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 Mar 2016 A Dash of Red
aar505n
If I kept walking
Went along with the crowd
Would you miss me?

Cause sometimes I feel like doing so
Giving in to the currant
Just keeping walking

I'd be one among the many
Toss upon this moving sea
Alone - a long way away

Funny that isn't?
Alone among the many.
Where we are all alone together

The irrationality of rational thinking
Is that we must rationally account
The irrational aspect that comes with us.

Cause when does anything we do make sense?
The innocence of a guilty conscience
Is as true as the reverse

I don't want to be lonely
Don't want to be me at all really
Even if I did like solitude - it does not like me back.

But to be alone is different
Alone among the many
Makes perfect sense doesn't it?

Maybe you'll spy me one day
Just for an instant - watching you do
Before a wash of faces carries me away

Would you try to follow or
Would you think fondly of me or
Would you just convince yourself you saw nothing?

If the lather is the case
Then I leave my name with you
Where ever I might go - I will no longer need it.

I will be the Witness.
A terrible wallflower
Graceless and without power.

So maybe - I'll keep on walking
Unsure if I'll ever be anchor again
For what I know of love - there is nothing to gain.
What if I were there?
       I'd sit in the dark and hope you left. I won't tell you that you make
        me nervous.

And then what? ;)
      Please don't think I care about you.
Send me a pic.
      I know you don't care about me either.
Oh yeah baby
       Is this what we have come to call intimacy?
U know what I'd do 2 u?
      Emotionless exchanges, just for a moment of pleasure and a lifetime
        of shame.

What r u wearing?
      *I don't want this. I wanted love. This isn't love.
 Mar 2016 A Dash of Red
m i a
as she puts her headphones in,
the world begins to grow more,
and more dim.
bravo to the guy who invented headphones.
A painted image
False happiness as people tell me I'm amazing
And a pre-written set of lines to keep me going

I wish I had their humility
That I didn't rethink myself daily
That my mind didn't relapse into hate

I don't look in the mirror because I'm afraid of what I'll see
I don't stare closely at my body or I'll point out my flaws
And I force my mind to call me beautiful until I believe it again

"I wish I had your confidence"
Do you wish you had such hard relapses of hate
And to doubt your own thoughts until you wish you were so much different
This queen didn't emerge without a crumbling castle and a dominating kingdom
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