this good.

#truth #pain #gay #honesty #happiness #lgbt #open #comingout #homosexuality #itsover

Ryan Jun 2015

My sexuality

My sexuality isn't something you get to determine.

Nor something you get to judge me for.

Nor something you get to passive-aggressively hate on.

My sexuality is, however, something wonderful.

It is fluid.

It is something I am discovering uninhibitedly.

There is no need to define it.

Plus, trying to define it is what has caused

me untold anguish in the past anyway.

#gay #labels #*** #coming #out #lgbt #closet #sexuality #comingout #homosexuality

Ryan Feb 2015

Closed

It's rather peculiar how quickly people open up to me, given how much I keep bottled inside myself.

Thoroughly torturing myself with contemplation, I try to break through the mental barrier of who I am daily.

Years of norms that are anything but inclusive or supporting keep me held back, confused and feeling alone.

Someday soon I will be me. Someday soon they will see me.

I will not be
closed
forever.

#true #hiding #contemplation #open #openness #bottling

Nov 2014

E. E. Cummings

I Like My Body When It Is With Your

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

Ryan Oct 2014

Uncertainty

I need
my faith in life restored,
to know I can go on.
I've discovered who I am,
but fear has kept it hidden.
How will they treat me?
What will they say?
And perhaps more importantly,
will I ever want to take it all back?

*These questions and others plague me perpetually