i.
cry it out. a lot.
until you don’t have any tears left in your body.
until the pain makes your body and your emotions numb.
until you feel empty inside,
lying on the floor, wondering why there’s a stain on the ceiling.

ii.
sleep. a lot.
you’ll reach for their body in your bed to bring them closer,
but realize there’s nothing more than the cold mattress and the lonely blanket.
it won’t feel warm after a while.
it’s alright.

iii.
go out. a lot.
feel the coldness of the night wind on your red cheeks.
feel the warmness of the shots of ***** in your throat.
being surrounded by friends has never felt so essential.
they’re the special ones, the golden ones.
keep them close.

iv.
wait. a lot.
nothing will feel right for a while.
sometimes everything will feel better.
and then it’ll all suddenly come back in waves.
it’s alright.
it takes time to become whole again.

"i like the world best
when our paths
overlap,”she said,
with a tear.

A flight away,
oceans apart,
video calls everyday,
pumping my heart,
but
trust & issues,
are similar to tumours,
countless tissues,
shunning rumours,
however
you did not cause this pain,
i did this to myself,
the idea of you with someone else is grain,
you’re not good for my health

one day this will all seem like nothing.

oh how I wish today was that day.

(a.g.)