I think
the world
needs
more
of us
than we
can offer

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.

i am so tired
but
everything that
exhausts me
keeps me
awake
at night

Sometimes I wish I was a cow
Blessed with ignorance
Unaware of sorrow
Of anger
Of violence
Of remorse
Sometimes I wish I was a dog
Incapable of rage
Forgiving to a fault
Free from the burden of regret
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t at all.

all my dreams are coming true
and some of it
thanks to you