ACT I

Scene 1

Scene: A fleet of small boats on a open sea, carrying a flock of poets, actors, and musicians. They row into the distance, searching for land.

fool

Oh, the horror, the horror! The deadly locked eyes, the motionless limbs, the gray lips, telling me it is the end, no more, horror or else. I felt it too, at moments, though something else; what I felt was the sudden fear of death, what might come afterward, and the loneliness of this solitary journey. I had to escape.

Benedict

Yes, those lost half-lives of inevitable and unrecoverable tragedy, the guilt, unable to close in, and so moving away from the sorrow. Turning eyes away from the horror, no, get away from them entirely, let none of them escape with us. The tragedy, the grotesque demons.

FOOL

Yes, let them not chase us toward the end of the vast and endless voyage, and if we die so, let it be quick.

BENEDICT

Quick, by the thundering strike of heavenly signs, let us be at peace.

Virginia

Oh, no more, no more. Leave those thoughts behind, send them to exile as we have been for our refusal of "high tragedy."

Fool

So, it shall-(The Fool stands up, squinting to the distance.) Look! Is that a patch of dry land?

BENEDICT

Yes, our salvation of isolation, our comedic Garden of Eden!(A roar of cheers from all, though each voice distinct on its own.)

Scene 2

The troop have landed on the unnamed island.

Argorn

Here we shall be settled.

VIRGINIA

What a handsome little place!

Katty

Then we shall make it our home!

northworth

Home, yes, but home of what? A wild circus of cowards?

BENEDICT

No, cowards of tragedies but advocate of joy, happiness, and comedy.

Fool

Comedy! We are the Comedians!

NORTHWORTH

Very well, so we are.

VIRGINIA

Yes, laughter and happiness.

Argorn

We shall not only avoid tears, anguish, and sorrow, we shall make them crimes of criminals, we shall uphold only the Highest Order of Comedy!(In the distance, a ship carrying the mimes arrives.)

NORTHWORTH

Oh, look, so the mutes are here as well.

ARGORN

(To the mimes as they arrive.)

Wipe your black tears off your faces! Leave only the red smiles, we are a tribe of comedy not tragedy. (They do as they have been told.) There, better.

NORTHWORTH

Ah, here comes the musicians. (A band of cheerful flute, drums, and violin players arrived.)

Argorn

(To the Band)

Yes, very well, you shall never again play any sad little tune and lure me to anger!

VIRGINIA

Be gentle, Argorn, for only peace shall visit you.

NORTHWORTH

Yes, criminal, anguish, and sorrow, are the horror! They are criminal, criminal!

The band

We promise you only tunes of celebration will be heard on this lovely paradise!

argorn

Very well.

Scene 3

The band plays a cheerful little song while the mimes dances silent to the music. The actors and poets are reading poems of merry endings.

Fool

Oh, her tears, like blossom petals, have fallen and are gone forever.

ARGORN

The sun approves of our sanctum! Look, how the minions of clouds take flee!

NORTHWORTH

Yes, presently they do.

VIRGINIA

Only when morrow comes, shall we be certain of our well-being.

ARGORN

WE WILL BE WELL! FROM DAY TO THE NEXT, THE VILLAINOUS DARKNESS WILL NOT REACH US HERE, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.

katty

Keep calm, keep calm.

NORTHWORTH

Yes, settle, joy will only come when you are unaware of its flaws and when you take no notice of the hidden misery.

ARGORN

No! Tragedy is horror, tragedy is criminal, it should only be fought, contained and send to exile.


Scene 4

The cheerful tune of the band have slowed with weary into a lingering sad tune, the mime have slowed their dance, and the drawn smiles drips down into a frown.

Argorn nails a notice to a tree. It says, Laws of Comedians.

Argorn

Stand up, you slothful infidels! You have once again turned what could have been joyous and merry into despair!

NORTHWORTH and Virginia

Argorn, you have burdened and slaved them with works of oppression, they are not happy!

The band and the Mimes

Yes, we beg you. Please let us rest, or the music will only be sadder.

ARGORN

No! Rest and what? Allow tragedy to intrude! No, be alarmed, be on guard. We will battle sorrow to the end.

fool

Argorn, only you are the advocate of pain and tragedy!!! You are fighting yourself!

Argorn

WHAT DID YOU DARE SAY?

fool

I dare say, you are what drowns us with slaving pain!

(Argorn advance toward The Fool with a hammer, and knocks him dead.)

Virginia

No, he is dead! Argorn have slain Fool.

ARGORN

Say more, and death or exile awaits you!

NORTHWORTH AND VIRGINIA

(In fear and deviance.)

No, we will send ourselves to exile.

Argorn

And the music!

(The band and mimes quickens their pace, the music and dance does not sound joyful however, but in a rushed mess, it rings of fear. )


Scene 5

The Band and Mimes are lying on the ground, being worked to death by extreme exhaustion trying to bring joy and music for Argorn.

Argorn

Play! Your fools! Why have you all stopped!

(Argorn rushes to where the bodies lay, and stops.)

Oh, are you dead already? Someone else, come and take their place! Don't let the little tune expire!

Katty

(In tears.)

No, I rather be dead to be mocked by your horror! You are a monster!

ARGORN

How dare you cry?

(Argorn kills Katty with the hammer.)

What do you say Benedict, keep the joy alive?

BENEDICT

No, you fool, what do you say is the most horrendous of a tragedy?

ARGORN

Death, I fear.

BENEDICT

Then, who is most foul of a tragedy?

ARGORN

The tyrant of a villain, champion of bloodshed, and one without conscience.

BENEDICT

Then, please, find your conscience, and see around you, the blood, and decaying bodies. What have you done?

ARGORN

NO! NO! I killed them for comedy!

BENEDICT

Yet, what you brought is tyranny, bloodshed, and death.

Argorn

Do you mean I am the villain? Then, please, in the Law of Comedian, execute my execution.

BENEDICT

No, I shall only take my exile now, and leave.

