When you kissed me, I lied.

I let you kiss me because I wanted someone to love me.  
I was selfish, I wanted to soothe my craving for attention, soft and kind love.

It’s because you’re warm and safe, I still do get the urge to trust you with love.
In fact you’re handsome while so insecure.

But I shouldn’t have kissed you, because I knew I didn’t want you but your aroma.
I chewed it and played with it to spare your feelings and to ebb my shame

but believe me, I’m happy to have made your acquaintance on that awful day that appeared on paper as perfect.
On the day when the last one I loved, introduced me to you

I don't care
I never did
I never will

I don't care about the stabs
I don't care about the lies
I don't care about the loss

I never did
I never will

I don't care about you abandoning me in the middle of nowhere or making me doubt every single person I meet or forcing me to look at the mirror and despise the foolishness I had.

I don't care about all the above.

I try to convince myself every night that I don't.
But, I do;
I fully keenly wholesomely do care and my care was my doom.

She had a chest of drawers
Longings from ankle up
Paper chips of lips
A made up mind of shells and nuts

She was unceremoniously
civil
Quick to  wink
Hand chilling icebergs
An immitation belt made of mink

She sang blues in pink
While spitting out punk
Indifferent to age
Pure as road **** skunk

"It's my life , I'll do what I wanna!"
As they put her in Paddy
Drove her insanely station
"Come now my Laddie!"

I'm
Tired
Of
B
R
E
A
T
H
I
N
G

Tired of

S
E
   E
    I
     N
       G

This hatred in humanity
And
The
Delicates
Being

T    O     R    N

Apart
So quickly
Without listening
To their glistening
Fragile
Beautiful words

As a child I lived my life the way my parents wanted,
After marriage the way my husband wanted,
Society wanted.
I was not perfect but I tried my best with my children,
Try my best to adjust,
Living on the opinions of others.
Now, as I am aging I want to live quietly and alone ,
I don't want anyone to judge me the way I live,
Let me be,
Do what I want to do,
Not do everything the doctor says,
Indulge in eating few things not allowed for me,
In limits,
At least my taste buds are happy.
13/11/2022

she soaks herself in his hurt
and it d
            r
            i
            p                
     ­       s                
                         o
                         u
                          t

of him
ever so slowly,
infecting her.
all she wanted was for him to be
drained
so he could live without pain
but now, she thinks
living is pain.