There was a time
When the evil in me
Simply took over
I tried my best
To never be sober
I had no need for morals
Not a thought of tomorrow
I lived out my deepest
Emotional scars
Needles, crack pipes
Kicked out of every local bars
Truly
I never anticipated
Getting this far
But here we are
I've no need to be a liar
My soul has been chard by fire
My poetry reflects
A man with nothing left
Nothing left to lose
Accept for you
.........................................

It has been broken
For several years
Not a word of truth
Unspoken stares
I'm not the one
Who hurt you there

I am a bad man
That's the name of my song
But I have never
Ever did you or anybody wrong

Deceitfully innocent
She runs the show
Cordially manipulative
You'd never know

I do her bidding
To secure our roof's
All my worth
Wasted in youth
She holds my deed
She knows my truth
She hides my keys
My only proof

In paths of duality
I follow her down
I am her shadow
I make no sound
I am the hollow
Inside her shell
I am the fire
Burning like hell

Emptily I ride
And somehow get by
She tolls the rope
I never ask why
................................

How quickly form mind
A memory slips
Dust in the winds
A careless wisp
Not even a trace
Of a loved ones kiss

But I was there
I held you close
Of all your love
Mine was the most
You left me behind
A scab less ghost

Out here in the ether
Fond memory seether
Sleep tight my love
For I'm with the Reaper
.......................................

If within the limitation of parentheses
(Throw away information goes here)
Holds the reflection in a greater sphere
I hold in my heart (Mostly in my art)
The thought of you my dear
Your heart should be aware
(Written in the stars
In our private holy hemisphere)
We have always
To each other been near

Sub-atomically we arrived (In ethereal beauty)
Aesthetic attractions draws us
Again we manifest (Another mess)
Until we learn the laws (Of eternal rest)
Then shall we begin again (In thee end)

Disturbing are my dreams
Sleep full of tragic memes
I can't seem to work them out
All these problems
Facing south

I can find no solution
For global unrest
There's far
Too much confusion
In this major political mess

Tossing and turning
All through the night
Mainstream media
Nothing but lies
Propaganda is served
As innocent children
Suffer and dies  

Now I need to wake up
Try and collect my thoughts
Certainly there's something
I can do
To save all they've loss
Take to the pin
Take to the streets
Why must
My empathy
Run so ******* deep!

This is a poem
About ***
Deep lustful
Honey dripping
Perhaps you'll be next
But then again
This is a poem
About sin
And in the end
Sin always
Seems to wins
So instead
This is a poem
About doubt
Because surety
Is but a silent shout
And all these thing
I need to get out
That's what poetry
Is all about!

Sometimes
Promises get broken
Subconsciously unspoken
After all
You can always say
You were only joking

I'm not afraid anymore
If you're going to leave
Close the cellar door
I've been in your chains
For far too many years
It's prime time for a cure

I peeped the light
Things can only get better
You can keep my coat
Just let go my sweater

Do I know crazy
I know him well
Too much time
In and out of hell

Even the strongest
Can't keep
The sky from falling
My motor's running
My mind keeps stalling

Here I am
If there’s anything you need
My heart is racing
My brokenness is in the lead!

I dreamed about love
so deep I cried

So beautiful and unattainable
Yet still I tried

I tried to hold on
As long as I could

Yet my dreams are so often
Misunderstood...

I wish she shared my sight
To see beyond the veil
To share my outrage
To recognize our hell

Global are my views
But she just sits at home
Watching CNN
In the propaganda zone

Evil is our government
An American has no say
All the wars abroad
Are illegal on their face

The deep state runs the president
The one percent renowned
There’s dark money in our politics
Our politicians are but clowns

This is not a conspiracy theory
This is all our fates
Close your eyes turn on Fox News
And pretend America's great

A life time of love
Can so easily slip
Beware of greasy palms
In your lover's grip
The jungle is full
Of tar pits traps
Hold on tight
I'll pull you back

Beware of the lions
Tigers and bears
Don't be a snake unaware
Tarzan the great
King of the jungle
On a slippery vine
He'd simply be Dumbo
Sooner or later we all stumble

Unworthily
Selfishness and greed
Such provisions
On this journey
No Traveler needs
...................................

The winner's lose
Happiness descends
Death awaits
Rigor mortis sets in

An empirical delusion
Blinded by grief
The most logical wisdom's
Eventually deceive

At the bottom of ism's
Awaits the final collision
At the gates
Of all that rhyme
A funeral dirge
Reconciled with birth
In the calming state
Acutely sublime

How can the enlightened
Not fear death?
Surely we all
Struggle for breath
Holding life in
As long as we can
I will give you my heart
But only on lend

Perhaps Poet's
Understand the rhymes
Contemplative in nature
Destine to arrive
  Removing the blinders
That death is a lie
......................