ARGORN

Then, I shall bring peace to this inferno once and for all. (Argorn kills himself, and falls. )

Curtain

My starless nights have transcended into your shadowless morn

My lost fireflies have transcended into your guiding stars upon the sky

My tears of dews and rain have transcended into your ocean of fulfillment and happiness

My scattered breadcrumbs of thoughts have transcended into your tome of love and life

My moments of a passing glance have transcended into your eternity of within my sight

My fear of everything have transcended into your love of all beings, earthly and otherwise

And I

My lonesome I have transcended into your ever-presence

As you hold me through every particle of my soul

I felt alive

Sharp twinges burst through my body like fireworks in the dead of the night

And finally

The blink of me transcended through time

In truth, my love for you is more like gunpowder
Than mere candle light
Thus I had to light them one by one
And so distantly

I kept them between metaphors
and more subtle words of my burning desires
So that you’d never be hurt by its fury

I held so much loss in my hands
That I could see it everywhere
That I could never be surprised
By its appearance

After every expected parting
I moved on without much of a scar
As I was callous with all of my faults
And you’d never have to mourn for a full heart
Never have to mourn for a heart that’s
Never gained, never lost

But, you softened me,
Cut me open with shards of your soul
And I fell in love with the pain
With your sorrow

Yours was the light of life I could never lose
Once held inside of me, I would never again
Bear the darkness

How I wish I could wake and walk beside you
How I wish to read to you in my voice and not my words
How I wish to be close to you not in inference from silence
But in laughter and teary smiles
To walk the streets of Toronto,
To Paris, to Florence, to Barcelona
See every Van Gogh, Rodin, Gaudi,
And even Otto Dix and Ghiberti
To hear old tales of the tenements
And relive ancient dreams through the operas in New York City
We could even go to places less worldly
To see ghost in the streets of York
And greet sir Newton’s spirit in Westminster Abbey  
And there’s a bookstore in Venice I had always wanted you to see



Yet,
I dare not even wish for a kiss
For
I did not want you to see me
In the light of real life
And extinguish the fire that kept me sane
Kept me alive

I could not bare to lose you completely
So I let my words be there for thee
But I see you have found words better
Than any born within me
And so I thought of taking my leave
For though few would love you as fiercely
All will love you better and calmly

How I wish I could love and hold you freely
Tightly and fearlessly
Yet, I know I am not ready
A child so unkempt and messy
So fueled with readily jealousy
I am trying so hard at bettering
But I could not change so timely
I had to be certain when I held your hand
I would not hold it too tight or too loosely
I could never endure darkness without thee
Yet I cannot hold your fire momently
I know that you would never in a million years
Wait for such an unlovable me
Yet, I would hold my soul for you eternally
Making it more and more cozy
So that your fire could reside within
More comfortably
Even if you’re never burning for me

The air was as ancient as
The molds washed anew with the dew
I pushed on, backwards
Away from the rest of them
Prudent, and watchful
As if at any time,
When I avert my eyes
The sleeping soldier
Would read this as his cue
To attack, to ****.

I stumbled back
Accidentally bumping open a creaking door
I listened.
Drip, Drip, Drip
At times a rustle
At times, a shuffle
I even thought I heard whispers
And footsteps.
But, I knew I am prone to hallucination
So
I thought better of it,
And closed the door.
After we headed out,
We gave the worker his cue
And like ancient cataracts
The concrete poured.

When we have sealed the old
And welcomed the new
A voice inquired innocently,
“Where is Joe?”

There are lights in the sky
Each a lamp lit for someone else
And none for me

I’d sent flame after flame
Up there for you hoping that
One day they’d be bright enough
To reach you

To listen to your words of white heat warmth
That will send a wave of fire through
The void and light a billion stars
For me
Even if you didn’t intend to
Your words, your smile,
Even your silence is what
Lit up the sky for me
So that I saw besides everlasting darkness
And ever more endless shadow
There are life brewing in the silence
Though not for me

The silence only smothers, and suffocates me
Like an invisible hand tightly gripping onto my throat
Without me noticing, ever so violently
Yet ever so slowly squeezing harder and harder
Till I cannot breath, not knowing the reason why

It forces me down into the depth of the abyss
Till I am no longer one, but one with the shadow
One with the bottomless pit of despair and fear
Till I am no longer within the void, but am the void

Yet, when I saw you
When I met you
I was lifted up out of where I thought I belonged
And could hold against the weight
Of all that is without light
The gloom, the shadows, the night
The black of space
The silence that cries
And floated weightlessly
Above, below, and within
All there ever was, and will be
For, even though I know not how
My love for you
Has the power to lift me up:

Beyond the wild fields of stars
Beyond the glistening ocean of light
Beyond the dreamless darkness
Beyond the unkempt bed of life
Beyond the inescapable swamp of death
And beyond
All of time

To a place where only the existence of you
Holds out its shapeless hand to me
And lead me
Rather the merely dust, and breath of me
Through the void, to the empty vessel
Carrying all the pure
Feelings, senses, love, and even pain

Though it is a place
Way beyond the rays of any sun
Way beyond the circle of life
Way beyond decay and apathy
Way beyond flesh and blood

I saw every color
Every being
Every state of being
Every possible and impossible thing
Every time and space
Pass through the ghost of you and I
And cease to be
At least that’s what they appeared to be

The twinges, the sharp electric sparks
You sent through out every atom of my body
And every participle of my soul
Told me that

They are no longer life that exist exterior to us
But within us, or rather
They are us, were us, and will always be
As they have never existed otherwise
In and since that moment of eternity

I see every river through me
My blood and hair
Every fish, your touch
Every dancing seagrass
The joy your gaze ripples through me

I see every mountain and valley
All around you
Every bump on your skin
Every wave on your fingertips
Every stone and sharp edges, my pain
Every field my words of love unending

Every burning star
Dots our shining eyes
Every moon, every heavenly body
That passes, they are the fleeting
Yet never ceasing reflection of affections
Waltzing again and again across our sight
Playful like children
Not yet exposed to any worldly sorrow

Every bit of space without light
Every pit of pure darkness
Caves of eternal shadow
Every howling silence that plunders pass
They are too, forever part of our love
For
They are the pain of longing
That makes each moment of proximity
So frighteningly precious
Afraid to be lost, so keeping it close
Like a token of innocent love
Pass down through generations
Till no being of flesh and mind
Remains, yet the dust still holds
Tightly onto it
Never letting go

And,
At last
Every bit of you
Like water droplets through the given earth
Like sunshine in an inseparable bond with life
Like rains of stars that will never leave the sky
Have seeped, melted, and spread
Through every drop sweet and bitter of me
Till I am no longer just acquainted with living
But am the very dream of life.

