He pulled up a chair
He tried to remember
It was in this square
and it was icy December.
He saw her point her toes
then she stretched her heel
Noticed how she stroked her clothes
she had so much *** appeal.
If only he could touch her cheek
She had ruby lipstick on her lips
If he did he could not speak for a week
and he noticed the curve of her hips.
Around her neck she wore pearls
draped lovingly across her chest
Her hair hung in tight curls
He closed his eyes to imagine the rest.
She glanced in is direction
He smiled his very best smile
he oozed with every affection
for he had sat there awhile.

The air in this room
Is asphyxiating
But the sunlight is
Too bright outside
And I am far too sad
Inside
And this feeling
Is like cold hands
Grasping
My heart.

So I'll wait and I'll fade
Into the night
A slight figure
In the fog
And walk under the
Sallow light of street lamps
Pretending that my darkness
Will fade into
the black of the sky
If I allow it to slip away

I feel awkward
You're making me mad
You tell me one thing
And then take it back

What's your deal?
Do you want me here or not?
If I'm just a burden
Tell me so I can go get lost.

It's not fun for me either,
Being somewhere I'm not wanted.
Regardless I smile
And will not be haunted.

i know i said i'm agnostic.
i've said that for the past 6 years...
but i feel that i've lost it
and today i need a listening ear.
i don't know where i'm going,
and where i've gone doesn't matter.
i rise but then i fall knowing
i'll just end up shattered.
i worry that what i have isn't sufficient.
while others keep a steady pace forward,
i freeze, lose sight of my ambitions,
and i'm locked in a dark corner.
i study, i practice, i study, i practice,
i forget how to relax,
i wish i could fade to blackness,

but i remember to stand tall.
if i stand with good posture,
chin high, i might not fall.
in this world i have to conjure
some hope from somewhere.

i know i said i'm agnostic,
but this is a letter to You.
i am trying to find a place in this world
that i can call mine.
please, grant me the strength to
discover it.