somehow,
your thoughts will always drift to them.
you fingers will always gravitate to theirs,
and you will wonder how to take them.
you will revel in the sight of their hair
whipping past a corner, or
their lilting smile lingering on the
tips of their lips.
you will remember the memories you've made
sitting on a bench as the sun sets over the lake,
or driving past twelve, on a cold spring night.
to the flirtations, the tears, the confessions you've made,
and you'll feel all the love you have for them
resting in your heart like the coals of a dying fire;
waiting for a reminder of the heat of their emotion.
but now, even though you've been together
for months and months on end,
they're leaving.
you've missed them so much,
and yet you've never had them.
they've deserved a seat in your heart,
and yet you've never offered it to them.
you know what you have to say, to stay in their thoughts
and to remind them of the memories you’ve made.
and as those last moments arrive, you look into their eyes,
and you try to say those words,
but all that comes out is
"i'll miss you"

but you already have.

i don't know how to tell you i love you.
but i do; believe me, i do.
with all of my heart, and all of my soul.
here i present the essence of myself.
welcome, to every fiber of my being.

i know you'll never trust me,
but believe the words that
fall off my lips like the
tears that lingered on my cheeks
when my feelings were unreciprocated.

and believe me, because in the matter
of love and human emotion, a false
i love you is worse than scorned
romance, because at least love turned bad
was pure at one point.

and i try; or lord, i try.
but the world stages blocks in
the path that leads to the end.
and sometimes, it's harder to push past
without hurting yourself in the end.

and here i sit: this room in which
i have both everything and nothing, and
i don't know which one i have lost.