There's a line somewhere
and it's elusively hard to find
Between right and wrong
What happens when dragons shape-shift to demons?
There's a side to the line in which they then fall

This is a role reversal
In which the optimist becomes the realist
A balancing act of true natures

And nature is something the boy in my head does not have
He is the soul-less, the Trickster
Death himself
He deals in misery, control and steals it all back
Some things that happen in your head should never find their way to life

I will not let him,
through whispered words and backroom dealings,
convince you to hold his place
A soul for the soulless is not a fair trade

I'd much rather have you here than he
You are not a monster
No matter what you've done
You are the hurt, the happy, the right, the wrong
You are alive

Never trade that for something you were promised in a dream

tis but a spoken masterpiece
that sitteth 'gainst a rock,
yet silver tongues hath sharpened swords
they've yet to learn to shock.

heed, harken, with steadied palm
that which betwixt us lies,
for time, being time, seems true, but thus,
endears solely desecrate flies.

Ever stop to wonder if maybe the boy who cried wolf was telling the truth all along?

He pulled on their sleeves, day after day, year after year,
incessant, eyes wide and innocent with fear
Please, oh god, the wolf is coming!
He crouches down, arms flung over his head
Insufficient protection for what he knows is to come
They barely spare him an eye roll
Get up! Everyone knows you're nothing but a liar.

The problem was not with the boy
The boy had the problem
And he is not the one to blame
Blame it on the people who didn't care enough to look beyond the surface

The wolf, the boy moans

It's chasing him in his head
Just because they can't see it doesn't mean it's not there
to him
He shakes in terror, whimpering
The wolf, he's here

And what of the boy's sister?
She too is being hunted by the wolf behind her eyes
But always she's been told
Don't be like your brother, don't tell tall tales
See this is why children should be seen and not heard

So she's learned to bite her tongue
instead of screaming when she sees the wolf's ****** teeth appear
She's learned how to close her eyes, but not sleep
because she know the wolf waits for her there

And when the wolf finally stops taunting her and comes for doomsday,
she will never give a cry for help

because she knows no one would listen to her anyway.

So this is what it feels like to be powerful
To have brought forth something from nothing
To celebrate other's accomplishments
And to recieve respect tenfold for
All that you've given

So this is what it feels like to reach the end of the journey
To be surrounded by familiar faces one last time
To watch the future stand up and take your place
A candle once lit is blown out

So this is what it feels like to be released from the chains on your tears
To memorize a moment and burn it to your heart

This is what it feels like to be powerful
And you know what?

It feels a lot like love.

I'm dancing barefoot, bridges fall
My bones tear my skin apart, I feel them digging through
So easily they stab through my flesh
I wish I could rip myself out of my head, crush the voice box of my mind
hand death to that choking awareness
With just as little effort

I think then I would be happy

Happiness without thought may be bliss, it's also death, See the bridge falls down, and it topples on top of you, but you never knew it was there, it's death, it's death, it's death, So take your pick, madness or bliss, either way
*It's death for you in the end

Please, please help me
I have to know
if you think like I do
Does the voice between your ears sound just a little too loud?
Are there moments when you feel the electricity coming off of your thoughts
so strongly that you want to gouge out your eyes?
Are you buried so deep in your head that you're not a part of your life anymore?
Do you see the nail polish remover and for a second think, I could just drink that before remembering you're supposed to be laughing with your best friend?
How can all of this go on in my head and I just want to scream but nobody else is talking about it?
Are you scared to breathe the madness?
Or am I the duckling who too early turned to a swan, who has a family but doesn't belong, it's ugly, so ugly here in this head of mine, futile swimming, spinning in circles, instead of walking inside the lines
I can't tell if this is crazy
Please, please I'm begging you
I need to know
If your thoughts are secretly eating you out from inside
And if you're suffocating trying to hide
I need to know

How you think.

I tense up, an ice statue, afraid to even breathe
You're sitting so, so close, I can feel the heat from your arm
I send my eyes out of focus, to some dust speck in the corner
I don't want you to leave
But I don't think I want anything anymore actually because from the moment you sat down, the only person who mattered was you
I'm a puppet, waiting to be animated by the words of your spell
But they never come, thankfully, because you don't even know what I'm thinking
You don't even know you're too, too close
Eventually you get up and walk away
And power is restored to my limbs

But I'm so so scared because what happens when someone does know?
That with one touch on the wrist I can be controlled

Because this is what you taught me
You taught me on that bench, across from the lockers
To shut my mouth, sit very still, and nod yes
With tears in my eyes and a smile plastered on my face
You taught me to take anything you did or said
With sewed shut lips and a bounce in my step

You taught me how to be abused

And the thing that gets me most is that you never even said you were sorry

We stand in a fading blood-red sunset
I can barely see the curve of his lips
The weeping willow above casts us in darkness
He waits
I wring my hands together
I'm sorry to ask you here I finally say
But I need your help
"I know" he smirks
Of course he does
He's always been insufferably conceited
But he's my only hope

You know this land is being run to pieces by the dragons I begin
And that I've been fighting them for years now
I managed to push them to the smallest, darkest corner I could find
I set my story, defensive- and for good reason
He snickers
"But you can't keep them there"
I look to the ground as I say out loud what I've been afraid to admit
Right

"So that's why you need my help?"
"To keep the dragons at bay?"
He asks, appalled
"Like a babysitter" he mutters to himself

Like a guard I correct him

"And what if I said no?"
He's testing me, and I have no good response
I'm desperate
Please don't

Inexplicably, so unlike the boy I thought I knew, he softens
He closes the distance between us in one step
Cups my cheek gently with his fingers
I tense at his touch
But he is pulling my eyes to his
And for some reason, I let him

"And what if I said yes?"
He asks
He tucks the loose curl of my hair behind my ear and I shiver
What wouldn't I sacrifice to be free of the dragons?

I'd be in your debt
I stutter the words
My insides feel like they're melting out of me
To be read by those cold, dark eyes
I hesitate

You'd be a part of me, permanently

He smirks again
And the shiver travels down my spine
An apprehensive excitement for this trade
The chain to him to which I've just sentenced myself

"So be it then"
His whisper rustles through the leaves of the tree and carry across the sunset
"I have some dragons to guard"
He whistles and starts to walk away, leaving me to the rapidly increasing darkness

"I'll expect a visit every now and again"
He calls over his shoulder
I thought I was free, but through him my dealings with the dragons were instead
guaranteed

He's always been a few steps ahead of me
But I guess that makes sense
Coming from the boy who lives inside my head

I painted a girl out of sunshine
with brush strokes that glitter and play
And glow gold and pink and sweet

But I overlooked a few things in her making
Her head cannot pivot
Only move up and down
Nod yes
Yes, I'm fine
Yes, I can help

And when I painted her face,
I gave her a smile
The brightest, most heartfelt smile I could make
To make other people feel okay
But I never realized that meant she'd be stuck that way

She grins, teeth glistening
Whispers my mistakes,
I take a closer look
And find that the pink paint
is in fact the red of my blood
And the brush, my own bone
You'll give until your death! she smiles and laughs

Too late to un-create this destiny
It is all I can do to prop the sunshine girl up in front of me
A screen for others to watch a lie
And not the sad silent soul behind

While the sunshine girl does the living, the girl behind retreats to words, trying not to
Die.

As a little kid, my favorite game
was hide and seek
I've always had a talent for hiding
for painting over pain with sunshine
But it seems now that I'm meant to seek

We used to play games
with truth and dare
And while the future is uncertain, the past is locked in place
So let's turn back there
For once, I've chosen dare
Your turn

Do you trust me with the truth?