A TYPICAL HEROINE

A TYPICAL HEROINE Aug 2020

Intrusion.
Don't you realized what you've done?
You acted like you were the almighty.
But yet all of these insecurities make you worry?
You've failed before too, ain't you, honey?

Here, I've writ you this passage.
You know, for a bit of message.

Be adviced and armed.
For I know, I'm not an easy prey.
Life never treated me well.
So do not be alarmed,
just run and pray.
Before you face your own hell.

But, be my guest, come and play.

First, let me light my cigars
and start to sing.
Truly yours,
A lady who used her scars,
to make her wings.

To someone who bothered me lately, this post is dedicated to you, dear one.
Hit me up and please, be my guest.

#message #advice

A TYPICAL HEROINE Jul 2020

The Vow

For all of those days, when I felt empty inside.
I often blamed myself for something I can't control.
I hate the scars from my past.
I hate the flaws that already there since the day I was born.
I hate my imperfections, for I know I always less than anyone.

Then, you came.
Break into walls that I've built.
Saved me from my darkest thoughts.
Treated me like I’m not damaged from my past,
embraced my scars that I'm dying to hide.

So, I decided.
As long as I live.
To embrace every single of your side,
To give you all the strength that you need,
To hold you when you're all alone,
to the point
you can't remember the last time when I wasn't there
neither can remember the times when you were loved like this.

For you who I often thought that you're too good to be true.

#love #new #vow #happiness

A TYPICAL HEROINE Jul 2020

24 Oct 1996

I get a hunch about how tricky life can might, at the time I swiped you right.

Then I get to know how cold is the river in winter, when you want something to over.

The way you told your jokes was a foolish, but how come I see you as my bliss?

The time I enter the Garden of Eden is when I found someone who actually listens.

Then I found that you're so secretive as if I was being lost at high seas, you're the first person I want to see.

My defense got broken when part of me was taken.

Break it or take it I couldn't careless, for all I know, you are right Now it is flawless.

#sunday

A TYPICAL HEROINE Oct 2018

The Darkest Thought

I’m starting to hate being alive
I’m tired of being alive.

the pain from the past won’t heal,
I thought I was fine
but it’s nowhere near ‘fine’.
It’s getting harder when ur family throwing and blaming you for something that you thought it was the right thing to do, but no.
I was wrong
I always be wrong.
I’m easily replaced.
I know telling this to you won’t get me anywhere
I don’t really know where to go,
it feels like I’m going to burst.
my demon is here, the devil is here
should I salute them?
should I run with them?
my head is getting hurt
I have nothing left to say
all of the pain are flashing right before my eyes
despite I try to tell her everything she won’t listen
yes it’s my fault
I was the one who agains everything
I’m sorry
I was the one who’s broken
you can fix or leave me
is your choice
sorry for being this dark,
but I’m at my lowest point,
I want to run, but I can’t, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

I wrote this while I’m facing my depression that had been there since a year ago, it won’t leave me easily instead it hides to somewhere deep inaide of me, I thought I was fine, but no, I wasn’t and this kind of black dog always been inside of me and can come out in a blink of an eye, destroying the walls

#depression #mental #ilness #dark #youth

A TYPICAL HEROINE Oct 2018

Happy Birthday, Dear Self.

Two decades and two years have been passed
There is more to come

It is not always a rainbow
Sometimes it’s hard looking forward to tomorrow

I’m a failure as a daughter
Not to mention as well as a lover
Being kind never been my strength
Being gentle never been my true nature
I took the bullets but I couldn’t get the wolf trust

But, the pain I gain,
The tears I shed
The heart that shreded
I took the responsibility for it
All glued back now

Hardship never means to be easy
To live, never is
It creates you a shield to face the rest of the world
I may a useless and failure daughter
But I’m one hella though fighter

To the heart that keeps beating
To the soul that keeps sane
To the mind that keep in peace
22 years down, more to go

I make a present for my self

#birthday #teenage #fighter #heroine #slice #of #life #growing #adulthood #mature

A TYPICAL HEROINE Oct 2018

Lost Hero

Dazzling eyes with nowhere to land
The sparks once that shone, dissapearing into nowhere to be found
I asked him is it okay to live like that?
He replied ‘what should I do? the love I never asked tearing me apart’
I shut my self into silence and I wonder
why it’s hard to see you suffer than to see you fall in love with her

#stars #unrequited #love

— The End —