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 Apr 2015 antxthesis
sheridan
She battles her demons, day in, day out.
They don’t stay quiet, they scream and shout.
They tell her she’s ugly, they tell her she’s fat.
Her thighs are too big and her stomach’s not flat.
She starves herself but that’s not enough.
This desire to be thin has proven to be tough.
It’s making her miserable, it’s making her sad.
The quicker the weight loss, it won’t be as bad.
But the weight is staying and it won’t disappear.
She’s taking it to the extreme
And she’s making it clear
That she wants to be thin
And thin she will be.
But what you don’t know is that girl is me.
I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old,
he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty.

it was the first time I'd
realized
that.
little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.
 Apr 2015 antxthesis
cloud
**** the system
Its a prison
What’s the difference between a classroom and a cell?
Tell me
Ask me
If needs be
Papers, papers - more papers
A score on a test paper?
Do they define us?
How could they?
You teach us-what?
what we don’t want to learn
Why?
The system
**** the system

It’s education
We all learn the same thing
Im seeing it clearly
Then you test us
And we don’t fulfill

Normal
What is normal?
Cliques, Crews, Groups
Definition - basic

I’ve never been a loner
But what is normal?
The people that don’t ask questions?
or the people that question questions?
See the world differently?
or blend in to what is custom?

What is real?
What’s not?
Wake up
You’re sleeping
**** the system

Don’t we all just get a little
Fed up
With what they
Feed us
But I’m eating , aren’t I?
But why?
It’s the way out
It's the system
**** the system
this was a little rant i had in my TOK class one day ,i ended up getting mad and wrote this instead.
 Apr 2015 antxthesis
cloud
see me
 Apr 2015 antxthesis
cloud
see me
i’ve been waiting patiently for your attention
see me
do you?
need me
your touch is what i’m craving for
it keeps me wanting more

that was all I wanted
until it wasn’t enough
see me - you won't
need me - you don’t
love me - there is no definition

your touch was all i needed
until i became obsessed
Three big-small words
‘I love you’

but you abused them
you knew - what it did
to me
what you could get
from me

we love the ones that don’t see
and crap on the ones that do
see me
that was all i hoped.
go for the ones that see you, not the ones that don't. we are all beautiful creatures and we all deserve love. don't be bitter.
I'm wearing a straight jacket all over
As my fashion statement
My body got the memo early
That the world wouldn't be able to handle my movement
So it doesn't move...
Just so that the world doesn't explode from my
Awesomeness
Eyes are glued to me
Like gum to my wheelchair
Because I'm fiercer than Beyoncé

Some have the audacity to try to berate me
Thinking that I'm lesser because
I don't succumb to the filth of the floor
I won't descend to that level
My feet weren't made to stand on this world
God knew that only the best would do
This world isn't ready for my Heavenly struts
Rihanna ain't got nothing on me

I refuse to accept my situation as a prison sentence
My heavy skin isn't my prison warden
It's my accessory for my outfit
Even though I'm rolling here
I'll not only be walking,
I'll be soaring in Heaven

So you don't have to give me your discount pity
I take cash

You may call me a handicap
But I call myself a Princess
Who can only walk on golden roads.
I was just trying to think of how it would feel to be paralysed, but I didn't want to write anything depressing. I wanted to inspire someone to rise from their situation and to love life. Also to understand that God made you amazingly-beautiful, no matter your circumstances. You're fierce in God's eyes and mine.
:)
I love you all
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