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A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
 Dec 2018 Pixie Gypsy Rose
Jordan
Dreamer of peace
Forever waiting
Free yourself
For thunder is in heaven too
 Dec 2018 Pixie Gypsy Rose
Brando
I could not speak
For you have poured cement down my throat
You told me once that my opinions were too strong to be heard
I ingested your indignity
And silenced myself
You told me to quiet down
As you wrapped your hands not around my body
But around my neck and my mouth
You made me fear the sound of my own voice
I began to believe that everyone else did too
This is what silence is
It is both the sound of my love for you
And my own despair
the fear of being heard
 Dec 2018 Pixie Gypsy Rose
Daniel
Ever since I was a kid,
The answer was deeply hid -

Am I unique?
Or am I just a part of something big?
Shallow,but so deep,
Depthless like the sea,
Waves of sadness, let no one see.
 Dec 2018 Pixie Gypsy Rose
Bree
I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.
6 months self harm free! Writing about it helps fight the urge
 Dec 2018 Pixie Gypsy Rose
Riya
I really hate it when I can't cry
Or when I feel like crap
And I can't complain about it
I really hate this feeling
Of not feeling.
I want to scream
But why would I?
Why yell for no reason?
Why would you even try?
Can't even think of a reason to
Do anything...anymore.
 Dec 2018 Pixie Gypsy Rose
Dream
You set me on fire

everytime
i catch your eyes burning
into my bare
skin.
It's easier to be happy when you've been sad
Forget the small stuff and just be glad
It's important to recognize all the bad
But appreciate all the luck you've had

— The End —