I hope you have
A happy birthday
You never let me know
Born on the longest night
Severed from my soul

But I was first
To see your eyes
And feel your misery
Now you hide deep inside
But you could also leave

I'm sorry I went away
The choice was never mine
But if I had but one wish
I'd hope you'd read this rhyme
.......................................................

I don't mean to be rude
But after all
That was yesterday
Moods get altered
And therefor
Feelings can change
My heart is a tainted thing

But to be fair
I get lost and I stare
But there's nothing there
I just stare in the air
It's safer not to care
...................................

Ya...
But, but
I am crazy
You see what
You want to see
There's no mercy
No not for me
All the double
Negatives  
Are meant
To deceive
Please
don't
look
At
Me
...........................

This may sound strange
But in my past life
She was my man
I was his wife
He beat my ***
In front of his parish
Bible in hand
He exorcised
Me with his he man
I had a demon
That wanted to live
He had a god
Who refused to forgive

.This time around
I am the man
Upon her being
I won't lay a hand
But she's still that entity
Who for some reason believes
There still a demon
Deep inside me
Two parts of a whole
Continue to roll
Out of control
...................
........................
............­................

Before her life could take shape
While yet unable to communicate
Unable to put into words
Her pieces unable to merge

A fluttery butterfly took flight
She was never quite right
I cry to the sky in sincerity
Mend this broken part of me

And now
I cannot bare
To face the sun
To see the effects
Of all I've done
Before she was three
I broke her and me
.....
........................

Reject my love as you may
Slowly break my heart
Each and everyday
Beautifully Broken
Here I lay

And with
In my poem
All that could ever be
Remains unknown
Cryptic in origin
The soul's entries

Be still
As I convey this hug
Engulfing you
In my love
Close the blinds
Lock your legs
Read not these words
I insist to say

Hit like
Just to be nice
A heart that's been broken
Lies
Hidden behind
Star struck eyes
..................................

Look at this mess
This baggage
Is all I’ve left
My portion
Hard pressed
I have fermented
Nonetheless

Aged and seasoned
Blemishes and lesions
Yet my austerity
She finds
Somehow pleasing
I seek no reason
That would surely
Be treason

She gets drunk
And high
On me oh my
I get low
Fast but slow
We are of one soul
And now you know
Fermented wine
From years ago!

Dear Julie
How do I convey
My heart dances
In child's play

Are you young?
Are you old?
Are you warm
Or fat and cold?

Where do you live?
Besides in my heart
You are an invisible
Beautiful art

I'm not looking for ***
I'm not trying to own
It's just my heart
Exist here alone

Dear sweet poetess
I need not know
In my heart
You're all ready home
...................................

This isn’t a case
Of writers block
Tides have turned
The winds have stopped

Unread poems
Sacks stuck at home
Unposted unknown
Dear Eliot
Where did you go?

All my thoughts
Demand to rhyme
Contemplating
Line after line

Dear Eliot
What is this evil
Who downloaded
This poetic upheaval
Within your cyber grip
You control the trending list

Where approval declines
We are poetically confined
Dear Eliot
Have you lost your mind?

In a sudden
Burst of
Synaptic re-uptake
My euphoric
Feelings stall!
Flipping
My switch
Bewilder
Bewitched
‘And so I build
My wall's...

Nagging lies
I close my eyes
And search
My memories
I grasp for love
And drown in grief
Alone I bleed in peace

I read your mind
Your star struck eyes
This crazy man
Is f...king high!
My words they flow
From a worn out soul
Yet it's my goal
To love you
Even tho
You may never
Love me!
..................................

Perhaps a man
Has more then he needs
His hunger for love
His need, his greed
Surely life exist
Outside the stream
Impersonally
We hear the screams
Of the strong
Devouring the weak

We all must
Eat our meat
It is eternal
What we seek
............

As I walk into the storm
I leave my past behind
The fourth son scorn
The outlaw torn
The thorn within
Their pride

I exist invisibly
Deep inside their minds
A passing thought
A forgotten walk
Through bitter better times

If I go casing winds
I'll make my way
To you
Close my mind
Fall behind
Someday
When I'm through!

Touch me now
If you dare
But please remember
Life an't fair
We were never meant to be
But hungry hearts need to feed
On the menu
  ***** deeds
Behind his back
I'll make you scream

And here beneath the bottom line
Your taste is finer then fine wine
The dew that drips from your peddles
Intoxicates like rolling meadows
Into the low lands I take my plunge
You are a passing lunar
Burning like the sun
I am the night
Until you come
.......

