Krissi Micha Dees

Dec 2019

E Lynch

It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’

#depression #sadness #emotions #loneliness #hurt #abandonment #therapy #pain #sad #melancholy

Dec 2019

Abi Cash

Habit

It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night

No one ever understands my scars

#cuts #habit

Dec 2019

Grand Piano

Steps

Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling

You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual

#pain #depression #smile #breathe

Dec 2019

Morgan Brehilt

Crickets

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

Dec 2019

Cerasium

Falling Tear

Times were perfect
they were kind and loving
You had a sparkle in your eye
That made the world bright with love

The distance was great
Yet it wasn't an issue till one day
You told me its hard
You want us closer
But to be friend is enough for now

The pain worsened the more we were friends
The ***** ups I did just made things worse
My love has grown stronger and stronger
Yet it is not enough

In order to get you back I must be by your side
Times are tough and greater still
I love you so much that time stands still
I see you there alone

No one by your side and I crave
That someone will be me again
This pain and misery is far to great
Yet I long your your touch
your kissing embrace

These nights without you have made me miserable
I just wish once you see my tears
These tears of love and pure of heart
They yearn for you to wipe them away

They look to you with a tortured soul
Leaking through the glistening light
They wish you would come back to wipe them away
Even if it is just one more time

#longing #sorrow #pain #desire #love #heartache #hurt