So many people these days
continue life in the gray area

we are too afraid
to use the voice we were born with
the voice that we have every right to
we are too afraid
to feel the emotions we were born with
the emotions that we have every right to

we sit in this gray area
and waste life away
watching life pass us by
as we become soulless corpses
too afraid to move or speak

but

why are we afraid
of using the two things
we were naturally born with
why are we afraid
to speak up
to feel emotions

use your voice
feel your emotions

tell your friend they hurt you
tell that boy or girl how you feel
tell that person you don't like that

as a human being on this earth
you are given every right
to your voice
and
your emotions

use them

i gave you
your two letters
two days ago

the letters
that explained
everything

how you
simply made me trust
how you
simply made me feel
how you
simply were genuine

and now i have
not heard a single word
from you

and i
am on my own

once again

when the ****
as a society
did we decide it was okay
to normalize and romanticize
being numb

i have done
more harm than good
by numbing my emotions
for the last 14 years

i have hurt friends and family
by numbing it all
but more importantly
i have hurt myself
by numbing it all

so as a society i say
we start saying this

**** the numbness

feel it all
feel every last bit of pain
feel every last bit of hurt
feel every last bit of anger
feel every last bit of happiness

you will flourish now darling

there was a time
in my life
where i would go
to these populated bars
where it was packed
like a can of sardines
looking for someone
to numb the pain

only
when you enter
these bars and clubs
do you realize how
empty it actually is

how empty these souls are
how everyone here
is numbing something
running from something

a few hundred people
in a bar and
all i feel is lonelier than ever
i see through the *****

we're all lonely here

one of my earliest memories
is the day my grandmother
taught me how to float in the pool
it took me a few tries
before she let go of my body
above the water

she let me go
all on my own
without me even realizing

i remember looking over at her
and seeing her
great big smile
she then said to me

my girl
this is a life lesson
never believe that you need
to hold onto someone
to get things done
know that all you have is yourself
and know you are strong enough
to hold yourself up all on your own

its funny you know
looking back
on where i was a year ago
lost
and
hurt
begging for you to return

now you have returned
and all i can wish is for you to leave
i am worth so much more than what you have given me
i am strong
i am beautiful
i am creative
i am me

and you will not change that