The day I feel good
    is the day I do not think
    about life so hard.

Time flies so fast,
that's why I decided to love you

I still imagine what it would be like if one day I really could have her. Love her so close. As close as a breath of every fresh air I breathe in the morning. Get into the lungs. Then make out there.

It's true that I really want to be able to have, all the things that I might never be able to have.
So naive when we are learning to love someone.
O her face. O her eyes. O her nose. O her cheek. O her lips. O her long hair fell down her shoulders. So clear, that dreams are like reality.
She was so obvious. She was so real, I even felt something beating so fast and fast, like the wind through her hair.
Her smile made everything shattered back together, but no, not every time.

I still love her, that's the kind of love I would have said if she was really here. But she's not here. And I can't say that I love her.

She was so close, but so far away. She's far from my eyes. And she's so far away to feel my feelings for her.

The last kid
in this world
was followed by death
but he did not care about it
because everyday
he'd been living in fear
surrounded by adult
who never understood him.
The last kid
in this world
never had a friend.
And the death
offered himself to be.

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you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you
don't exist. Find me.

I read all your poems you have written.
I love all that feelings you have given.
For all poets that I do not know you before, keep writing!
Keep your feeling be true!
The way you choose your life to be,
it can be real you will be.
I love the way you choose the word to be a poetry.
All your poems always make me happy.

Thank you the spiders--
     You have saved my heart before,
     giving home for me.

This is sadness.
The sadness that only I can feel.
There are no words to describe this sadness.
Poetry is full of dead words, and I realize it is real.

This is sadness.
The sadness that only I can feel.
I can't do anything with this sadness.
Tell me if this sadness is not real!

Aku menciptakan bingkisan berbentuk hati,
membungkusnya dalam rusuk rapat melengkung
agar tidak ada celah sedikitpun untuk kesedihan itu terlihat padamu.

Puisi-puisi kita pernah menjadi hadiah untuk duka dan luka yang samar-samar,
lalu air mata adalah bentuk kebahagiaan itu sendiri.

Kita adalah kado untuk perayaan perpisahan di tiap hidup seseorang.
Awal kita adalah degup jantung kencang yang membuat rasa penasaran,
sebelum akhirnya napas kita tersengal-sengal.

Even the rainfall,
the mind grows high to the sky
tell you flying by.

The best people
are those around you
right now.
Love them,
and acknowledge
that they are the people
closest to you,
not in the past,
or who you dream of
in the future.

I stop reading you
I decide to write
I write all about you
You become my poem
I stop reading you
And I get lost
I get you to stop reading me
We are in a story

Have you ever found me in my blank poetry?
I try to write something.
But it's too hard to think.
So I left my page without ink.

She's so beautiful,
so I let her go from me.
Beauty is nothing.

I turn off the lamp.
I see myself in the dark.
I am the light on.

I set myself not to be in love
in the same way I'd ever taken
because sometimes I know
I will get the same pain
and give me the same wound.

I set myself not to be in love
with the same person in the past
even though it will be hard
to challenge myself to forget
and also to pass,
because the memories still stay
and I will say that's the last.

I set myself not to be in love
but I think my heart opens
and my feeling is hidden treasure because all I have is only the way
I can keep my own, that's enough.

Please take me in your dream!
And I can always be with you there
And I can always see you there
And I can always look after you there
And I can always hold you there
And I can always hug you there
And I can always kiss you there
And I can always hear you there
And I can always feel you there
And I can always do what you want do
Even though you want me to back the reality and realize it is only a dream!

She is loved
by me.
I am loved
by the others
I don't meet and know before.

Don't be afraid, ants!
I will share sugar for you,
the sweetness of life

You don't let me dream!
You dont' let me take my way!
This is full of scream!

On my head there's flame.
It will be exploded, ****!
Give me hold tight, then!

We are clouds hanging from rain and hope and farewell.
Shortly after you asked for a clear sky and I failed to provide it in your eyes.
Whether we have spent several times; in cities,
on the streets,
in the park,
in the cinema,
on-campus,
in the library,
and in the last place, we parted.

We go home.
We return it.
Everything from the beginning, in your eyes that always provide my presence.
We return and return,
in the last place, we parted.

We will learn from each other; to hate life, to love leaving.
Because life is just a game;
love
and
hatred.
Because love is just a game; let go of a go
and
accept the fact.
Then we return and return to the last place we parted.

We return those who left and do not belong to us, because we never asked for failure as the main goal.

If at any time there are clouds in your head,
the rain will fall on my heart.
Falling among the leaves,
between words,
between poetry,
and between certainties.

Don’t leave me alone
Don’t leave me alone in this way
I am too afraid to come back
And also to go to seek another
I forget that I had done with you
But everything I can remember is only the days I spent with you
And now it goes without you
The smell of you which the wind blows through my nose is my favourite fragrance
I love all about you
Don’t leave me alone
Don’t leave me alone in this way
I am here to wait for you
Don’t you want me as I've stood here?
The days we spent together
Now is going to be sweet memories
Did you see me as you see a reflection in the water?
Is it all you can see now?
Please don’t leave me alone
I am still here
Waiting with all love

Indonesia, 19th September 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho

Same bed
Same love
Same memories
Same old fashion
Same favorite food
But we have our own new stories.

