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 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
BF
-
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
BF
-
Pity the fool who does
not believe words can
change lives
And I want to tell her that I understand
what it feels like to be fake, insignificant,
and a shadow on the sidewalk of society.

And I want to tell her that I also borrow
the experiences of others --
that I, too, learn feelings
by stopping and staring at personal wreckage,
like a tourist of emotions,
like an inevitable wish of a human being.
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
Pax
Lie
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
Pax
Lie
Every time I lie,
I break a piece of myself.
10w

I dunno the real reason
why I haven't post this,
perhaps it spoke too much
in such few words.
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
R
Untitled
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
R
you're the only thing in my life that feels truly right, right now.
i just hope I'm not wrong and
everything goes wrong
again.
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
R
11w
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
R
11w
if you're my heart, i wonder what i am to you?
friend said something along these lines and i tweaked it because it hit home
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
R
Untitled
 Jun 2015 Ankit J Chheda
R
maybe if i cut myself open, all of you will pour from my veins and from my dead heart.
Doctors and Clinical Psycologists diagnose Depression as:

A mood disorder causing a persistent feeling of sadness or lost of interest.

Sadness however is just a side affect of depression.

The real culprit is exhaustion.

Exhaustion
that the world hasn't changed.
Exhaustion
that your career hasn't changed.
Exhaustion
that you are poor.
Exhaustion
that your family or other people around you havent changed.
Exhaustion
because you cant seem to fit in with them.
Exhaustion
you cant seem to change your appearance.
Exhaustion
because you cannot change your personality.
Exhaustion
because you are recognized for a fake smile.

Or maybe

Exhaustion
because you are not recognized at all.


Exhaustion strikes because you are ultimately unable to change the mechanics in the grand machine that is your life.

You are stuck in a never ending loop.
A cycle of what you feel is a wasted life.

A life you feel you are powerless to change because you are too exhausted
to do so.

This is the true meaning of depression:

The desperate, crippling, aching, hurt you feel.
The heavy signs you release at the end of the day.
The anger that rips and shakes through your body.
The screams and sobs you let fly deep into your pillow so nobody hears.
The silent pool of tears that stream down your face at night.
The ones that cling and stain your cheek.

All the emotions that stop when you finally sleep, when everything stops and you are taken by the dark void of a dreamland, when the exhaustion finally ends.

With a life like ours
can you really blame the exhausted,
For wanting to sleep forever?
Just felt like this needed to be said. I used to feel so exhausted when I was in my really bad stages of Depression. A lot of people dont understand the pain because it's in your mind. But it's as real as a broken arm or leg.
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