i just want you to know,
the first time your hand touched my knee
my entire body came alive.
i saw a million fireflies.
looking at you makes me taste
sweet tea
and summertime.
your laugh is lemonade.
your tan skin makes me want
to die a thousand deaths.
and i would gladly.
to be jump-started by a million fireflies,
it would all be worth it.

i never knew i could feel so sick and so happy.
you tore me apart
in the most beautiful way.
the hole where my heart was still bleeds.
i wish you had taken my stomach
for, without butterflies in it, it is useless.
my brain has no purpose
now that you are not around to occupy it.
and worst of all you left me with lungs that i wish would collapse
because without you oxygen is poison.

never in your life will you have so much ahead of you
and yet you have nothing at all.
the first party, you drank too much.
at least your best friend held your hair when you vomitted.
the first kiss, was in the back seat of his car.
he ignored you the next week at school.
the first trip to the beach was in july.
the boys stared at you in your swimsuit for the first time.
the first date was at the movies.
he touched your knee and kissed your neck.
the first time life when really hit you,
was when you realized growing up isn't a good thing.

you were a beautiful symphony played by a million heartbreaks

you cry in the shower,
because you dont want them to hear.
the people who are supposed to love you most,
are the ones who aren't even near.
you've been fighting a war on the battlefield of your mind,
a war that no one else seems to find.

i want you so bad.
for you are the moon and stars.
you are perfection.

i crave your love more than anything in this world