Whether a comma, or colon:
Punctuation slows my rolling
I need no period. When I end
no Capitalization when I begin
Rulelessly I flow my art
  Not a single!
Exclamation mark
Are you not the one
Who'll know?
Where a question mark
No longer goes

Warp the structure
Bend the lines
Put in repeat
Let emotion unwind
Make yourself
Your poetry's the best
Be your own ruler
Pass your own test

Take your own road
Where ever it leads
Lover or hater
It's all poetry!

Serene this cage of mine
I get trapped in my own mind
Shall I dare come up
For air
Oh how these ties bind
Less a foxhole prayer
Answered by the wind
In the distance of dreams
I lost far to much love
To be redeemed
In soul reflections
I've closed my heart
Indulging in pleasures
Aesthetic ******
In inter human
Alone I stand
And now I beg thee please
Come back my love
Come back!!

Good night my love
Alone I lay
The heart grows heaver
With the end of day
A wandering mind
In a maze of rhymes
Gathering poetry
From vanished times
Lovers eyes
Slit the night
A poetic mind
Possesses sight
To see the wrong
In an artistic light
Where the beauty
Of pain sadly ignites
And there a spark
In the dread of dreams
A mirror reflection
Of what could have been
While alone I lay
In my dark room
Rocking and a rolling
And a howling
At the moon
...........................

The sun no longer
Makes me cry
I refuse to love a lie

I can't express
A color scheme
Wordless thoughts
Are all I see

In poetic tongue
My emotions confess
Beautiful words
When I'm a mess

I can't describe
A moonlit night
A star filled sky
I'm not that bright

But
When my feelings overflow
About to burst
About to blow
I run to my pen
To save my soul!

The sun no longer
Makes me cry
I refuse to love a lie
...................................

The abuse
Belongs to me
I carry it in my soul
Eternally
Within this body
Never letting go
Dark matter of fact
It’s my
Universal role
Never give in to them
And most of all
Never let them know

She pretty much can
Shake me round now
Still I can't
Seem to quit her
All my lies
All but stutters now
Lately
I can barely whisper
And for some reason
I don't want to go home
But I could never resist her
  I embrace her and kiss her
Our love is but a blister...
Drops of calming potions
She drawls my garden bath
Water pounding on my bones
Lovers never last
.......................................

Who would dares
To expose themselves
Too a deep
Dark Hell
Who Would dare to let
Their greatest
Nightmares dwell
Who could hold
Their voice
So as not to scream aloud!
Come and take
Your chance
I believe in true romance
You can always bail
In my chambers
Where I lie
Howls of doom
Come alive
Specters roam
The cobweb halls
My closets full
Of bones I've sawed
Under these coves
I shake, shiver and toss
Weary of
The next lover lost
...........

Vaguely I recall
Shiny little eyes
My precious baby girl
Feedings in the nights
Heart beat to heart
Now but a stain on all my art
Two small boy and a baby in toll
Three years of the single parent roll
The rest well, most of us know
The pain of losing everything
Even our own soul's
So many the years
I let the pain
Take the wheel
And steer
In my dreams
I still hold my baby dear
A tinny fragment
A tear drop of ink
Brokenness runs deep
In all my poetry
Until my demon sleep
A stumbling block in my serenity
This emptiness bleeding me
..............................................

I 'm bravely fearful
The bitter end
Is still quite far away
That's why I live
So lowly
Buried in outer space
Counting the blessings
Of every curse
It seemed better
When things were worst

This final oxymoron
Makes perfect sense
I'm fearfully confident
At my own expense
It freely cost
More then I own
That's why I stay sober
Cause I'm trying to get ******!

Hay youngsters
With your words so bright
Help her save
The world tonight
Clean water
Perhaps
Clean air?
Hay stop ✋ what
You’re writing there!

Let Greta Thunberg
Touch thy muse
One last chance
Light the last fuse
Take to the streets
Actively
Write it in words
  And set your soul free!!!!

Hyperactive all my senses
I can't shut my hunger off
I want to love all the women
I grow weary of battles lost

In sweet sunshine
I come alive
I run 'til out of breath
My heart beats wild
Mile after mile
Until there's nothing left

Laying down
I dream forever
Of a heart that beats
Like mine
Beneath dark skies
Here I lie
In the calamity
Of my rhymes
.......................

