WickedHope

WickedHope Feb 2022

If Eyes Are Windows To The Soul, Then How Is It You Can Look At Me When You Don't Have One

You whisper into my ear at record pace
I could walk away but it would only start a chase
I whimper as you grab me and pull me back by my hair
Desperately I cast sideways glaces to avoid meeting your stare
I feel you pressing against me
Cocking
Your head in time with your gun
I hate how you always get me
Soaking
Trying to drown out my hearts thrum
Casting my thoughts to the angry tide
Needing to avoid your wild rides
Your highs too high and your lows bottomless
It's been years and I don't see a way out of this
You huff a laugh against the column of my throat
My mind within an ocean praying for a line or a boat
The cuts have been too deep
Your blood's mixed in with mine
I wish I could find peace through sleep
But you're still there behind my eyes

George, George,
my dear, my dear...
Come any closer
and I'll **** you, I swear

WickedHope Feb 2022

Vampire Bites Are Never Sample Sized (And Neither Is Time With You)

Hands on my throat always crushing me down, putting me out, and turning me on
I don't know how you got here but won't you stay and laugh dear
Know one needs to know what we do when we're alone
She don't even miss you and he will never know
Intoxicatingly delicious, so much so it's suspicious
How can you taste so good when the flavor's all wrong
Not sure what I'm doing but I promise I won't stay long
Pin me, choke me, bruise me colorful until I'm pacified
Scream until your throat bleeds every time your heart beats
Necromancy not love, just enough to pretend we're alive
Our fingertips glow in red hot brands leaving us hissing
Cut open from sharp tongues clashing and kissing
Leave through the window never the door
Or you might knock again and ask me for more

Let's have an affair
XOXO George

#love #affair #painful #unrequited #choke #lust

WickedHope Jan 2022

I Thought I Could Only Lay Next To People I Hated So I Never Thought I'd Stay

I'm so glad you never knew me then,
When I wrote out my pain
With more than my pen.
Bravado and brandy,
Always going dancing.
It was fun until it wasn't.
I was fun until I wasn't.
I was young until I wasn't.
I'm trying to de-age,
Find some youth,
Grasp some juvenile joviality,
Iron out the wrinkles despair and desperation
Have etched into my face.
I wonder if I met you then,
Would we have ended in the same place?
I was sprinting in a marathon of my own design.
I know you could have kept pace
But would we have had the time?
You say you would have died
And that means I'm meant for you.
But are you sure that loving me,
Even in the Now,
Isn't killing you too?

For all my faults, you're the only one who stayed.

#love #pain #past #hurt #death #recovery #suicide #sabotage

WickedHope Nov 2021

Why Is It Always Stormy Weather When I Pray For Just A ******* Ounce Of Sunshine

I've never cried in front of you
Because I thought you needed to see me be strong
But that was a mistake

You forgot I have feelings
You forgot I am fragile
So so fragile
So so breakable
You can break anything if you try hard enough

But I let you think I was composed
All this time
I hoped it would give you strength
All this time
I hoped it would give you freedom to grow
I now see my flaw
I have always played pretend a little too well

My best lies were always the ones I never spoke
You believed my silence meant I was well constructed
I wonder if I'll ever be able to make you see
That the exposed and crumbling foundations cancered by mold and rot
Are not a trick nor a lie

I wonder if you'll ever start to believe me
When I repeat that you were always the good one
You were always the good one
You're the good one
You're good

JJ let me know if you ever see this
Cause I'm pretty sure you ******* hate me
Which is fine
But I've always loved you

#love #pain #lie #lies #liar #broken