There are lights in the sky
Each a lamp lit for someone else
And none for me

I’d sent flame after flame
Up there for you hoping that
One day they’d be bright enough
To reach you

To listen to your words of white heat warmth
That will send a wave of fire through
The void and light a billion stars
For me
Even if you didn’t intend to
Your words, your smile,
Even your silence is what
Lit up the sky for me
So that I saw besides everlasting darkness
And ever more endless shadow
There are life brewing in the silence
Though not for me

The silence only smothers, and suffocates me
Like an invisible hand tightly gripping onto my throat
Without me noticing, ever so violently
Yet ever so slowly squeezing harder and harder
Till I cannot breath, not knowing the reason why

It forces me down into the depth of the abyss
Till I am no longer one, but one with the shadow
One with the bottomless pit of despair and fear
Till I am no longer within the void, but am the void

Yet, when I saw you
When I met you
I was lifted up out of where I thought I belonged
And could hold against the weight
Of all that is without light
The gloom, the shadows, the night
The black of space
The silence that cries
And floated weightlessly
Above, below, and within
All there ever was, and will be
For, even though I know not how
My love for you
Has the power to lift me up:

Beyond the wild fields of stars
Beyond the glistening ocean of light
Beyond the dreamless darkness
Beyond the unkempt bed of life
Beyond the inescapable swamp of death
And beyond
All of time

To a place where only the existence of you
Holds out its shapeless hand to me
And lead me
Rather the merely dust, and breath of me
Through the void, to the empty vessel
Carrying all the pure
Feelings, senses, love, and even pain

Though it is a place
Way beyond the rays of any sun
Way beyond the circle of life
Way beyond decay and apathy
Way beyond flesh and blood

I saw every color
Every being
Every state of being
Every possible and impossible thing
Every time and space
Pass through the ghost of you and I
And cease to be
At least that’s what they appeared to be

The twinges, the sharp electric sparks
You sent through out every atom of my body
And every participle of my soul
Told me that

They are no longer life that exist exterior to us
But within us, or rather
They are us, were us, and will always be
As they have never existed otherwise
In and since that moment of eternity

I see every river through me
My blood and hair
Every fish, your touch
Every dancing seagrass
The joy your gaze ripples through me

I see every mountain and valley
All around you
Every bump on your skin
Every wave on your fingertips
Every stone and sharp edges, my pain
Every field my words of love unending

Every burning star
Dots our shining eyes
Every moon, every heavenly body
That passes, they are the fleeting
Yet never ceasing reflection of affections
Waltzing again and again across our sight
Playful like children
Not yet exposed to any worldly sorrow

Every bit of space without light
Every pit of pure darkness
Caves of eternal shadow
Every howling silence that plunders pass
They are too, forever part of our love
For
They are the pain of longing
That makes each moment of proximity
So frighteningly precious
Afraid to be lost, so keeping it close
Like a token of innocent love
Pass down through generations
Till no being of flesh and mind
Remains, yet the dust still holds
Tightly onto it
Never letting go

And,
At last
Every bit of you
Like water droplets through the given earth
Like sunshine in an inseparable bond with life
Like rains of stars that will never leave the sky
Have seeped, melted, and spread
Through every drop sweet and bitter of me
Till I am no longer just acquainted with living
But am the very dream of life.

I tried to water your love
The fragile dandelion
With droplets of my warm tears
To shield you from the
Scorching cold rain
The needle sharp pain
Of harsh words and unsaid things

I tried to carry your pain
The untouchable seeds of living
From a distant plain
For fear of shattering
Your soulful wings
If I breath too closely
With my unkempt wind
of gathering dreams

But, I only see you withering
Your heart shriveling
Your souls escaping
With the dust and rain

So I finally decided

To set your dreams free
Unbind the tightening blue strings
Of my own butterfly dreams
Let them spread their reluctant wings
And carry yours along the wind
Towards the land of forsaken things
As our souls dance and sing together
Carefreely unseen.

I am still your last leaf
Buried between the wintry blues
Holding on for you
Against the howling wind of
Silence

For
I won't be back in Spring

I will be here
Having never left

Oh love, how I should

To be able to sleep soundly

The Wonderful Sleep

Unawakened by life - Yue Yitkbel ****

Everything has been a little broken lately:
The screens
The lights
The coffee machine
Me
Other people
The hours...
Well, mostly me.

Everyday,
I used to look forward to you coming by,
and pay for your orders with your reassuring smile.
But, ever since you left,
Ever since you stopped coming by,
Things fell apart.
Nobody smiles anymore,
Nobody wants to be here anymore.
Especially me.
But, I am still here
Waiting,
Waiting to catch up to the past,
that abruptly slipped away from me:
Those days that were truly happy,
because I knew you’d always be there,
Not matter how momentarily.

I have fallen from this road that leads no where.
Hanging by a thread.
My hands are too full of loss to hold on.
But still I won't forget.
You were all that connected me to this world.
You and my regrets.
If I let go and let you go,
All dust would turn to death.

I once desired to reach the highest of heights
By the shortest route and using the shortest time
But now,
I take my time to be timeless.

I found him when I was born, and
Since, we’ve become friends.
He’s always around, but
I don't usually think of his existence as profound.
He is playful too.
Or you can say that he, like all of us, has an aggressive soul:
When I’m bored, he sleeps without sound.
When I’m joyful, he makes me shorten the song.
When I tell him to run,
He just shuffles along.
When I want him to wait,
Only seconds is he gone.
I thought it was just his nature,
Nothing wrong.
But one day,
I realize,
His trick for was for my slow death
While he, fed on my flesh, lives forever long.

