white sheets on thigh
can't move too high
blinds closed-shut out the sun
can't tell me our night is done
white sheets on thigh
can't move too high
drunk eyes can't tear-away from your face
   this     is    the     good     place

your eyes are blue
aNd mine are brown

i look up
and you look dOwn

your hands are big
and mine are small

you sAy a word
and i will fall

you don't think
and i surely do

you long for Her
and i for you

its the things
that were never planned
that taught you
how to breathe again.

We rang in the new year
On a mattress thrown on your
Living room floor
With the ball drop
On a desktop computer screen

The sound was lagging
Behind the images
And we were laughing
At how we always end up
Stuck in the past

You threw your arms around me
And let your kisses land
Carelessly wherever
They fell

And I outlined your jaw bone
With my pointer finger,
Threading it through
Your beard
And looking into your
Lazy eyes

You counted the times I said
"Like okay" at the beginning of a story
And by 5 AM , you announced
We'd reached a healthy twenty

You kept apologizing
For the way your dog
Was relentlessly
Licking my neck
But honestly
Even with her slobber
And yours
Dripping over my collar bones

And even with the night air
Tingling on my thighs,
Just a little too thick,
Just a little too warm,

Even with my straightened hair
Curling at its ends

And your brother's girlfriend's
Faint moaning sounds from behind
A locked door

There was nothing I'd rather be doing
Than watching your eyes expand and contract
To the rhythm of your stories
Before the blue light of television
Overlapping moon lit window sills
And dark spaces

You are the yellow light love,
Symbolism with a pulse,
Saying "it's officially 2017"
With a begging grin
And an undercurrent of
Gentle laughter,
Standing for change
And growth
And warmth
And simplicity

You are transparent
And in the palms of your hands
I see the year panned out
In blue veins
And freckles

And it is kind hearted
And it is forgiving
And it is kissing my forehead
And letting me breathe

I know this is going to
Be a good one

You will speak of how you're loving yourself,
And how you hate me.
I will speak of how I loved you,
And how I'll always hate myself.
You will speak of how I took everything from you,
I'll explain how hard I tried never to take anything from you.
You will speak of how there's so many men who are better and will give you the world,
I'll accept that I'm not the best, and all I owned was this one room in this building in this city in this country in this world.
There will have been so many who owned everything I didn't,
And they could spoil you with their wealth,
Yet even amongst my poverty,
I was always willing to give everything I had to you.
And although I knew it wasn't enough to fix  everything,
I wished it would've counted as much as it cost me.
You will speak of how I was nothing and you're better off now.
I will speak of how you were everything and I wish you had stayed.