Dear him,

You aren’t the reason I end my nights on the floor. You aren’t the reason I wear long sleeves. You aren’t the reason the food is left on my plate after every meal. You aren’t the reason there are some days I simply cannot get out of bed.  You aren’t the reason I left.

Never blame yourself.

You are the reason I still have good days. You are the reason I wear my hair down instead of up. You are the reason there are stars in my dull, lifeless eyes. You are the reason not every smile is fake. You are the reason I wanted to stay.

Always love yourself.

Love,
her

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Give it to him after I’m gone. Please tell him I loved him, I loved him so **** much. I know he won’t understand why that wasn’t enough, but you have to make him understand that the pain inside me was too much. I loved him, but I had to choose myself in the end.

You’ve got me strapped to this bed

I feel my mind leaving my head

I’m close to being dead

I can feel the needle break deep inside of my veins

They tell me I’m insane

But they made me that way

Every day it’s the same old thing

Nothing is what it seems

I swear I’m going crazy

I feel so hazy

There are so many needles in my arm

They said they would do no harm

But look at me and my insanity

if you really think about it,
are you even sad?
all this dark poetry and old melancholy ballads
and red black lines on your wrist,
is that even you?
or are you so preoccupied with being sad that
a moment of joy passes by and you don't even savour it
you make no attempts to grab it and hold on to it
and it just leaves
what must I do to make you believe
that this world may be
a cold, dark place
but there is always one ray of hope
and it flickers
it flickers within you.
- a.g.