fingers tapping against your thigh, music note mumblings. subtract everyone else and watch the feeling
m
  u
     l
       t
         i
           p
              l
                y
disassemble and reassemble the ensemble and allocate your earnings as earnestly as you can without appearing overeager. overhearing a conspiracy between my lips and your neck. a secret isn't a secret unless you whisper it, so do it, make sure the russians don't hear us as they rush off to give reports on that look I just gave you, the one that is oh so telling. reveling in it. living in the revelation of your skin, pouring down your presence like honey, like sweet molasses dripping thick and sweet, simmering under the sun, glimmering in the water like a jewel, jealous and ****, painful and dark and dazzling. beating only in anatomical hearts, out of tune, cacophony and cruel crimson, missing someone not something, left wanting and waning in the light of a lopsided moon, farsighted and fingers that prune in purple light rippling across the walls, willing to travel the planes of your body, embodied travesty traversing the sahara, dunes doomed to be swept away by the wind, breaking and kept away, each grain unable to touch one another more than once, gorgeous enough to be pain, staking your claim on misery before the misers bury it in their own backyards, backwards discovery, a convenient amnesia, believing ruses and runes to decipher in delicate dictum like tricking a language into translating itself.

almost too much of not enough.

People who do
horrible things
go to prison, get
put in cells,

                                        I’m
just wondering
what I did to
get put in the
cage that is
my mind,

                                        trapped
in an endless
cycle, a washing
machine of pain
and hurt tumbling

                                        inside
my head. I
don’t believe
that I’ve done
anything wrong, but

                                        my
prison suggests
otherwise, and
so do the voices
residing inside my

                                        head

Even in certain circles in certain minds
in certain frames at certain times
We can't know what's true
And misconstrue can ring like
Miss you too

Self titles
Reign demeaning
And a finished product
Watched like a B-Rated pre-screening
Fed my gray matter
But the rest of me is depleting

Craig Morgan's playing baseball
Elliot Smith in the background screaming
Drinking OJ, it's how the Kardashians got there money,
Nothing good even came from the cover, trust me it didn't.

"She's in your hands now
Treat her like a Princess
You gotta respect her mind and her body"

"Welcome to Shaboom Shaboom"

Casting waves of pure lore
To line the yielding lips
A heart of splinters like the crown of thorn
Chasing the shade of an eclipse

Shirt drawn open, pulling smoke
Staggered to the racing strait
Tilted head as he spoke
Prose of prayer to the landscape

Pleading to follow the saints
Plunging to kneel like a ribbon to gravity
Make him in canvass and paint
Trace him in the chasm of apathy

As the horizon peaks and pales
He's dizzy with indigo fumes
Abides home by the formidable trail
And cursing the mirthless tune

"these seats aren't
made for comfort"
the cop tells me
as i buckle the belt

as i sit there,
i see my reflection
in the glass
in front of me
and i hate myself

i wonder if they put
that little bit of glass
in that specific place
for that exact purpose

some people think that
mirrors are a view
into another world,
a parallel universe

i tuck a piece of hair
behind my ear,
look at the glass
and smile.

I lay on the concrete,
knuckles scratched from adjusting my shirt to shield my belly from the wind
But it's beautiful.
Laying here
with just enough sun and shade
Headphones in
yet the only surround sound needed
is the gentle roar of the wind in the trees
They shout, they clamour, they dance
then peter off into a whisper before unleashing another cry of life.

I turn
In my fetal position I see a squirrel
I didn't know they could lay that still: lifeless fur sprawled on the wood.
No; he instead is the epitome of life
Nestled in a branch
Sun bathing his tiny back
I see his breathing
Slow, at peace, serene.
I didn't know they could lay that still.
I watch through the branches of dancing green
We lay together,
taking a well-deserved break
For a moment, our life-activity is on hold.
We take You in as we take in the day.
When he sits up, he is still at rest.
When he scratches and bathes, he is still at rest.
Even his walk down the trunk is leisurely.
Lackadaisical squirrel,
I want to live like you.
If I lay on this concrete long enough,
perhaps I'll embrace the world with no fear as well.

I haven't slept for nights,
Waking up in my trials
Mistaking midnights for mornings,
Tired by the lack of dreams
And a need to see the ones I think come true.

I work like a clock now
Going round and round
Rising up only to fall,
Its all a routine,
The ticks follow some more lost ticks.

And I walk through rooms across rooms
Not noticing the doors,
And I end up in places I should have known
But I still don't,
I'm lost in a city I grew up in.

I listen to people as to how they failed
And I convince myself to follow them,
Though I know my ways but I abandon them
Due to my lack of trust in self and I complain of others
Never trusting me.

I sort through the truths
Discarding the unacceptable,
Constructing a few new
And feed them to the ones I meet
Watching myself crave for a confession and becoming a lie.

I ask others of their well being
Making through their masks,
And then they ask in return
I can't trust the words I reply
But they do.

I go out hating my home
And out in the world I see the filth
So I return alone.
The things I could do to better
Instead out there I become one with the guilt.

And I fall in love
And pray to fall out the next second,
I look at us and see how he is better
And then I look at the lovers
And pray that we never become them.

And I fail, I fall
As I stand steady
Grabbing at air for balance,
And I look around for stability
But instead I self destruct!