Beyond politics
We as a poetic society
Possess gifts
A large verity
Arrangers of word
Raw emotional avengers
Vicariously we live
Safely as pretenders

Close the mind
Let the thoughts flow free
The world still exist
  Outside your zombie
Don't bother breathing now
Your far too late
Our earth is dying
While she's still being *****

Politics they never trend
Fantasy certainly
Will always win
That is
Until the bitter end!

Hello
From the bottom
Beneath my soul
I send fair greetings
Particularly to those
Lonely hearts
Forever bleeding

This body is owned
By somebody else
The game has changed
Now I’m for sale
You can’t afford
To go without
There’s no need
To freak by yourself
This gave me chills to write
So....
Save 44% off
On my loving tonight!

No return policy
Sorry you’ll have to keep me
Promise not to cheat me
Listen to my poetry
Put up with my guitar
Treat me like a star
It matters not
Who you are
As long as you have cash
I will love your ***!

In order to touch you
I can only use words
.....

Inappropriateness
Well some insist
The cures of a Poet
The blessing of his gift
My body well normal
My mind evolved
There is no problem
A Poet can't solve

I inter the store
Smile on my lips
A big interruption
But I always insist
Excuse me I say
In an inquiring growl
Do you sell stuff here!?
As the crowd turns around

I'm never lost for words
I'm a poetic clown
Being a Poet lifts me up
When I'm down!

Sometimes people forget
Here you have equal respect
No short change
No Poet is that deranged
Your as whole as I
I hold all your love inside
I dream you as a queen
And I’m your partner
A simple king
Together we sing
Hear my heart love
Let it ring
In your ear
I need you to help me steer
At your feet
I am near
.......................

You said it
She said it
No one regrets it
Death and suffering
Are at the Poets door
You've read it
A hundred times for sure
Think how many more
Poets and Poetess torn
War in their minds
It's rhyming time
Cuts and craziness
Are divine
Line by line
Bleeding is a sad sign
It would be different
If you were all mine
I would hold you
Until you were fine

Things I can't remember
And things that never happened
Are stored in the same location
  I forget where...

She clearly conveyed
In each and every way
People like me with such
Wicked ways
Shall never be forgiven
A hundred years later
And I'm still living
Although
From birth to decay
Her judgement
Remains
The
Mark of Cain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoQHRyh03_8

In an empty state of being
I walked along alone
The small town streets
My girl bereft of me
Quietly I bled
At Ma and Pa's Country Store
I'm always greeted
With a smile
Cheap pint of ***
Lottery tickets
Then In she comes
Beautiful stranger
I've never seen before
My heart insist to explore
I start small talk at the door
I see her eyes are as bright as mine
Where are you going
I demand her time

She say:
Tim I'm going to my house
You've been there three times
You still have amnesia don't you?

Somewhere in the night
She disappeared...
I woke up home
In a state of fear
......................

Struggle for cognizance
Disturbing nightmares
Invisible spirit creatures
Nerves system villains
Soul *******
Karma demons
Evil shadows
Walking darkness
Creeping death
Fight for life
Battle for every last breath
    **** and consume
Attempt to survive

Nothing about  suicide or cutting
Yet very dark!

Here is some interesting facts
Certain thing that have caught
My eyes about my hellopoetry page
I've been here on HP since 2013

I am following 701 poets
Here on Hello Poetry
None of whom are following me
Actually I’m following
2633 Poetess and Poets
The computer says....
701 of them are not following me.

I have 174 unfinished poems
In draft
Who, what
???
I evidently have published 177 collections
Even though I have only ever published 4
I'm in some poet's private collections, two of them
I'm sure that one has to do with my amnesia
????
I have 1362 poem on Hello Poetry
That I have saved nowhere else
I've never put them on a flash drive
Is someone running this sight??
My memory hope So!!!

The more followers you have the harder it is to trend
I have 1931 followers
I rarely get to the front page!
But I'd be happy to send you there!

About my fears
I face my own
My heart defenses
Then turns to stone
All my emptiness
To much I hold
Please try and understand
The words of a broken man
My tears run forever dry
Yet still I lie
I love my soul
My muse is weak
And so
This poem is incomplete

There's a demon on a chain
Believe me, he'e not tame
I'm sure he's to blame
He's the one I often frame
   For all my lame...

Blessed in all we do
While the others
All get *******
No not the Palestinians
More like a double negative
Perhaps like a Jew

Saudi oil on the right?
Yemen has nothing left
All our scattered armies
Everywhere???
Polar meltdown at best!

Leave Iran alone
Stop picking at those bone
Come on one percent
Leave well enough alone

I'm not going to use his name
He already has far too much fame
  It's Bernie or bust
In that you can trust!
And that's all I'm saying!!!