Ode to The Epiphaner:

Verse:

So all the silence and emptiness
Is just so I can grow endlessly and free
Unobscured by the foliage’s density
All the oxygen won’t be stolen from me

If the soul and mind can’t hide
In the darkness of the night
How can I ever collect
The fruits of the dreams I strive

Let me
Climb upon barren rocks of greater heights
With the abandoned groves in sight
Every yield is mine
Sometimes a no man’s land
Can be the most beautiful place under the sky  

Chorus:

Those that despair, still care
While the silent continues to sing
The Epiphaner will always be here
For me, a long long road remains
But we will all take flight, we will all fly
Our wings will bid farewell to earth
But, there is still time
There is still time
One day, even time will die
Even time will die
Time will die
It will die

Bridge:

If only leaves and lone stars reside
In the ultramarine midsummer sky
How short and trivial will be my sight
I want to be the century-old desert tree
The Watcher of the waning moonlight
Without the ceaseless River of Praise
I still won’t go “gentle into that good night”


Verse:

Why only distance and unreachable gaze
Could testify the true believer’s faith
Like watcher of the lost, the pale moonlight
I have to shine bright in the starless nights

I have to lead the way
For the broken and dazed
For them to escape
This bleak and hopeless place

Upon the
Land of nothingness and desolation
The road is calm with a sure destination
I will be on time
One day I will be there
Perhaps still the only one
The Lone Soul basking on the other side


Chorus:

Those that despair, still care
While the silent continues to sing
The Epiphaner will always be here
For me, a long long road remains
But we will all take flight, we will all fly
Our wings will bid farewell to earth
But, there is still time
There is still time
One day, even time will die
Even time will die
Time will die
It will die

CODA:

If there are more vessels than waves
In the tides and curvature of time
How tedious would the voyage be
I want to be the eternity shadow
Ever unrequited, loving the sunlight
When all matters in the universe die
The abyss would still be my paradise

To Be Forgotten
By:Yitkbel
You love her.
To you, she is the flawless angelic presence graced
With the warm rays of a thousand spotless suns
But you are the devil
Surviving on nothing but the appetite of the dark abyss
Your strange and rare affection
Became your conscience
You begin to fear
That you will never be purged of
The stains of past bloodshed
And
Never be able to
Banish the rivulets of your inferno flesh
Nonetheless, your new found conscience gave you
A new set of wings, albeit it has now been
Stripped to its bare and charred bones
By the heat of your wrath
You still aim for the sky
And spread them for flight.
Even if you fall to your Eternal Rest
You would be content just to bath
In her light.
You don't crave paradise
You are just in love with the angel.
With a goddess divine
You crave for redemption,
For the purge
Just to vanquish the ****** flames
So as not to scorch her touch
Sometimes, you know
Your desperate desires
Are naught but asinine reveries
But a devil with a conscience
Can be burned by his own fury
So you long for the chill of heaven
Yet, when the suffocating silence
Is the only answer to your futile pleas
You understand Her Beauty is not
Yours to destroy
So, you let your own flames
Consume you
And let your ashes meld with the Earth
Far away from Paradise
So as not to shadow her privileged sunshines
Not to dim her light
At the end
You don't want a Requiem of Mourning
Befitting a hero's Heroic death
At the end
You bask in the silence
At the end
You don't wish for her to forget you
Because she was never aware of your existence
At the end
You only wish
To consign to oblivion
To be forgotten
Not by all
But by yourself
By time

No matter how brightly I may one day shine among the stars,
                     I will never feel the warmth coming back to me
                     Through the distance
Never as much as I am feeling now
                    Cradling your fragile soul in my unyielding palms
Even if you are never burning for me
                    I will keep your flames alive
I will keep you safe
I will keep you warm

If you are someone that
Feels everything in its
Purest and sharpest ways

You will love and be loved
In a misunderstood and callous
Way

You will hear the silence
You will see no reaction
You will see caring eyes that look away
You will find someone that hides
In obscured place

You will feel their love
But the closer you get
The further they get away

But don’t give up
Don’t wait
If you wait
You might never hear their love
That they rather lose than
To it away

Open hearts are easily hurt
As they all say
So don’t expect them to
Express love carelessly
As they know it’s weight

They will be afraid to love those
That they know they will give
Their whole heart to
And thus be distant and away

Their silence hides a heart
That feels more than the same
Their distance keeps a soul
That rather hides away

If you wait
No worthwhile soul will stay
If you wait
A soul that feel as much as you
Will stay away:

A soul that feel everything
Might never show their love to you
Especially when they feel the same
Especially when they love you even more

They might seem always distance away
They might always be leaving and never stay
They might never say the words you want them to say

But, if you feel the same
If you feel everything in the sharpest ways
You would feel their suffering
And why they would hide away
Sometimes, you have to love them this way
This unreciprocated way

But, don’t worry
When you give your heart to them
They won’t throw them away
They might seem indifferent
And unloving to you
Because they love you
More than they can bare
Ever losing

So, love bravely with your already callous heart
Those that seem to back away
And don’t give up
The most beautiful souls will take eternity
To feel safe.

Love that needs reciprocation is merely a tourist,
that goes away when interest fades.
True love is love that grows stronger
Especially in dismay.

The dearth of love
Invites me to praise it
Yet, in praising
I fill it with only emptiness

So I must counter it
Oppose it with silence
And hope
The sudden calm
Brings back the seeker
That has never dreamt of the sea
But is now questioning
Why has the ocean stopped
Its call.

Transformation
-Yue Xing Yitkbel ****
Senile, Fragile
The old man struggled with his nervously useless last breath
And
Yields.
Accompanied by insignificant drops of tears
Always unnoticeably present with the passage of “time”
He goes away too
Miraculously shrinking, rotting and decaying
And
“Eventually” blends in with the rest of the wise drool dusts
Transforming to almost frightening
Subtly dark and sane flowers
Impatient to invade
And conquer those stepping her upon the foolishly stupid “ground”
Yes, I am, in all “contradicting” frustration
Announcing my impurity as human flesh.
His helpless soul is hopefully gone
To the Godly realm,
Where, divinely, with ecstasy, unknown, sets all the earthly rules with ease
And without necessity

You will remember me
   Not by my presence
       But my absence
                    

And, even that
      Will just be a passing thought.

