darling darling
you are not what you seemed
a gentle whisper in the wind
turned into a blood curdling scream

I'm standing here,
not knowing what to say.
It seems to escape me now.
Losing it through fingers clenched to tight.

I'm standing here,
but you don't see me anymore.
It's fading beyond my grasp,
soon left to be polished memories and stale perfume.

I'm standing here,
fighting the impulse to run,
Not knowing what to do...
Feet frozen from backward thoughts that fill me with doubt.

I'm standing here,
and I have no idea why.
Just a naive girl with bare feet,
and hair let free.
Wondering why the wind keeps whispering your name.

who am I?
the monster hiding in the crevices of your mind
itching underneath your skin
and pulling hair out strand by strand

who am I?
a river through your hometown
the one you would stand in as a child
and scream as loose shards of glass cut your feet

who am I?
your flashlight in the dark night
shuddering and going out
you leave it there laying on the pavement

who am I?
the old guitar in the corner of your room
dusty and out of tune
but so full of nostalgia that you can’t let it go

who am I?
a blade across your skin
blood in the bathroom sink
bandages hidden under sleeves

who am I?
a best friend
a lover
somebody you never needed

somebody you won't give up
somebody you need to give up
somebody who told you that better things are out there
somebody you never could believe
in the first place

why do you stay?

I held you in the palm of my hand
I held you in the palm of my hand and I closed you in
I closed the palm of my hand
and you were nothing but the dark I had forced upon you
I may have bled from every crevice of my being
but it was too late
I am met by sour words and unforgiven last chances
you were the sun and I showered you in glass
now we are no more

you were on my lips
you were on my lips and I pushed away
I pushed away all thoughts of you
and I was nothing but this mass of
guilt and deathly notions infesting my head
I infected everything I touched
turned your skin green and your eyes red
while my pores were clean
I am walking termination

we were almost okay
we were almost okay and I let you go
I let you leave me like everybody else has
and that blame reeks in my skull
burning through my blood
tearing out my eyes and leaving me as
crippling devastation on legs
I wish I could relieve the pressure
I wish there was somebody here

Here i am i slipped again.
I went and let the darkness in.
Now its here beneath my skin.
Im stumbling again.
On the crooked streets of never.
Where friendships break and ties get severed.
Stomaches ache and lies sound better.
Its best just too pretend.
Yet i know i cant fall down.
Its just too loud,a sickened sound.
I pray that noone else around .
Will laugh at what they found.
Again!

If you love me
find a way to let me know
but should you find that you can't,  
Please find it in yourself to let me go

gnarley fingers 
veil his face, 
skin thin and crusted 
at certain spots: 
splotched parchment 
of years in the sun 

moistness 
cascades 
from his forehead to 
his chin 
then meets gravity; 
raindrops 

through his soil-grimed 
singlet, jeans and boots; 
hours of toil 
simmer away 
in rivulets 
of forgetfulness.

I saved myself a long time ago
from the demons that lived inside
they come around every now and again
but they see the fight in my eyes
I never prayed for a prince to come
and wisk me off my feet
come to my rescue
I am no damsel in distress
I'm the one who will defeat the evil things lurking
My fairytale has long since changed
since the first time I saw the pretty princesses
I do not want a knight in shining armor
but rather a partner in crime