No measure of happiness,
no need to compare.
Life is a way
we enjoy our own parties.

That's the pretty day--
Cigarette burns out.
My finger's fallen by sparks.

I hide in the light.
     You look for me in the dark.
     We will never meet.

My head feels dizzy
And this life is not easy
There is a war there

When you feel
you are so tired
to do all the same things
in everyday,
what you need
is just a good sleep.

I think how to start
You hope you do not get hurt
We are not a part

I
sit
here
smoking
cigarretes
at
1
in
the
morning
and
order
you
from
my
mind.

If you want to go--
Please, do not take my heart too!
I have only one.

Every single poem always tells about the secret of life that love is hidden by every single poet.
The words cannot be their own.
Every single feeling must be told, not only by their mouth but also by their pen.
A poem is also a feeling.
No body knows,
so does the poet.

At 1 a.m.
There is a girl
who
       j
         u
            m
                p
in my head.
I give my hand
and she gives her hand too.
She talks to me
what if we walk together
in a dark night.
I say, okay.
She talks to me
before going
she wants me
to hold on her hand tight.
I say, okay.
But,
I have many questions
which I have to ask.
What about if
I reject her
by saying no?
I swear
she will die
in suicide
because she
                  j
                   u
                     m
                        p
                          e
         ­                   d
in my head
and I didn't help her.

Many Palestinians died in being killed by Israeli armed soldiers
Why are many citizens of the world silent and as if they don't know anything?
So many people don't care?
They said it is a political problem
They said it is a religious issue
They said even though we speak up it doesn't change anything
This is a humanitarian problem
This is a form of colonization
It is a matter of peace
Those of us who do not live in Palestine may be able to live comfortably and peacefully
Without fear
Without any worries
Without feeling sad
And without crying
But, have you ever imagined how those who live there?
The bomb explosion came unexpectedly
The rocket came unexpectedly
Destroying the buildings
Destroying houses
Destroying residences
Many people have no place to live
Many people are hungry
Many people died and were injured
Many people are sad and grieving
War is not a solution
Occupation must be abolished
Peace has the right to be upheld
Zionism is a form of colonization
Never be silent for all forms of oppression and violence
Because silence is a form of agreement
Be care because we are all human
We are all human
And be human

I'm hugging the words--
     but not as warm as your hug.
     Get me a blanket!

Should I fall in love with people that I never meet before? I say no, thank you. I don't want to be someone who will fall. Maybe you have to think it is  hard, your life is not to be about fall in love. The problem is why some people think you have to fall when you are in love. I mean let the love fall onto you. But when you don't get it, you just stay that you will be fallen in love by yourself. Please appreciate yourself, day by day, and little by little. It could mean your are in a *******! Never mind! I said thank you.

I dream.
I dream on you.
I dream on you and also miss you.
I dream and meet you in the sky.
In the night, I am a star.
In the night, you are the moon.
We become a galaxy.
I dream.
One day, I hope get there, with you.
And I don't dream again.

In the morning
when I started to love myself,
I found myself smile,
I saw that face
on the broken mirror
I used to stay.
I love that part
when the sun
comes to my room
I feel that moment
was the precious
I ever had.
Even though at the past,
when I loved you
when I thought you were mine
when I thought you wouldn't leave me
when I thought I will be always with you
when I felt I would not lose your beautiful smile I ever see
I never give my heart
space to love me, as myself.
Today
I still exist
at the present
and you had ignored me.

I am happy.

I am too young
to feel and realize
that the madness
had become my friends.
Nobody tells it
that what I feel never be end.
I said nobody.
I'm lost in every poetry.
When I realize, there is nobody in there.
I am a line that you read right now.
Did you see if there is nobody here?
I am too young
to feel and realize
that I am the foolish man
grown with many foolish things
arounds me.
Nobody sees it
and nobody realizes
if there is nobody here
but YOURSELF.

Which is more *******;
puddle, or
memories?

It is just only what I think,
and you may reject it.

It will be boring if one day you get someting beautiful of your day
and you never get something fool again,
I said your life is going to be cool.
It means your day will have another colours.
If it happens to you someday,
you will realize that you are in stand away in this universe.
Look at your body from the bottom.
Your feet will step on the ground.
The existence that you might have be found.

If one day,
or maybe that day you realize that,
please follow one way
that it is close to you.
It seems like close with your heart.
It will lead you
and you will get to hear more heartbeats.

How's cold this coffee--
I'd go to warm my body.
This day's so badly.

I sleep on the bed--
      Anxiety joins it.
      I get a nightmare.

I turn on the fan--
My wet hair flies in the wind
I'm getting sleepy

Stars shine in my head--
My bedroom is full of light.
I'm in outer space.

Time by time, you came--
      One by one, you were so fun.
      What the hell, it's done.

Are you still waiting for me?
Until the end of the day
When I’m not waiting for you
And you realize the home is not enough
For you and I
Are you still waiting for me?
A stupid guy who never see you
And never think about you
The day will end someday
And we know we are not waiting for each other
What will you do?
Are you still waiting for me?