Enlightenment isn’t the discovery of the already known.
     No need to illuminate where the sun had already shone.

I. The Roads Endlessly Traveled

The Truth may be hidden and infallible
It can’t be said the same for its roads
For all past voyagers false or true
Will leave marks, endless trails of clues
A path may be closed
Others cut through
Wind and dust, and overgrowth
May cover and obscure a shallow few
And though light footprints oft lose to leaves and dew
We can’t blame them all for us being astray still
        If we stomp out the old
        And naively begin anew
Then we will truly be lost
To unknowingly retrace
Footpath already abandoned and used



II. The Miner and the Gardener

And now there are two ways
One clear path to the garden of reason
Always in the open, clear as day
And
Another a tunnel to either valleys or caves
Ever shrouded behind a gateway obscured
Dark in passion, fright or daze

And there are two travellers
Workers searching for the same

  The one of the tunnel
  Always mines for ore
Dreaming to one day find the sunkissed
Palace

The other of the garden
Constantly gather berries
To fill his insatiable hunger for sweet
Sense and wits

Till now
Both of them have gathered more than
They’ll ever need or use

What pleasant wonder, and departure from this
Tedium  
Could they discover if they would switch places

Would the gardener of sense
Finally have a vessel for his fruits
Unused
To not be sullied
And preserve
For all men and women, and children to enjoy
Always, anytime in any season
From summer days of knowledge
To even wintry days of reason

Would the miner of lofty dreams
Rejoice in the replenishing of strength
Forevermore
Sipping the sugary wine
Of ceaseless ideas
Along with his gardener mate
And ***** friends of all earthly grace
All the more stronger
To altogether breach
And reach The Forever
Cloudless Place



Where the sun never sleeps,
But only dreamy coze will we embrace.

Verse:


I held your trinket soul in my palms

And watched it turn into stars

As they rise up high above my

Empty, numb, cold, weary sky

Each one took flight like fireflies

And entered into my every dream

Every dream day and night

Transcending through time


Chorus:


Watch how they rest upon street lights

Twirl and dances through life

Woven like music notes through

Each beat of my heart and soul

My love, my trinket soul

They know they know


Verse:


I kept your trinket soul in my heart

And spoke them into words

As they bloom into every flower

Every leaf of verdant green

Dandelions with open wings

Across my field of love unending

Waking every soul in sight

Every loving heart and mind


Chorus:


Watch how they fly through blue sky

Hand in hand like you and I

Scatter among cloudy lines  

Music notes on the heartstrings of life

My love, my trinket soul

I know I know


CODA:


Every word of love you never say

Like a typewriter on my soul

Though the sift of time may sort
Beyond our comprehension, unseen
We may infer its shape from
Whatever marbles remain
Unbroken, and defying decay

Grains of truth and wit with just enough
Substance and optional glamour
To survive the great mesh of necessity
And bright enough to be cherished
By well nourished seekers of more
Never too dull, lest overlooked
But also
Never too bright to incite fright

Never one of innumerable sand
Washed away with the prints of men
And
Never a fabled relic, stranger to hands
A maze promising truth, yet with no end

The sun brings you warmth
The moon guides your flight
The Needed begs no envy
But relieves your plight

So don't distance yourself from
The thoughts of Old
Still so simple and intimate
As if in voices new

Raise a drink
And warmly cling
Love the great tomes of high above
Not as never reachable untouchable
Shrines of forgotten kings and gods
But as your dearest friend or perhaps
Even as a reunited lover, long separate
By the scarcity of soul pouring words
Reluctantly replaced with fleeting
Musings of often rapidly dissipating
Bland taste
Of fulfillment and disappointment
Never lasting enjoyment

Leaving us with hunger and thirst
For the seasoned fruits of old
That only visits ever so often
But each moment with, spent so
Cherished and with fear of time
Passing, as
A childhood tale, swiftly unfold,
Too briefly told
Left dreaming for once more
Often only to be granted in pages
Wrinkled and stained, shaped
By fate’s mold

Those pals that you’ll ever remember
Those gems that you’ll constantly
Caress over and over again
Those greats of highest degree
Are they so overdressed till envy
Till too heavy, and invites mockery
Are they so kissed by sugar till ****
Unconsumed, banished to rot

They are all soft and familiar
Always with the present
Of the ease to comprehend
As if you know them
All your life

Your Blakes, Shelley's and Shakespeare
Your timeless contemporaries
They never command as gods above
Or hide behind too much whimsy
Always a wise elder, a ***** friend
In sorrow, in passion, in dreams, in fright
Baring the truth like a mother’s wisdom
Or the sure brightness of lone stars at night

Prepare yourself for tomorrow sifts
By sharing the shape of collected past
In essence, not in likeness
For if you dress your soul
To not fall through
In great stones’ cast off dust
When the brush of time greets you
Your disguise will fall off
Lest you waste your growth
On shimmering cloaks
And when judged truly
To be found not as a pearl
But a grain in others’ clothes

Imagine
If you fill the entire night sky with sparks
How will they find the one guiding star
No shadow to hide, to soften the light
Everyman be lost

If you pride yourself bearing golden straws
They will shower you with praising remarks
But when time leaves you behind after dusk
It’ll be dark as you crush

So tread plainly with only what and
All you are
With timid steps, and light feet
And only must in your keep
You’ll go far You’ll go far
Till steady heights beyond the lofty larks

Where children ceaselessly dream
Where children ceaselessly sing
Where Children Forever, we are.

I am holding onto you like an old cloth bound book
A short story just slightly out of time
Brief, nostalgic
Some distant dream I will never get to live.

You swim in my mind like a lost buoy I can no longer reach
Slowly floating away further, and further
Till I can only grasp a momentary glimpse of it,
between the waves of memories.

I regret ever letting it go this far
Ever letting you go.
But even if you stayed,
I knew you were never going to be mine,
As you were anchored to the sea.
While I am just swimming around you,
trying not to drown.

