Going out of my way
To make it known
That my feelings
Are not overblown.

I called you once
You did not answer
I felt my doubt
Spread like a cancer.

Testing my breath
Fighting the urge
To lay down in despair
Where my fears converge.

I regain control
The spiral slows
I hear your vibration
And I'm back in throes.

Alone with the wind am I,
the darkness is quiet but not shy.
An eternity of sleepless nights
a night of broken lights.

My mind is a library,
full of pondering and wonders.
The darkness is a blanket
as I am under covers.

Thinking , planning
at the hours of mine.
When the darkness is around
And the lights do not shine.

But I do not choose
to be full of interrogations
I do not choose
to spend countless nights
with my mind racing.

My eyes are red, tired, raw
my body is surrendering,
But my mind is not tired through it all.

I am doing constant laps,
all through my mind.
Of differing opinions
in differing time.

Alone with the wind am I.
I struggle to get by.
As the darkness controls me,
all I control are my cries.

Break me free, from this prison you have kept me in.
Let me go, spread my wings so I can breathe again.
I need air in my lungs and grass under my feet.
Take me away from these gray walls and concrete.
there are bars along the walls and you come to say hello,
You bring a red rose.
I know your trying to show me love,
But I am grey.
Your red rose is white in my eyes.

Like a spear
Running through my veins
Like a million galaxy
Skies passed with rains
I feel distant
Abandoned
Swimming in shame
Running away from laughter
From happiness you drained
From the sun that hides
When you rise dark memories
I wish my days would go back
Before my heart won its battle
Before realizing that by winning
The war was not really over
Come back with your army again
Bash me with misery
Rip my soul in pieces
**** my existence
Bury me deeper and deeper
Let there be no more of me
Then dive again
In your river of flame