I have discovered new changes and cravings that loving you has brought me to realize
One.
The warmth of a blanket is different from the warmth of a body and I would rather freeze to death in your arms than cover myself in fabric
Two.
As a child, I used to dream of red clay being palmed into shape
Into mountains, wind washed, carved to life
I think of loving you this way
Though it is only a childhood craft medium I can make something beautiful out of  it
Three.
I will forever be compromising myself for you
Though I know it is stupid to endeavor being well adjusted to something that is broken
But all I really want is to be what you want
Even if it means digging holes in myself
Scratching old roots out of my veins
Planting new gardens and flowers of your particular liking
Four.
Loving you is like walking across the street when you know it is not time yet, the crimson lit palm telling you that it is a time to stay still, never listening and thinking, maybe they'll stop for me today but they never do and you end up wrecked each time
Loving you is going back every day, already broken enough so why not test the waters once more
Convincing yourself that there is something different about this time
Five.
Though you are so beautiful, your smile is a light in the dark, your kiss is venomous and I know you are not good for me but there something so enticing about swallowing a poison that taste so sweet
You are a deceiving medicine that will only make me sicker
I have discovered new changes and craving that loving you has brought me to realize and these are only a few out of the many that my mind holds captive, I hope to tell them to you one day

Can you remember who you were,
Before the world told you who you should be?

In that moment,
descending into a drunken mess,
he tried to grasp at the moon but stumbled over his own soul,
what might have become or may have been,
ours is not to tell,
nor is there rhyme or reason,
for betwixt the threshold of darkness and a flickering candle,
the beacon to the lost is sometimes found,
inwardly looking at the reflection within,
not with standing the image without,
all is but a dream.

There is something peaceful about being alone
I have learned that I don’t need anyone to complete me
I have learned that some puzzles can still be just as beautiful with a few missing pieces
And maybe one day I will find them
But for today, I am by myself
And I am okay with it as ever

Sometimes I would hold the hand that broke me, expecting it to be a barricade between me and a vehicle.

Sometimes I got so scared of the monsters under my bed,
but I didn't realize that I crawled into bed with one, expecting it to stop the nightmares it caused in the first place.

Sometimes it kissed my finger when I got a paper cut,
but never once did it cool the tobacco kissed burns on my arm.
Sometimes it whispered "I love you" with the same lips that screamed "You're worthless!"

I remember when I hated everything about it but I still craved it to stay.
I remember when it left, but its presence still breaks my bones and cuts my skin.

I know it is foolish of me to want love after all I've done
I've betrayed past lovers with the lies that seemed reasonable enough to believe
I've doubted every relationship I've had
I've lost touch with authenticity and now my soul aches to touch some something real
Anything that is certain, anything that is palpable
I crave affection but I lose hold of it as soon as it boils over because I am afraid of being burned
I have been trying to conclude why love is such a tough subject for me
Trying to figure out how something so beautiful can be so ugly in the wrong light
When did black and white become so grey
There is no intermediate in love
There is no middle road
There is one path or the other
You can be infatuated with every person you see or be hopelessly devout to a single person
There has never been an effortless love story
I know, I know that is it foolish of me to want love after all I have done
But I've noticed that no matter how many cavities you have, it does not make you lust after sweetness
Any less

Nothing boils my blood quite like whenever you ignore my despondency and assume that I don't want to be bothered. I see that as you think I'm strong enough to support myself when in all actuality I need a shoulder to cry on sometimes. You think that I can hold myself together when I really just break down. You're so afraid of fighting for what you want that you reach the point where you let your illiteracy take over and just respond with "okay". When I push you away, you aren't supposed to go...

I too often find myself being sad
Feeling the weight of it sit on my shoulders
As the ground begs me to succumb to it
We are always allowed to joke about being lonely
But never taking a step further into it
Because no one wants to hear about your pain
There is no real interest in other people's desolation
Consigned to oblivion, treacherous waters
So tempting to go for a swim
Dancing in the rain until the flood waters drag me away
I have never felt such force pushed against me
Until I experienced you walking away from me
There is nothing more heart-wrenching
Than losing a love that never existed to them in the first place