Still,
I tread,
Struggle to stay afloat in the same spot you left me
Not giving into the pull of the abyss
Just in case you were brought back by the turbulence,
the turbulence of time.

I always knew you were a beautiful bird
But I thought I was one too
I thought one day we could sing together
If only I flew close to you
But as I danced and twirled to no avail
I looked into the mirror in your eyes
Hurt and confused
It was then that I finally saw
It was then the truth unveiled
I was merely twigs and leaves
Intertwined with self-deceiving hues.

So I took it all off
Sat bare in autumn's fallen clothes,
Mourning the loss of my illusive muse.

(I finally knew,
That to you,
I was merely invisibly blaring
In front of an all too ordinary view.)

There are infinite numbers of me

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the predestined fabric of time

Yet there is only one of you

Of which

I seem to be fated

To gaze upon

Love helplessly

Never possess

And eventually

Lose completely


And lose you I did

What I never had


Yet the love itself

Was never lost


It was just always

There


Faithful as a child

Running wild and free


A distant

And endless green

Pasture


Praising

Chasing

Flower after flower


Without ever so much

As a touch


For fear of its withering


But mostly

Because it ever

Eludes me


Yet

How can I be

Forever everywhere


Except

Where you are to be?


There are infinite numbers of you

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the everlasting Pasture

Of Love


Yet

There is only one of me


In time and in space

I might have passed you

Regretfully


But in Love

I believe

We're still destined

To meet

And

To be

There are infinite numbers of me

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the predestined fabric of time

Yet there is only one of you

Of which

I seem to be fated

To gaze upon

Love helplessly

Never possess

And eventually

Lose completely


And lose you I did

What I never had


Yet the love itself

Was never lost


It was just always

There


Faithful as a child

Running wild and free


A distant

And endless green

Pasture


Praising

Chasing

Flower after flower


Without ever so much

As a touch


For fear of its withering


But mostly

Because it ever

Eludes me


Yet

How can I be

Forever everywhere


Except

Where you are to be?


There are infinite numbers of you

Running, existing, dreaming

Upon the everlasting Pasture

Of Love


Yet

There is only one of me


In time and in space

I might have passed you

Regretfully


But in Love

I believe

We're still destined

To meet

And

To be

And thus the heaven opened
Its wizened eyes
Amidst the bellows
Of a thousand nymphs

As Galdaute manifested
Himself within the curtain
Of a billion stars
In threads of darkness
And engulfed the city
In heatless flames
That flowed like a river
Through every living being
And took their breath
With him

For he was the descendant
Of Adalien, who himself
Was born between
The First and Second Age
The Age of Fire and Water
Forged within the clash
Of the two wearied tides
Tides of magma and water

Adalien lead the Golden Age
Of Vaharath
The Age of Terra
Or
Agarahth
Through eons of fruitful prosperity
Borne as gifts from the Earth
Until the birth of
Kahthurn
Who covered the Earth
With veils of wondrous
Yet unreachable stars
And lead an Empire
Of Eternal Night

The Sun won’t rise again
For another epoch
Until the birth
Of
Galdaute

Whom
As he swallowed
The Remaining
World of Kahthurn
Brought back all life
That which is good
And begun
The Final Age of Varahth
The Age of Balance
Of both night and light
Of Sunrise and Sunset
Of Fire, Water, Earth, the stars
And the Sun
The Age of Life
Vitah

I wish we could converse in verses
Like what lovers used to do
But no matter what you say to me
In words, in smile, in silence
My world, my dreams, my sunrise
Would still be written all over
With my unchanging love for you.

My every thought had a life

My every thought was a living soul

Whose very birth and death begin and end

With the existence of you


I have never truly felt such joy

Rippling through every atom within me

Each blooming into a sea of wildflowers

A sea of every living thing

Playful, wild and free

Until I've met your eyes

Until I've met your smile


When you rushed into my presence

I've not just suddenly seen the light

But felt its wrath

Felt its everlasting warmth

Felt its very presence

Merely standing distances away from

You

Letting it consume me

Letting it wrap its invisible arms around me

Seep through my being

And transform me into a

Vessel carrying only love and fear


I've been asking questions all my life

Asking to be accepted

Asking to be fearless

Asking to be loved

And thought I needed answers


Yet the moment I saw you

And every moment when you were

Within my sight

I've readily forgot how to fear

How not to let happiness through

I've even forgot my own existence

Let alone its troubles and tears


And then, came the darkness:

What you have brought with

Your presence

You've taken them with you with

Your absence

And as you turned your back and

Walked away

The joy followed you

Then the light

Then my very dream of sleepless nights

My very dream of living

Until only the dreamless, the starless

Were left

To tear me away from my own soul

To break apart my every living particle

And along with the unbearable and breathless

Pain of its tearing, hurl each of them

One by one, into the abyss

Of loveless silence

And pointless existence


I've savored the twinge of its tearing

Endure the pain of its death

And rejoiced at this everlasting suffering

Knowing my love for you is true and endless


In the end, may it never end,

If I were to never love you

I'd only wish upon you

The heat and wrath of this joy

You've once gifted to me

And never, for a moment

Feel this pain, and suffering of your

Absence

Even, if I'd have to endure them

Eternally

For you

How much poetry live within me

Or am I merely a vessel

That has to be loaded and unloaded

To not waste away under the calm wind

And sink to a weighted depth of silent

And unfulfilled dreams


Yet what is the use

Carrying a soul from an unwritten land

To an unread land

Both dotted with footprints of past voyageurs

But no path or end in sight


Perhaps I am destined to be an unnamed pilgrim

That treads upon and whose marks will be tread upon

The wasteland of hapless ambitions

Transforming it into a garden of everlasting

Love, freedom, and hope


There,

You may find me one day

Though you will not know it

Nor will I

Within a petal of the rose

A dust in the dew

The wings of a honeybee


And if you look closely,

Listen closely

Within the laughing wind

As the gale brings all of us

Across the sea

Carrying vessels after vessels

From dream to dream

Our love was the
Distant and untainted
Patch of ****** snow
I should have never touched
And disturbed

For I now sit with inevitable regret
Mourning for
The muddied loss
Of a possession
That never were
Nor
Could it have ever been.

