tight spaces
make me dizzy
tight spaces
with many people
will make me die

trains are okay
trains with lots of people
give me panic attacks more times than not
the fact
that i'm trapped
in a moving vehecle
with no means of getting down
until the next stop
which probably isn't my stop anyway
just *****

tight spaces
make me dizzy
but when you hug me tight
it's quite the opposite
it's like i want to live
in the small space between your hands and your chest
in a train full of people
i don't mind feeling the heat your body emits
amongts a hundred other people's which i don't particularly care for

you make the me dizzy
but the kind of dizzy
that makes me feel good
and safe
i don't like tight spaces
but i don't mind being in your room
about two of your wingspans in length
as long as you're right next to me
you make the panic attacks go away
please don't go away

these ******* words just dont feel right anymore

My fingers feel numb and my pen has run dry.

I've been sitting for hours just thinking of the right rhymes

the right words, phrases that would catch the eyes of readers

I became a ******* factory.

Cold, spewing out the same generic **** over and over.

No wonder **** felt wrong.

I have not been free. I want to be free.



I want to be free of everything. Leave everything.

but love. Love is not free.

Love is binding, love is heavy, love is painful

and I dont want it.

it seems though, I have no choice.

and as if some unknown force ordained it to be

this binding

this heavy

this painful love of mine

chose you.

you



I was ready to be free.

I had sharpened the pen that would write the final farewell on my wrists, I had convinced myself that I was ready to be free.

but then I realised today was Thursday. We usually go out Thursdays. Have lunch or watch a movie.

Maybe I wasn't ready to be free yet. maybe.

thursdays are special
not because of some superstition or tradition
but because it's that one day of the week
our schedules allow us to meet
not in between classes like the rest of the other days
it's a day we have, more or less, to ourselves

on thursdays we go out to the restaurant
where strange things have happened
we watch a movie
may it be in theaters
or through the glass of your laptop screen
sometimes we just lie on your bed
until our heartbeats sing the other to sleep

i like thursdays
but i know you haven't been your best lately
like the whole world is swallowing you whole
and everything leads you to jump off the 25th floor
but please don't go
we still have adventures to go on
giants to conquer
movies to watch
strange moments to experience
we still have more thursdays together

if seeing you naked
means seeing the scars you hide beneath your clothing
then i will kiss them
before i even lay my lips yours

Life's kinda like being held at gun point.

Showing everyone you're ok

Acting natural.

when you're freaking the **** out inside.

1) I am very observant

2) I am a very good listener

3) I dont get in the way of things, I'll let you do your thing

4) When you're sad you'll find me with my hands out reached towards the sky gently plucking the glistening stones from the endless obsidian, just to give them to you. "They remind me of your eyes" I'll say.

5) I like to go out on dates.

6) I'll never forget the first time we kissed.
(Beneath the resplendent moon and underneath the flower laden fence at our friends 18th birthday. Me in my Black suit and silver bowtie and you in your black spotted dress with your frilly head piece)

7) I can be that sweater in the back of your closet that you never really take out. Just there waiting and watching but always ready to be worn when you need it.

8) I will love you more than light loves the day more than the moon loves the sky I will love you more than silence. More the summer sunday afternoons.

9) I will write you vague poems, just so I can tell you I love you.
and I hope you keep loving me too.

but i don't need to prove my intelligence to you