All I can do and all I can say
is I’m sorry for making you feel this way.
Angry, annoyed, “Will she ever get the hint?
There’s no chance I’ll love her, not even a glint.”

Best I can tell you is I know I’m the beast
who embarrassed herself until she finally ceased.
Battling emotions said there might be a chance,
while the other side knew this was only a trance.

Conversations commenced, started by just one side
and I bet you couldn’t wait until all of them died.
Calling myself out is all I can do
because now I’m too ashamed to apologize to you.

Don’t even worry, I know I did wrong.
Somehow I managed to string myself along.
Denial was in me, thanks to all of your smiles.
Now my dignity’s laying in tatters and piles.

Every time I think about how I once was,
I start to feel an uncomfortable buzz.
Endlessly tormented by my very own actions,
I’ve no one else to blame for my dissatisfactions.

“**** me,” I say. “**** my dumb, stupid brain.”
I am the source of my sorrow and pain.
For all that I’ve said and for all that I’ve done,
I wish there was one time I actually won.

Going, going, gone. I got out of some’s life.
Now I’m not here to cause you more strife.
Grateful, I am, that some still call me friend,
that you still care enough not to let it all end.

Happy, you are, that my flirting disappeared,
thankful this uncomfortable fog has now cleared.
Hoping if you read this you won’t be upset,
but for me it’s so hard to just stop and forget.

I want you to know that I bear no ill will,
for it’s me that I’m angry with. Always. Still.
I look at the night sky and see that it’s starry
and I just want to tell you that I am so sorry.