Waiting
-Yitkbel, June 11, 2016, Shalang

Waiting,

To see you pass by

Without saying hi

But your eyes smile

And I know why

That’s all I need from your love:

To hold you within my sight

To let your appearance catch me by surprise.

I’d forego death and finality

For an eternity of just standing by your side

I loved you everyday as the
Very first day and the very last

From the moment the sun opens its blinds
I hear
The initial breath of always the loudest
Silence
From your transparent soulful eyes
To your total lack of words

I saw nothing else but you and felt all
There could have ever been

Brief little lightnings ripple through me
And in their place

Waltz the fearless blossoming of every atom within my timid body, timid everything
Giving you all of me in a single mindless moment
Timeless yet so fleeting
Till I shed every petal of my soul
And shrivelled up to what’s to come

Through the wind
They flower in your footsteps
Yet form a fading path not to you
But to the abyss of imminent loss-

When you turn your back for the day
Or since the day you walked away
When I awake from my only truth-
When I meet your name in my dreams
(For I dare not dream of thee)-
When I truly feel the longing pain of living

In your absence
I fall
Everyday in breathless suffocation
Pleading for your presence
Through the darkness of this bottomless pit-
That’s only occasionally accompanied by my own rain-
Formed when the support and ground of your being
Mercilessly tore away from me

In your happiness
Distances away from me
How I wish to land
And gift you my final absence
And take away the presence
Of my helpless unwanted
Affection

Yet the cycle always repeats
And I have no choice but to
Joyously suffer for
This love
Swept in and swept away
By the wind

I loved you everyday as the

Very first day and the very last

From the moment the sun opens its blinds

I hear

The initial breath of always the loudest

Silence

From your transparent soulful eyes

To your total lack of words

I saw nothing else but you and felt all

There could have ever been

Brief little lightnings ripple through me

And in their place

Waltz the fearless blossoming of every atom within my timid body, timid everything

Giving you all of me in a single mindless moment

Timeless yet so fleeting

Till I shed every petal of my soul

And shrivelled up to what’s to come

Through the wind

They flower in your footsteps

Yet form a fading path not to you

But to the abyss of imminent loss-

When you turn your back for the day

Or since the day you walked away

When I awake from my only truth-

When I meet your name in my dreams

(For I dare not dream of thee)-

When I truly feel the longing pain of living

In your absence

I fall

Everyday in breathless suffocation

Pleading for your presence

Through the darkness of this bottomless pit-

That’s only occasionally accompanied by my own rain-

Formed when the support and ground of your being

Mercilessly tore away from me

In your happiness

Distances away from me

How I wish to land

And gift you my final absence

And take away the presence

Of my helpless unwanted

Affection

Yet the cycle always repeats

And I have no choice but to

Joyously suffer for

This love

Swept in and swept away

By the wind

I loved you everyday as the
Very first day and the very last

From the moment the sun opens its blinds
I hear
The initial breath of always the loudest
Silence
From your transparent soulful eyes
To your total lack of words

I saw nothing else but you and felt all
There could have ever been

Brief little lightnings ripple through me
And in their place

Waltz the fearless blossoming of every atom within my timid body, timid everything
Giving you all of me in a single mindless moment
Timeless yet so fleeting
Till I shed every petal of my soul
And shrivelled up to what’s to come

Through the wind
They flower in your footsteps
Yet form a fading path not to you
But to the abyss of imminent loss-

When you turn your back for the day
Or since the day you walked away
When I awake from my only truth-
When I meet your name in my dreams
(For I dare not dream of thee)-
When I truly feel the longing pain of living

In your absence
I fall
Everyday in breathless suffocation
Pleading for your presence
Through the darkness of this bottomless pit-
That’s only occasionally accompanied by my own rain-
Formed when the support and ground of your being
Mercilessly tore away from me

In your happiness
Distances away from me
How I wish to land
And gift you my final absence
And take away the presence
Of my helpless unwanted
Affection

Yet the cycle always repeats
And I have no choice but to
Joyously suffer for
This love
Swept in and swept away
By the wind

I hid my love behind a wall of silence,
Lest my heart hears it,
and in its unrest,
frighten yours away.

The deep ache of societal idleness
Of Invisible pain and the unscarred
Thirsty for a hunger, but never to starve
Have-alls more lost than have-nots
Overlooked by seekers of poverty
Unvalued by those just like us

Never close enough to death
To grip existence for dear life

What is the cure to such tedium
Why have we come thus far
Is this the usual tail of prosperity
Or is it a sign of an unprecedented leap

I feel and already see
Great changes coming
A looming gloom or the unimaginable haven
Keep faith in the excitement
Of the never before felt
State of being and
Living

With the wonder
Of a child dreaming of the unknown
With fear and fearless hope
And
Love for it all

I woke up in the middle of the sea
With the helm in my hands and
The vast emptiness in front of me
Every star has left me
I can only follow the moonlight
To find any familiarity

In a moment’s slumber
I seem to have been pulled into a maelstrom
A pit of pure darkness
Yet I saw all the stars
Like fireflies hiding in the
Shadows of the woods
I followed my wizened self
Through the nebulas and
Fell back into my childhood

I am within
Every field of wild grass
Every flash of light cast
Every flower and every lighthouse
Every shadow that flies past

The little feet both soft and callous
Like hummingbirds within leaves and twigs
Inexperienced and fearless
Hide within the isolated and timeless Garden of Love
To savor happily all the milk and honey

I morph myself within every being
From every cocoon to every soaring lark
And every star
I am the shadow of the night
And the colorless moon
Every traceless wind
And
Every unmarked storm

I am within every mirror
Every candlelight
Every reflection within your eyes
The untouchable dream
Within every tale through time

I place myself within everything
Only for that unexpected moment
Silent and speechless
Yet our souls echoing loudly through every breath
When I meet you again and again for the very first time.

