Its nights like this
Where heavy hangs the heart
I wake in dark of night
Unable to soothe these fears
That I doubt my ability to
Love, rather my affinity
For something that may not
Be there any longer

These are the moments where
I feel most loss,
Lonesome in its touch,
Painful in its thought

I have decided that i am not sad or happy
I am numb for every emotion
I do not feel sad or happy
I do not know what i am
I do not feel mad or horrible
I just feel confused and numb
I still laugh, but then why do i cry?

How do i have feelings
How do i feel again?
Am i dying?
It feels like it...

people don't settle for the physical.
they want your heart,
your soul,
your energy,
your time.

people don't settle for what's underneath your skin.
they want your words,
your touch,
your eyes on them only.

people don't settle for what's real.
they want angels,
gods,
super humans.
the ones who don't have limits.
the ones you can never fathom.

when i was younger
i used to toss paper planes
into the air
now when i toss myself into the air
i see myself as a paper plane
once caged,now free.