I haven’t seen you or talked to you,
for years.

I froze when I saw you.

You were the first
that I truly loved
that I cared for the most
that I appreciated the most
& valued.

You were the first
that gave me a taste  of
what loving someone,
what appreciating someone
& valuing someone felt like.

But in the end,
you were the one
that made me feel worthless,
invisible & never enough.

Maybe I’m giving you too much credit.
Maybe I was delusional this whole time.
Maybe you weren’t the first
But you were the one
who impacted me the most.

You taught me how to love & hate
at the same time.

We are growing into
a world of empty promises,
a world of dishonesty,
a world of trust issues,
a world of backstabbers,
& a world of one-sided efforts.

We're losing our motivation
of pursuing relationships & friendships.

We're sabotaging the progress
we're making to better our lives.

I don't know if this is my pessimistic thinking
or its reality.

Whatever it is, it's sad.

You know my past
you've seen my past
but you've never been in my shoes.

You know my past
but you don't know my present or future.

You've only seen what I wanted you to see.
So don't act like you're me or my maker.

Your words were good intentions
but the message pierced through my heart
with doubts.

You've seen my scars
but you never felt my pain.

You're you & i'm me

I'm the author of my own story.
I'm writing my own life how i want it to turn out.

I'm doing things my way, not your way.

We are our own backstabbers
We sabotage ourselves
We are our own liars
We can’t face the truth
We can’t face our demons
So we tell ourselves we’re okay.

       But
we’re also our own healers
We’re our own soldiers
We’re our own climbers.

We heal, we grow, we fight
and we keep moving forward.

You drain away the strength away from others
I give the strength away to others.

I give the antidote to others,
you give poison to others.

I'm a giver,
you're a taker.

Whatever we do,
we're so opposite.

Wish we were those
" opposites attracts each other"
but we're not that.

That's the sad reality...