When the sleeper ‘sleeps’

He wakes, on the other side

Of Plato’s Cave

And sees time and time again

Often in fragmented consciousness

The world that truly is

“Bigger on the ‘inside’”

“Smaller on the ‘outside’”


It’s like forever standing

Within a mirrored cylinder ring

Keeping faith to its seeming

Infinity

Even though only

Reflections are being seen


Reflections of the

Geometry of love

Thoughts

Unseen beings

Consciousness

And

Gravity


These and more

Floats around the exterior

Of this thin fabric of reality

Bumping into us occasionally

Letting us feel its obscured shape

But never witness its true property


Only through momentary slumber

When we open our minds eye

And peeks at the other side

When we drift away-

Unguarded by our perspective-

Through all of spacetime

And drift closer to the veil

As if through a plastic foil

Can we see and softly touch

The ‘matters’ of truth in life


See the wrinkles

And ripples in time?

That’s where runaway dreams

And forgotten past hide

You will see yours

And even all of mine


That’s why I can live

Again and again your happiness

And joys of mine

With near absolute clarity

Manifested through twinges

And longing

With the help of the night


That’s why

When the sleeper ‘wakes’

He can no longer

Bear this world of bright shadows

And must rush back

To the brilliant world

Under the dark sunlight


That's why

I leave the lies for the morning

And truth for the night

When you're weary of

My dazzling praises

You can dream among

The starry sentiments

Of my moonless sky

As the leaves fall
I lift myself up
To replace its abundant emptiness.

For the world has turned pale
Since the color returned to you
For I have become an empty book
Since I have been read and used
For I have been washed away
When the river of musings
Have dried up from
A storm of old stories of
Nothing new
That's never been told

Still
I'd rather be the white maple
Of short lived pleasant surprises
Of a kind of soul you never knew
Than the anticipated
Colorful few
Among
The vast insignificance
Of an all brilliant view.

It pains me to see mankind
In good faith and in boasting
Place ourselves above everything
Above all other beings
We pity those we deem less
Infants, animals, the poor, and even believers
When we can
Neither keep peace within the circle of life
Nor so instinctively level the balance of death

We wonder if dogs understand this world
As well as we do
When we can't even love loyally or truly be happy

We have even taken away
Our ability to be content with next to nothing
And deemed the best as those who have everything

Yet,
There's more wisdom in our inferiority
For truth and superiority lies not within
Possessions, capability of destruction, and
Already and actively retained knowledge

But
Our ability to
Learn
Accept
Adapt
Have a little faith in our feelings
And invisible things
Look up at those who love like fools
And
Admire those who are content with nothing

The sun doesn't shine on us
From underneath our feet
We must look up
And know that even when it's most bleak
And desperately cloudy
The fiery hope
Is still there
Only temporarily
Unseen

I'd love to sleep

the Wonderful Sleep

Unawakened by life.





#2

So it was actually

the Silence

that woke the dreamer.

When I was at the ripe age of dreams
Not yet wise enough to question its reality
I wished for a bird, and one flew to me
Thirsty and weary, resting on the cage
Of my bedroom window
Sent to teach me how to love
Love a life so precious and zealous
Joyous as the gold of its wings

I had no palace or mansion for her
So she was content to live in a
Crumbling cage
And happily in a cardboard box
She dreamt

Till one day
We decided to surprise it
With a brand new shelter
But a home it was not to be-
When I loved it the most
She left me
Sometimes life is best enjoyed
A little tattered
For perfection, flawless appearance
Hides poison beautiful and unseen-

I thought her home was home with me
But alas, to the everlasting she must leave
Spread its wings beyond the cloud’s seams
She left the new home not made for living
And went back to Him

On sleepless nights,
I fear I have failed Him
For far too long
I only learned to love not so much
And welcomed only hatred and envy

But everything must be what it’s meant to be
For through it all, I danced with everything
Love, joy, fear, envy, guilt, hunger, pain,
And even gluttony

Till I was sent another angel
This time, a red robin
Perhaps, never to bond
Momentarily
But ever to love
Protect, and
Keep.

You are everywhere I go

And everything I do

You're in my dreams

Of course, that's a given

And as I am painting

I find you within every brushstroke

Thin lines of memories

In every color and every hue

Drenching the canvas in

Deep saturations

I can never wipe away with

The cloth of time



And when completed

Whatever it is that I have painted

They form an everlasting

Yet ever changing image of you



As the scent of linseed

Catches me in a deeper reverie

I was brought to Paris

Brought to a world with you that

May never exist and will never exist

Yet feels so real and hopeful



I see days of innocent bliss

Within the highlight of the forms

And my deepest sorrow in the shadows

Of When I have lost you completely

To my wearisome persistence



Still as the paint dried

All my words, all of my love

Will have been cemented into

A masterpiece of you



And it will not be the end of it

The end of my affections

And manifestation of it

For from dust to dust

I will keep on

Preserving and protecting

My undying, and ever more

Wiser love for

You



For

You are my color,

The oil that binds every pigment

The canvas onto which

I can express all my emotions

Hopes and dreams

You are the brush that

Paints my soul so perfectly

The varnish that makes it complete

The frame that puts it altogether

The nail I will never leave

And in the twinges that seem to

Spread out and bind my heart

Whenever I think of you

You are every thread woven into

My every breath of life

It was always time
Time, time, time
Today, tomorrow, Saturday
Getting to work on time
Knowing when to be where on time
Counting days, hours, minutes
Seconds just to catch up to
One fleeting moment
Every single day
And forgetting all sorrows
Just for a pinch of happier memory
That went away in a flash
And was no more
But fading images in a
Still chasing mind

I became obsessed with time
With an hour, a minute
A date, a line of numbers
I wish to repeat  
In the same space-time
With the same gravitational object
In an everlasting event
That would pull me closer
Than my fear had ever let me

I even loved waiting
Anticipating
The knowing and inevitable
Disappointment that
Replaced the minute excitement
Of the once upon a time
I tried so hard to reverse
Knowing that
Even if I could alter the fabric of reality
I would never change
Fearing the loss of you
I’ve never had

Still,
I am waiting
Anticipating
Missing
You