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 Jan 2018 g
Adrian
Moths
 Jan 2018 g
Adrian
There is a strange
Tingly sensation
In my stomach
When you are near
And when you speak to me
Or touch me
A sensation often described as butterflies
But they are not pure enough
To be butterflies
Because I know you don't feel them as I do
So they are moths
Moths
Because they are crowding your light
Moths in my stomach
Flying up
And up
And up
Through my windpipe
Choking me
And trying to reach you
And your blinding
Fluorescent light
 Jan 2018 g
Adrian
it's been a while since I've been up here
at least a year
sitting on the textured, plastic roof
of a child's playhouse
it resides permanently in my yard
despite having been outgrown long ago
outgrown like the flowers and weeds
that surround it
the flowers and weeds that are unkempt
like one's hair on a windy day
they blow in the wind now
and hit my feet
to my surprise,
when the flowers touch my toes
tiny white petals
drift into the air
showering my bare feet
with small snow-like specks
slowly, I shake my feet
and then kick the flowers
I laugh as the Ivory petals
descend into the air
and kick again
and again
and again
the flowers are almost bare now
and my time here is spent
I look out over the long grass of my lawn
it too is uncared for,
in the summer the owners of it
are never there to tend it
and in the winter
it dies anyway
a jungle of a backyard
swept by a summer breeze
leaves me feeling just a bit freer
 Jan 2018 g
Adrian
Secrets
 Jan 2018 g
Adrian
You wanna know a secret?
Just a you and me secret
just a little whisper in the dark secret
just a little take it to your grave secret
just a little silent confession
just a little tremor in the voice
and a quake in your step
a
please help I cant keep this in any longer secret
a
don't tell anyone I'd be ruined secret
but no one can keep those secrets,
can they?
they turn it into
a
don't tell them I told you this they'd be so mad
secret
or a
I'm only telling you because I tell you everything
secret
secrets are meant to be kept
but secrets rarely remain secrets
sometimes people aren't trustworthy
but maybe
maybe secrets aren't meant to be kept
maybe
just maybe
it's only natural
the way they sit in the back of your throat
and throttle you
making you want to turn them into a
god you won't believe what they just told me but don't tell anyone
secret
maybe
we have to tell secrets
if we want to let them go
if we don't want them to strangle us
grow into our flesh and
infect our bloodstream
and consume us until we are
our secrets
so can I tell you a secret?
just a you and me secret
if you promise you won't keep it
 Jan 2018 g
Adrian
I suppose
I might have liked you more
before you liked me
when you were a
castle in the sky
a faraway dream
for others to have and to hold
but not me
certainly not me
when you were a
shining vision
of unattainability
I suppose
I've always been this way
always wanted more
wanted what I can't have
bored when I get it
always wishing
always wanting
dragging myself through the pain
in order to say
"look, I survived it
look, how strong I am"
nevermind
that I caused it
so I don't know
if I can deal with
your sudden attainability
don't know
if I can coerce myself through
the boredom of
happiness
 Jan 2018 g
saint
-5/11 5:48PM-
I’m sorry, goodbye.

-5/11 7:03PM-
I miss you.

-5/11 11:54PM-
I miss you.

-5/12 12:02AM-
I miss you.

-5/12 12:23AM-
I miss you.

-5/12 2:34AM-
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you I miss you i miss you I miss you.
I love you.

-5/12 7:15AM-
I miss you.

-5/12 6:44PM-
I miss you.

-5/13 8:12PM-
I miss you.

-7/03 1:31AM-
I loved you.

-7/26 5:16PM-
I miss you.

-12/31 11:59PM-
I miss you.

-01/01 12:00AM-
I
miss you.
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