I've felt passion
And I've felt pain
I've felt the warmth
On a rainy day

I've said goodbye
So many times
Each one with a kiss
And- a heart that I miss
But- when I'm here
and when I'm stable
My heart doesn't let me
Be loving or able

I've felt pain
In the brightest of places
Full of life
and smiling faces
I felt numb
With no desire
A constant stillness
A flameless fire

I felt passion
In the darkest times
I let my mind go
I forgot how to rhyme

I imagined black holes
A strong magnetic pull
A downward heavy spiral
Where my energy flowed

I've questioned myself
I've suffered in my skin
I've searched and wondered
Then began to begin

I let the sun kiss me
On my bare skin
Yet I felt freezing cold
Shivers from a deep strong wind within

I've broken the chains
Of my education
And I've bent the rules
For my own revelation

Hiding behind masks
Of make up and designer bags
Laughing on cue
Subtle touch of the arm
Roll of the eyes when you know their watching
Fitting into who you think you want to be
Hiding behind gossip and others troubles
And your shocked when they don't care
Your loud voice and soft hair
stealing  just a little form everyone
As you hide behind your little screen
Making faces
Hiding behind your virtual reality
100 likes doesn't make you more loved
I notice you
That depth you fill with evaporating sand
Consumed by your appearance
And here I sit
judging you
Part of my reflection

I was cold

and you were there

untouched

alone

no one claimed you

you caught my eye

you fit nicely

slightly big

how I like it

warming me up

people staring

jealous your around me

I know they want you

you know they want you

they know they want you

now you lay quietly

on the blue couch in my room

so still

yet ready for my touch

I dont know where you came from

or who you were with before

but you make me happy

when your on me

on chilly summer nights

or winder days

keep doing what you do

oh grey jacket

They come and go

so they say

the true ones are

the ones who stay

But I disagree

for we all are evolving

And true today

may not be tomorrows calling

Diving into your reflection
An unknown depth
The last moment above the surface
A chill overcomes my being
My freshly shaven legs
Now spike from premature stubble
Goosebumps run up arms
I shiver
Tingling behind my neck
Tickling my spine
I squeeze my shoulders forward
My muscles tense
My mind is playing ping pong
Between fear and overwhelming confusion
For a brief moment excitement rides over
and plays against uncertainly
How I know I shouldn't think
Cause once I start
I cannot stop
And on and on I go
Just jump
Surrender
I close my eyes
My heart beats faster
My body tightens
I picture the worst scenario
It's dark and uncontrollable
I know it's just a thought
I also know it's real
I remind myself to breathe
So I breathe
Like the day I was born
And everyday since
Out and in
And in and out
I practice my rhythm
Beat on
Beat off
I feel my whole body thump  
Moving with my breathe
Becoming my focus
I breathe in once more
On my release
I let myself fall
I fly
Shattering my expectations
Breaking every barrier I built
Fracturing my thick walls
My mental cement fortification Exploding
Weightless nothing
Disappearing
And I fall
I twirl on your reflection
Dance in your eyes
our universes colliding
When will I wake up
When will I resurface

Falling in love
with me
Who I was
Who I want to be
Who I am struggling
to meet

I will cherish my past
You were a part of it
A segment in my journey
And for that while
You made me crazy
You made me happy
So I won't ruin who you were to me
But who you are now
Is a disgrace to who you were
And I don't like you now
But I will push through this
With dignity and courage
To respect MY memories
Because I am important to ME
You helped me learn this
Whoever you become is up to you
I won't change because of you